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Will It Ever Cease???

This lonliness....sometimes, I SWEAR I'm dying from the inside out. 

I heard about this experiment that was conducted once, in Germany.  They took a bunch of orphaned babies and split them into two groups.  To the first group, they gave the normal amount of nurturing, affection and love.  To the other, they had only limited contact with;  just when neccesary to physically maintain their lives.  The second group suffered from a condition called, "Failure to thrive"  This second group of babies didn't gain weight like they were supposed to and suffered all manner of developmental disabilities!  Well, that's how I feel, sometimes.

I've spent YEARS in virtual isolation.  Some of it is self-imposed...because I enjoy being a lone.  And, plus, with the bipolar, lots of times, I just have NO tolerance for people.  But, I can't remember the last time someone in my real life said or did something genuinely kind to or for me.  It makes me so sad and, honestly, I feel like one of those german babies.  I'm losing weight and can never hide from the piercing ache in my gut...the undying ache for love..... for real friendship....

I have become QUITE the homebody in recent years.  A lot of my staying at home started because of the overdose and my drug and alcohol abuse..from my not trusting myself and being afraid of what kind of messes I would get myself into.  But, I'm not anti-social.  I interact with people wherever I go, whenever I do leave the house, even if it's only to go to the corner store.  I deeply enjoy the relationships I've developed within my (small) community.  I'm also very adventurous...I LOVE new experiences, and usually, won't hesitate to do life on my myself.  (I even went camping last summer alone!  It was awesome...very healing and fasting.  I danced by my fire to India Arie's "Purify Me" LIKE NO ONE WAS WATCHING!  awesome ****...that dancing like no one is watching...I highly reccommend it for every breathing soul!)

So, it's not like I'm an introvert or afraid of living.  I don't have agoraphobia or anything like that.  I like being at home but, i'm also just really TIRED of doing EVERYthing alone.  Just last night, because I felt like dancing and had gotten tired of doing it alone for the passed three days in my bedroom, I went out to a local myself!  I walked straight through the door, (shook the hand of the doorman who was there to ask for id's instead of reaching for my driver's license) then walked, in a straight line, directly onto the dance floor, where I stayed until my hair was soaked with sweat and I left.  I never visited the bar or the restroom.  I just danced, and relished the feel of all that energy....of all those people coming together for a common move to music.  This isn't the first time I've done it.  The point is, I CAN do stuff like that and find true fulfillment.  BUT I AM STILL SO ******* LONELY, I COULD JUST DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MysticWriter MysticWriter 36-40, F 262 Responses Aug 10, 2006

Your Response


I know whAt you mean it is painful. I have buried myself in work n food. Lost my friends along the way. And virtual y dont have a life.

Honestly wish I could do this.. You're an inspiration.

Add a response...

Write music. You have the gift. Uplift others with your songs and you will touch the world and you will be overwhelmed with gratitude.

Dont blame yourself for other people's selfishness and their inability to be kind to you. I am saying thus because I know what kind of people I hv met and how they have treated me. Nobody wants to be alone voluntarily.

You did right!! Don't isolate yourself. Go out meet ppl, if your friends can't support you through the bad times they are not friends, break the ties. Seek ppl that encourage you, be there to listen to you through good and bad that's a friend. I know where you stand. I am in the same boat. Just similar circumstances and different ones. Just try to be happy no matter the circumstances. You have my sympathy.

emptiness and pain comes from your soul. the only way to feed your soul is to give. volunteer

Reading you is like reading a page in my diary from a few years ago.
I was a nice girl, very social, enjoying new experiences, , and i was going out by myself without a fear dancing too (probably to the song "dancing with mysehelf"), but there was this void already, i managed to feel like i filled it up most of the time and deluded myself in one night bonds with almost imaginary "friends" ... But the day after i was alone again ...

I also have 4 girlfriends whom i have known for 12 to 23 years for some of them (I am 24 years old) and we're supposed to be the best friends !!! please ... I mean, sure when we meet once evry 6 months it feels like nothing has changed, and sure we tell jokes, stuff, and drink and laugh, but my heart's not to it ... Which one of my bestfriends actually texted me or enquired for news, or even answered to my cry for help during the 6 months we didn't see each other? None, because they don't want to hear the pain or suffering, they can only handle the fun times, and the meet ups planning via the facebook group dedicated to it . When i know they talk to each other and do stuff without me (not that i should AKWAYS be part of EVERYTHING, but i can't be PART of NOTHING and still smile can I ?)during these times i'm crying and no one even bothers anymore, because they assume it's my turn to write or something, how am i supposed to write ? my endeavours've all been absolutely useless ...

