I Don'T Want To Give Up On Life But I Don'T Want To Day Today

Days have went by and I only see black and white nothing seems to change I tried to smile I try to give you and I what we need or what I need. I was feeling alot of pain inside my soul for many years for things in my past that I choose to not remeber from my child hood to who I am today. I am for now just going to let you know how I amj feeling right now and cant explain why I do but I just do I no longer feel the pain the hurt the lonelyness I have inside. I cant cry when I feel like I want to cry, the smile on my face is just a show to try to trick myt soul to be happy but it dont work i always seem to be angry with the ones around me and I just am so tried of just being this wayt, I dont care if I live any more the ones who did care I have already pused them away. I am alone I have no one that has the time to listen to me give up on what I never had and that was a life that i should be able and want to live. to sit hear and wonder would they and I be better off if I was not around any more? I all ready feel like I am walking dead but it has to be better than this least Io know it will be a feeling or a life I have never felt before. I am empty inside