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Tired of It All

I am tired of being alone all the time.  I've had medical problems that have made it impossible for me to work a regular job.  I don't have a third arm or anything and look rather normal. I use to work Full Time and I can do normal stuff. When I was in the hospital for 3 months most everyone forgot I was even there.  Most of the friends I do have are married (I'm not - would love to be).  And they only make time for me when there is nothing else for them to do.  I try to be thoughtful and caring and understanding.  Treating people like I want to be treated.  But I still end up by myself.  I am a good person with a big heart and just want the same companionship as everyone else but I just feel like the "expendible" friend.  This weekend my supposed "best friend" and I were suppose to spend the day together.  She said she'd call me and let me know when she'd be available.  I never heard from her all day (I was curious if she'd call - so I didn't call her).  On Monday I emailed her at work and she said she'd forgotten about spending the day together.  Another friend that I had since HS was just sent to Iraq recently.  I hadn't heard from her in a while but she got all chatty before she went.  I think the reason she did was that she want someone to send stuff to her while she was there.  But once she gets back to the states it will probably go back to being "everything about her husband" unless she is DESPERATE.  I know I am a good person and I am tired of being in 10th place on everyone's list.

wonderland74 wonderland74 31-35 Aug 27, 2008

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