I took trips/roadtrips, i've played music, i've danced, i've hung out in bars, met new people, ahain and again .... ALWAYS ALONE .... STILL ALONE ...

But it's been going on for long now and my state only was deteriorated by time and efforts ... I've given up, i started to disappear, to hide, i don't have a job anymore, i neglect myself, i stay in my room crying, doing nothing, i even missed an appointment at the unemployment office, and for that matter i won't have money anymore but i don't care ... I want it to cease even if i have to disappear ... I don't have IDs anymore lost them a year ago and never replaced them, soon even society will have forgotten me, Fired me ?

I took my chances, all i got was loneliness ... I give up

Don't give up!! Fight i also want to give up cause nothing ever changes no matter how much I try to change it. So fight like your in a war for survival.

Fight like you're defending love. Because love always prevails. War serves no one. Be the change you are looking for and others will follow your lead.

You haven't given up. Write that book you always wanted to write. Write it about what you are passionate about. It's waiting for you to spread good news and to give others companionship. Maybe a book of poems? Recipes?

I too suffer from bipolar. I can't stand meeting new people, it brings on a horrible anxiety. So all I'm left with is this crushing loneliness.

you can overcome this if you feel i can help as a MH nurse i am here

When you feel anxious find something to soothe you. Music, art, prayer, meditation, exercise, dancing. What touches your soul the most? What are you denying yourself? Try chakra cleansing or try a journal and write down your feelings, your beliefs, your needs your insecurities and take time to read them to yourself out loud. Then identify the things you can change and what you cannot. What you cannot change, let it go. What you can change, make a list and check them off one at a time as you do change them. Feel your own power. You control your life. Be your own best friend and encourage yourself. Use positive affirmations you believe in and use them daily! You can change anything you chose to change.

loneliness is a state of mind you can be a hermit and live alone on a mountain surrounded by nature and be at peace with the world or live in Europe's biggest city with a population of 8 million people and be very lonely. as a counsellor and psychologist i may be able to help

I am going through the same :( I just wish I could die :(

Yet you are very much alive. Get in tune with yourself. Since you do not seem to fear death, maybe you fear living. The only way to conquer that is to find your gift, you have one, and you know it. Stop being afraid, and just go do it!! Go for it. When we try we succeed. What is your talent? What is it you want? Volunteer at a soup kitchen or something like that. When you help others, you help yourself.

Loneliness is the most crippling disease that humans can experience, in my opinion. After all, it is proven human beings can die from simply being ostracized by their society.

Do whatever you can to get your mind off of it, and try your hardest to use sites like these and other internet sites to find support or even just humor. The mindset of being lonely can be more damaging than the loneliness itself.

I agree but I sometimes feel like I rather be single and alone than with someone and lonely.

Well said. Law of attraction.

You need to make a habit of going out dear you might start alone but soon you will meet friends. Dear the human being was made to relate we are relational human beings so pls take note

I wish I had the guts to do the dancing like you did at the bar. Nice.

Very true, great courage. You have a beautiful name by the way, it means wisdom.

I'm adventurous too. I'm not afraid to do anything alone. I go urban exploring and spray painting alone. Tonight I went to a Shakespeare play and a free movie in the park alone. But I'm getting tired of being much.

Speaking out against the evil of human society is always right, and always empowering. Whether isolated now, or socialised at cost of a lot of unjust personal repression, or can remember past times of being either or both, what all can do is tell each other how well they realise this truth. There is a solidarity in it.

Well, as said in a Fall Out Boy song, "The best of us can find happiness in misery." So, I hope you really find happiness in misery because I think you're one of the best of us. :D cheer up

I feel alone all the time too, especially at parties and gatherings, despite having hoards of friends and acquaintances.It doesn't matter whether you're alone at home or at a public gathering.Loneliness is a matter of the mind.It's that gaping hole in your soul which can be filled by just a single person who truly understands and values you.

