I Need Guidance, I Need To Figure Out Where I'M At.

Me and my mom got into a big fight, I was living in the basement and there's a pool table in there, i sometimes put my stuff on there and a couple nights ago she got REALLY drunk and started screaming at me about it, I was ok with getting my stuff off of the pool table, but she kept screaming at me and while i was getting my stuff off the pool table she changed from "get your stuff off the pool table" to "get out of my house" and i asked her why she wanted me to and she just kept screaming drunkenly to get out of "her" house.

last april my dad passed away, and he wasn't the greatest guy, drank a lot and he used to yell at us all the time, always sat in the family room watching the tv before he passed, that's a story for another day. but after he passed away my mom has gone from binge drinking to drinking pretty much all day every day and she can't even hold her life together. She doesn't have a job and is running off of social security from when my dad passed away, i'm amazed she still has the her house.

and so when she says "her" house, it's really my dad's house because he's the one who payed for it, or it's the governments house because they technically own the property the house is on, or most of all, it's my sister's house, she's 12, and she's still growing up, she's super smart, she's the coolest sister ever, and i feel like she deserves a good house to grow up in.

so while my mom is screaming at me to get out of her house i continue to tell her "fine, i'll get my stuff and go" but she just keeps screaming, and so i scream at her back and tell her "I'm getting my stuff, ok?!" and she continues to scream, then starts to push and hit me, and so i got out of there and called the police, and so i have the choice of either keeping things on the low or i can press charges for domestic violence. I've gotten all of the really important stuff and i'm staying with a friend until i can hopefully move in with a room mate or something. My car is having major problems so i'm having problems getting between my two jobs.

I'm in a rut right now, my car is having problems starting at the worst times, my 2 jobs are stressful, right now i have no place to call home, i'm 19 and i don't even have enough money to go to college and no one to help with paying for even community college, i didn't do anything major to provoke my mom, i've always helped around the house as much as i could with 2 jobs, even fixed her screen door a couple times and did my own laundry, i just wish she could straighten her self up, and i wish i had enough money to be stable for more than 2 days lol, i could use advice. Or the lottery. that'd be nice...
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3 Responses Feb 11, 2013

I'm really sorry that you are going through this....do you have friends you can live with? You could go to the department of health and human services or whatever they call it in the state you live in and see if you can get some state aid for food and possibly housing....those are the most important things...if you would like to go to college you can apply for financial aid and you don't have to use it all for school at that time you can use it to buy books and etc then whats left over can help fix your car and help support you. Do you have any friends or support of any kind emotionally? That's also very important. I hoped this helped a little and if you need someone to talk to or vent feel free to hit me up anytime :)

Contact you big brother. Talk to him sincerely and tell him you need his help, but let him know that you will be saving to get out on your own. Your don't want to over stay on anyone. Ask him to give you maybe six months and work real hard and save your money. Then get a studio apartment. Situate yourself to where you can use the city bus in case your car goes out. And if he allows you to stay, please keep your area clean and help him around the house and the yard. Most important pray always and acknowledge God. He will hear your prayers.

Listen to the voices
Taste their words
Follow their wishes

"Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill" they whisper
Follow their wishes, you will.