Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying?

If one has enough courage to die, why is there not also enough courage to change, to live? I've had a life long battle with loneliness, and yet, people stress me out, I need me time. But lately, I've had so much me time, it's driving me batshit mad. I've had few close friendships, and none that have withstood time... Can one lower a lifetime of barriers, many erected to protect oneself from emotional abusers, and accept that it will always still be a hard, likely unrewarding road? I don't expect answers... I'm just venting, hoping to find another way out of that box, that same insane spiral of thought; that it's impossible and it's too late and I'm doomed. Time to get busy!
lifelongloner lifelongloner
36-40, M
2 Responses Jun 24, 2007

so the whole. significant other as the soul friendship. that's where i am now. i detatched myself completely from anyone else. but he didn't. he has more friends than i can count. none of them like me either. and frankly the boyfriend isn't all that fond of me at the moment. i do need a buddy. so maybe we aren't born enemies. if you have IM i'm maiaxxstar

I agree with everything you said. It has been a tough road at times. I have decided that I will make the best of the time I spend alone. I will try and take small steps to change my world. Even if I go and do something that I enjoy and just chat with people that I do not know and see how it goes. It all depends on how safe I feel with the type of people I spend time with.