Hi MysticWriter. I found this site just a few minutes ago by googling 'I am lonely'. I know how you feel with the loneliness though otherwise we're very different. I guess my equivalent feeling to how you felt when camping and dancing alone is last summer when I took a random last minute road trip out west. I packed my stuff up in a couple of hours and hit the road. I am normally a very predictable person in many aspects, but the freedom and beauty of nature I experienced on that nearly 4000 mile trip made me feel like nothing else ever has. I am sorry you feel lonely but I am glad you are able to find your moments of beauty in life. Those are what we all live for no matter who we are. I hesitate to give advice but I would just say that maybe you, I, and everyone else lonely out there should seek these moments out more often without regard for others' actions or feelings. Maybe in doing so, we'd find some others who we can be with and kill our loneliness.

oh good dawg, just die a bit quicker!!!

Well my friend, I belong to the other group of kids who were secluded. So I would request you to send me a pill which can put an end to all my sufferings. Trust me buddy, you would be my best friend ever ! Love to you !
I wish you my share of all the happiness. May god be with you.

Wow, I know that feeling like you are dying from the inside out. I can feel lonely in a room full of people. Nobody wants to know how I really feel, not even me anymore. I never thought that life could feel so awful.

Neither did I...

I am like this too except that I don't even bother trying to meet people anymore. I am nice whenever I am out, but I don't attempt to talk to people unless confronted first. It's funny how you mentioned that experiment with the babies because I feel I have those problems too.

relationships are hard work, to get a little u have to give a lot

But when you give it your all and still get rejected. It's hard to smile during the crisis.

~You~ are so cool! Keep dancin :) With or without somebody!

Peaceness and Love Mystic

Hey man.,

I feel what you are saying. Me i am lonely 2. It all started when something very very traumatizing happened to me in my own family. I didnt get raped but what i saw is so bad that i feel kinda raped.

Before that i had a lot of friends and i was very popular at school. ( i was 15 then) . After i seen this i became very anti social, i sitted alone in school yart and didsnt greet people anymore. now 10 years later i am all by myself. my family dont talk to me no more i dont have friends and not 1 girl looks or want to to talk to me. Im not bad looking.

I dont want to be like this. i want to be happy and have a normal life like everybody else. i want to laugh with people and everythign.

I cant do it. its so bad that sometimes i ask God to take my life away. Im so tired of it.

can u add me please?

I know the feeling. Feel free to add me if you choose and need to vent.

Sometimes being alone within a group of people is the most painful. I am in a wheelchair and below most peoples line of vision. I feel like I don't exist. Sometimes I wonder if I do. But you seem to know that you have a place in this world. When you go out go to a group or a church where someone will ask your name and interact with you. You don't need to isolate yourself. Bipolar is now more understood. There a groups where you could connect with other people who know how you feel. If you are on track with your meds and not abusing drugs or booze you can find a friend. It only takes one to make the difference. Don't waste your life. You could find happiness out there somewhere. Two can dance as beautifully as one.

thats the worst of loneliness, you're not antisocial yet you're alone, i recomend you to start seeing someone who you believe have feelings for you( friendship or romantic) going out with someone will aid you and i bet you know that person

There are groups known as "Meet Ups". For every kind of interest, hobby, and age range. They're located all over the country. You can usually find many near where you live. Go to and check them out. There's bound to be a meetup group you would like to join, or you can start one yourself. I found out about Meet Up groups while searching online oneday, as I suffer from loneliness too. You can try a group out to see if you feel comfortable with them. After that, you can join the group - most only cost $5 a year! The only thing you have to do is show up - and if you decide the group is not for you, there is no commitment. You will meet others who show up for the first time too, so you often won't be the only newbie in the group. You mention you love dancing. There are dancing groups! You can complete a very quick and simple checklist of your interests and Meet Up will instantly bring up groups that meet your interests. Please try it out. As you can see, there are thousands of people who feel lonely, just like you. You are not alone!! And remember, YOU ARE LOVED.

Im alone. I know i always will be. Its a terrible kold cascading over my shoulder down my side and through my toes kind of feeling. I feel pain and sadness everyday of every second of my fruitless simple lost attempt at life

As sad as your comment is I know how you feel. I feel like I have just given up on myself. There was a bright future at one point but now all I see is blackness. I wish I could be of more help but I just wanted to say that I sympathize with you and that you are not alone in your feeling.

Well, nothing is nicer than dying. After you wil have died to yourself as an ego, then you will be made dance with the universal music by the universal intelligence and love which is moving the all. Do not fear to die!

While my story is different, I too ended up here. I hide in my house. If you want to reach out for support, I can listen.

Yes. I understand. There are others who feel the same way

i feel the same.. i feel weird and unnatural when i am with people.. most people take for granted the social , family aspects of their lives but for some of us even the simplest interaction can be satisfying ... i feel like am looking into a window and standing outside in the cold when everyone else is tucking into a sumptuous meal .... i hate facebook when people post the simplest things they have done with others like just popping to the local pub or a sunday lunch at their mothers etc etc my life is devoid of even those simple things :-( so i make the most of every interaction with others that i can if that makes me seem sad then hell so be it... i love my sadness and eccentricity sometimes x

That's exactly how I feel when I see facebook posts ;( I went on ahead and deactivated it, can't keep torturing myself....

I feel the same. Sometimes I feel like there is the rest of the world, and me - completely separate from it. I am also introverted, but not anti-social and I love nothing more than feeling really connected to another human being. Reading facebook can often make things worse because many people seem to be constantly posting pics of themselves with their many friends and wonderful social lives.

I think we all need to have someone else that "sees" us as we are and loves us anyway. Someone who shares in our daily cares and laughs with us. Not to have that can feel profoundly sad.

There is nothing wrong with being alone. Just sometime, some of us need more human contact than others. It is ok to have friends that are not too clinging so you can just call put and meet up and have fun with. Some of us like to have a more constant presence of another while some might feel it is too much that you can't breathe. All we need is learn to find our comfort zone and don't let others persuade us to be someone we are not able to be. Some of us maybe afraid to get hurt or use by others so we preferred to stay alone. Life is full of choices. Choices are like a game you play. You don't know what the out comes of things until time unfold it after we made the choice. Live life. Life is not perfect but it is an adventure like a book and you're the writer of your book. Live.

I read this and I realze maybe me liking to be by myself is just a defense mechanism because I feel the same way. I feel best dancing and singing by myself, or like i'm by myself. I feel like I love being alone but then am so lonely. Idk I just wish I had Someone who could roll with my crazy and like me anyway. I feel like we need people to like us more than normal people do.

I know this sounds kind of cliche, and it is not a total solution, but when I feel so hurt and lonley inside, I try to find someone to give tt. When I volunteer at a homeless shelter I feel more connected and I see that there are good things in my life.......and the other volunteers there tend to be kind souls that I can talk to also.

Hey, I feel you. I have the same problem as we speak. I do enjoy solitude. I want to be connected to another human being but I fear intimacy. I need to learn to love myself unconditionally, because that is my biggest barrier. Good luck hun! You inspire me :)

Hello I am a 34 year old guy that is single and I am bipolar to and I was wondering if we could be friends

Like i couldve written it myself - you just described me. im sorry, this is a sad way to exist - enjoying that momentary rush in between all the lonely. i hope things get better for you

I do exactly the same thing. Except I have never camped by myself before. I have bipolar, and suffer in my room silently too, occassionally going out for drugs and music. Have you ever thought of suicide?

Do you keep to yourself because you enjoy solitude or do you dislike the games people play?

I could cry for you I know you I see you in the mirror I'm sorry for you and me. I really don't mind being alone I really kind of like it till I don't

I'm very lonely too - I'm unemployed and I spend so much time on my own in the day I feel I could scream. I do know people, but I only really talk to them on the phone at night. Added to this, I met a guy recently who I really liked. I saw him about 4 times and I've texted him since and he's not replied and not phoned. I feel rejected and when I was with him I felt happy - I loved his sense of humour! I'm so sad about this. I used to see my best friend a lot in the daytime, but now her boyfriend is a bit jealous of our friendship and I hardly see her. Yeah, life sucks at times!

Oh man I love to go out with my friends and hang out with them, but as the years went by, and they all got in to relationships and got married and found better paying jobs I don't see much of them anymore. I miss the touch of a loving hand, and the joys of having someone love you for who you are. I have been so lonely for so long. It hurts so bad to know I will die alone. In fact I forgot what love is, I just know how to hurt. Oh well I still got a passport and some cash on me so when I get sick of this life I can leave and see what the rest of this world has to offer. Keep looking for your Joy

i am envious of your ability to enjoy things alone. i cannot do that. it just reminds me even more of my loneliness. i've lost so much weight it's unreal. and i'm still losing. i eat like a horse at night and wake up 3 lbs. lighter. i'm lethargic and tired. all i wanna do is cry. i used to be the opposite. i was a disc jockey here years ago and was the front person for the shows we did. i could really get the crowd going and could take over a room in just a few minutes. now, i'm the total opposite. i got nothing to talk about with anyone cause i have nothing going on in my life but being a custodian! i think my brain is shot. i feel like all the different meds i've tried have messed with my brain chemistry forever! i'm so scared of my future or lack of one. i wish you well. at least you're able to get out there and enjoy things by yourself. i envy you.

Oh , i do the same thing and still lonely. Sometimes i think im crazy

i applaud you for going out to a club on your own. every time i've tried something like that the results have been disappointing. its good for you.

You sound so much like me that it's scary. And I really do mean that -- it was frightening to read since I can relate so much to what you're describing. I'm not really sure what we can do about it. As with everything we ultimately we put ourselves in this situation, no matter how bad it feels to realize that, and we are the only ones that can drag ourselves out of it, perhaps with some help from friends but there really aren't any to have a serious discussion with.<br />
<br />
Telling you ‘good luck’ won't really do any good, so I'll instead say that you can feel free to message me if you ever should feel like doing so. I'm absolutely certain it can get better, it's just the road to get there that is a little difficult to follow.<br />
<br />
I wish you well,<br />
<br />

I understand what you mean by lonely. You want a real connection. You might find someone to help, someone to put yourself out for, as a volunteer such as with victim support or the Samaritans. By offering t support someone you are yourself supported. More than 32,000 people are members of this group

Why are you alone? Have you chosen to be that way; I mean not have a partner? How old are you? You seriously have to break this right here or you'll be writing this 20 years from me, been there, done that.

You know introverts don't hate people or social interaction. They just tend to do well in smaller groups and don't usually talk unless they have a reason to. We can get just as lonely as anyone else. (of course you may know this but I just thought I'd check cause you mentioned them and some people don't know that we still can like people)

Intellectually speaking; your analogy of the german babies intrigues me. I question though, are you lonely because you do not have a companion?, or perhaps are you lonely because you don't want to be close to anyone because you feel no one can possibly understand your complex way of thinking? Or derived from your solo dance session, are you comfortable with anonymity but want to be a part of society?

If its self imposed then you can get out of it the same way you got in. You want friendship? Youre gonna need to reach out and find it for yourself plenty of people here are happy enouggt to talk to you and be your friend vut if you want a human touch that is something you have to do for yourself. You already proved that you could.

you described the way i live and hate for last 5 years.. I do understand you. hugs from turkey

I know how you feel, the pain of being alone is too much and you really wan it to stop.

ahh dont be sad .. keep your spirits high . and yeah go out more frequently . :) dont be soo cautious

you know loneliness is sickness, u can do crazy things. <br />
<br />
so y dont we all mention where we from and see if any of us is close by so dat we can hoock up and meet each other for drinks etc... at least meet someone who knows how it feels like to be loney and alone.

you know loneliness is sickness, u can do crazy things. <br />
<br />
so y dont we all mention where we from and see if any of us is close by so dat we can hoock up and meet each other for drinks etc... at least meet someone who knows how it feels like to be loney and alone.

It is killing to be alone hopping one day it will end or I will learn how to cope with it.

It's nice to know I'm not the only one. It's been decades alone for me and it is killing me physically. I'm to the point I don't care anymore because as hard as I try, things just don't seem to work out.<br />
<br />
After thousands of dollars in counseling & seeing doctors/meds, I'm broke, have nothing to offer anyone & am better off alone.<br />
<br />
I like your spirit! Don't lose that ever!!


Sometimes it doesnt matter what you do to fight the lonliness. Some people are just meant to be alone.

just be your self....thats the most important thing...

Labyrinth of Solitude by Octavio Paz. A great book about the dilemma of loneliness on our planet. We are born into this physical world of duality and it fools us into thinking that we are separate. We are not. We are all one. Dancing in the woods by yourself is pure proof that you are NOT alone, you are connected to everything that is. I love your story, and please know that you aren't alone.<br />
Embrissa: you ARE loved. I hope you get to feel that some day.

I can deduce that you are strong and i admire you ! I'm here in caseyou need a shoulder to cry on

I am reading some of the posts about being lonely and I sure can relate to them. I find myself crying in my sleep when I wake up. Sometimes I am so lonely at night I cry myself to sleep. Then I fall asleep. And so when I wake up in the morning I find myself crying or have cried. At least I am releasing it and I can go on with my day because I've gotten it out of my system. I feel it's not healthy to keep it all bottled up inside you. So I release it.

I was going to complain (lol) that everyone was half my age, then I realized this story is 6 years old. hmmmm...

I will help you i am also lonely

First, I want to say that you're amazing. You inspire me. Honestly, you are a very cool person. I know many times people who have lots of friends often do not get out and live life and have a good time and truly experience life. So other people are not everything. But I do know where you're coming from about the loneliness.<br />
<br />
Here's the one piece of advice I *can* give you. When someone first told me this, it seemed like the truest thing I'd ever heard :-) The person who told me this was once very lonely, with few friends, and he immersed himself in the hobby of rock-climbing. One night, he got caught out on a steep cliff in a near-blizzard and almost died. Time and again he was afraid he was going to slip and die. But eventually near the end he was able to perfectly trust in himself, so fully that he no longer ignored his inner voice. After that, he never had self-doubt again and he was never lonely.<br />
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You can never be lonely as long as you love yourself, because then you become your own best friend. So to get rid of the loneliness, you have to lose all your self-doubt, all those times that you criticize yourself for doing the wrong thing or are afraid you'll mess up. You have to be perfectly confident in yourself, and you will not be lonely.

First, I want to say that you're amazing. You inspire me. Honestly, I want to *be* you haha. Love ya for creating this inspiring post!<br />
<br />
Here's the one piece of advice I *can* give you. When someone first told me this, it seemed like the truest thing I'd ever heard :-)<br />
<br />
You can never be lonely as long as you love yourself, because then you become your own best friend. So to get rid of the loneliness, you have to lose all your self-doubt, all those times that you criticize yourself for doing the wrong thing or are afraid you'll mess up. You have to be perfectly confident in yourself, and you will not be lonely.

Yeah I've heard of that so called experiment too. From what I can recall the second batch of infants were feed and changed but ignored by all other standards. They died. <br />
<br />
I don't think that was an actual experiment. If it was, I want to read the research paper.

To the effect of research of deprivation and depression, look up "the pit of despair" experiments . Really shows what depression and loneliness does to something, but it was very cruel and I wouldnt ever wish to see it done , Its history and it should stay that way.

I have felt almost exactly like that for alot of years. Here is what I finally found to be a solid lasting solution. <br />
<br /><br />
<br /><br />
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copy and paste either or both to your browser <br />
<br />
I apply both of these programs. It takes a little effort but only listening and reading. You wont belive til you experience the effects in just a day or two. <br />
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The Possibilities that You Can Achieve are Endless but they are Limited only by your Imagination!<br />
<br />
It will cause you to exist in a much more blissful and prosperous state of life than most people.<br />
<br />
You could achieve your most desired dreams that have been burning in your heart.<br />
You could manifest perfect health every day of your life and never live in pain.<br />
You could experience total happiness and cause the ones you love to have it too.<br />
You could be free from the system of the world and never be bound by it again.<br />
You could feel so good about yourself and your life that makes you the luckiest of all.<br />
You could be all that you wanted to be in this life and have Total Self Actualization!<br />
<br />
This is what I did experience and still am. It dont go away.

I am more to an introvert and not so adventurous like you are. Plus, i don't like being alone. I kinda envy you for being to enjoy the process of alone activities. Thanks for telling me your story, it cheers me a bit.

A gripping tale... come to think of it, I feel alone/lone sometimes. From when I was very small I had the company of books and my own fantasies. I recall spending my teenager years alone. I had a few friends, I lost them over time. Most people I call friends today I met when I was in my twenties. Most have gone, some I see sometimes.<br />
A week ago I talked to one of my friends. He told me that he felt alone too: after he started working he never made any new friends. It's the same with me.<br />
Do i get the feeling the world is falling apart?<br />
When I look around i see this pattern.. For a short moment people gain friends and then we just lose them and we never seem to gain any. <br />
You know...I think we have no friends because of the same reason more and more people don't have a relation: because we are told it has to perfect and the friends and lovers too!. Television, movies, pop culture, all tell us that friends are great buddies, who share a bond, tell each other jokes.. drink beer, go fishing. <br />
You get the feeling you have to act, to entertain, to be someone else.. and then you find you don't have any energy left for that, after a days work or tending to you kids..<br />
It remind me of the phrase: "being there". It's no longer enough to just be there..

Loneliness is something that comes and looks worse than it probably is. Sometimes is just routine. I sometimes go and do something I usually don't do, like drink a beer in a bar or start a chat with someone. Then I go lone again. It's nature for me. A way of going with some pain that I learned to stop a bit. Still sometimes I just have to break form it. I just feel the need for the outside space. Probably being "I" bores me, so I open the eyes and simply look at the outside, at nature, at people. It becomes nicer then. We just ain't the same and there is a huge space out there to walk in.

I like the way you write and understand the way you feel I used to long for someone to share my experiences with, but recently was hurt beyond comprehension, for me at least. I've started feeling maybe I'm just better off alone. I hope this isn't the case for you and you find someone to share with! check out my story if you get a chance.

Yeah I am lonely ******* myself, never shared my thoughts except with hand full of people. I live alone in my cabin that is my humble adobe, my room. Sometimes it get real boring, I am always on facebook and addiction never ceases. Until I came to this site, thought never shared with anyone, it gives me an outlet from writing. I am not a talkative American, I find it repulsive. But I cared less about my future, always paranoid. <br />
I loved that you danced to a music and left your place voluntarily, without any care for self. Sometimes it takes at lot of energy and courage to walk outside my room. Sometimes anecdotal story of ugly ducking surfaces my thought, I lived a life similar. Keep up the effort to break your boundaries of your comfortzone.

I understand your feeling. I also love doing new things and meeting new people, but I also love being at home, I feel the most comfortable in it. I guess the problem is that we're afraid of getting hurt. We know that through friends we could feel happiness, but also could feel betrayal and abandonment. I just forgot how to laugh at myself. I've been hurt too much that laughter just won't come out. I would love to know how you dealt with this problem over the years.

hey all the stories here are witten by those whose hearts remained warm though surrounded by those hearts that have turned to ice......stay warm my brothers and sisters

You're braver than I am. That's for sure. I'd be too afraid to go camping for fear of being murdered or raped. And too afraid of going to the club alone for fear of boredom or rejection. I love to dance, but it's been so long (and I have no one to dance with) that I'm not even sure I know how to anymore... I try alone in my room sometimes, but it feels weird. -_-

I'm pretty sure they've also conducted that experiment on monkeys, or some sort of animal, and the subjects that lacked nurturing, love and affection, ended up dying soon after.. makes you think.

I can relate to you as well I have always felt lonely and like I did not belong or fit in. Mom and dad divorced when I was 4. I have had a lonely life even tho there are people around. I am single, but just a couple of months ago, I found out that when my mm and dad got divorced that I stayed with him for a time and what is worse is that I do not remember any of it. I found out that my mom came and visited me, and that I started walking home after she left. I have so many questions about this whole thing. My sister who is 2 years older than me has always been abusive to me. I woke up with tons of a anxiety, and all these question came to my mind. It is so strange not not know any of what happened. I know my dad and his girlfriend both drank and fought. I am sure that my inner child was tramatized about the situation. But I am writing about it and trying to understand that that is where the anxiety is coming from. I do feel that I have been deprived emotionally all of my life, I struggle with emotions off and on, I am in recovery so no matter what I trust my God and even tho I am going through hard things, I have gone back to school and am trying to rebuild my life. But I just have a big trust issue and work with my feelings and do deep breathing, and relaxation exercises. I am thinking about going to counseling to talk about I have written about it. It was just a shock to my system when my family told me about it, something that happened to me when I was such a little girl. Thank goodness I am a survivor and resilient, I just wanted to share this with someone because it is the first time I have even shared these feelings, except to the Lord, so actually it is like doing a 5th step on this issue. Thanks for all your haring and letting me share. My heart goes out to all you that feel lonely and did nto get the love and care that you deserved. God can give us what we did not get. This I know.

You are more powerful than you realize....

A kindred spirit.

Mine was a love marriage, and nice life and husband that I could die for. Its been 6 years now. But all of sudden I have no love for him. I feel we are strangers, talk when required. It all happened when our daughter was born last year. Since then our relationship has worsen. It is not that we don't love our baby, we do very much. But our relationship has died, peacefully. I never thought we would change and anything like this will happen. I know my husband is just taking advantages of me, as I earn, and am better at a few things than him. If I was no good, and our baby was not born, we would have divorced. I also know my husband is romantically involved with a younger girl, or girls. He has the tendency of being infidel ... he is good looking, smart and apparently very intelligent and witty. These qualities attract, and he is in a job where many young girls hover around him. I don't blame him for being a traitor in love. I wish he could marry anyone else, and let me and my baby live in peace forever.

I hope you find someone that deserves you, you don't have a problem you're only misplaced as most of us are unconsciusly, some feel it and feel lonely, others disguise it and blend in to the farce.<br />
Don't ask where you belong because I don't know, obviously your quite authentic, maybe, Estonia.

one thing is The lord does stick closer than a brother and he never leaves a peson or forsakes a person.

One of the conditions of being human is the feeling of loneliness.<br />
However, you already have answers.<br />
First, deal with your brain chemistry. I recommend your start with natural things like GABA and things which assist in serotonin uptake and release.<br />
Next physical exercise helps with brain chemistry. I avoid words like bipolar and stuff like that. If you look at the literature, you will find the famous "THEM" out there are interested in making you a helpless victim of a 'dis-ease' which THEY had the cure-read life long process of opening your wallet-for you.<br />
A wonderful example of this is Acid Reflux Disease which started out as just acid reflux, but got elevated to disease because THAT is sooooo much more dramatic.<br />
Their idea of a cure is to shut of your stomach acid! Which happens to be there as a line of defense against bacteria.<br />
Acid Reflux is not a TOO MUCH ACID problem it is a TOO LITTLE ACID problem. If you add HCL Betedine which is Hydrocloric acid (stomach acid), the symptoms go away. Why? because the nerve which closes you stomach tightly needs a certain level of acid to respond. If one HCL Betadine does not work try two.<br />
So, you went and danced in the woods like no one was watching. and? you loved it.<br />
So if someone WAS watching?<br />
You went and danced by yourself at a club and was no one watching? or did you just not care?<br />
Has that club closed? Do you go back? Try going back 4 nights a week and dancing like that or be REALLY RESPONSIBLE and go back every night.<br />
Then occasionally look around. You will see a guy 'watching' you. Go over grab him by the hand and drag him kicking and screaming into paradise and dance him into the ground.<br />
I think if you went out each night and danced like that you would find your whole 'bipolar' thing is gone.<br />
now eating poorly will give you bad brain chemistry. Smoking weed too much will also disturb that chemistry. I used to LOVE to smoke, but find my brain does not like it so much anymore.<br />
I trained my mind to get high on anything that wows me. (and I am very jaded)<br />
I also find when I let go (of whatever I am attached to i.e. like 'looking for my perfect someone'), the universe delivers.<br />
So go dancing, just for the exercise and the chance to be out of the house and that you don't have to pick the music.<br />
Now being a woman, unless you are dancing in an all male gay bar, will probably find there are a few 'lonely' men out there. Notice a few have written here.<br />
Just go up and say ANYTHING. I realized years ago that people were lonely and shy (people think I am outgoing, but fact is I am very shy) I just know everyone else is as well.<br />
When I was 4 my father used to make me come into cocktail parties and meet everyone. I hated it. So he made a deal with me. First person I met who said "get out of here I don't want to talk to YOU" I could stop and NEVER have to do this again. Sounded like a great deal to me. I thought I would be maybe 5 or 6 people in and be done forever.<br />
I was 36 years old before I met that @sshole! and I reached right over his shoulder to the next person and introduced myself.<br />
You are alone because you DO what it takes to be alone.<br />
So go to the club and dance. Do it every night. I think you are going to find you will next be posting a major ***** about how ALL the men will just not leave you alone!<br />
Zip, Dragonmaster<br />
Heavenz on Earth<br />
Service, Healing & Empathy<br />
 <br />
He who rules truly serves<br />
She who serves truly rules