On My Mind Today....

I had a best friend for 4 years who was married, he was a man who knew and accepted everything about me, I wasn't shy with him like I am with anyone else because at the beginning I was not interested in anything other than friendship with him. We both separated from our spouses on and off and although he had asked me out many many times I always avoided dating him during the times we were both separated. I always knew I could count on him to talk to me, care about my life, my feelings, he was my rock. Fall of 2007 we finally began to date. It was so amazing and wonderful, I'd never felt so free with having someone love me...flaws and all. I wasn't hiding from the world or my past with him. I suddenly got bored with the relationship and paranoid of his wife who he did still care about. I pushed him away and we broke up. We remainded friends for a few days and he was still promising to wait for me and that he loved me, then he called and said that his wife wanted to try again, and get help for her problems. I encouraged him to do that because I knew it was best for him and for his children. But that was amost a year ago today and I've even remarried my ex-husband that I had divorced before I had began to date this guy. And I'm still heart broken and although I don't really want a relationship with him I really miss having my best friend, I regret dating him for the 2 months even though it was great and I finally felt loved for once in my life, I lost my best friend. That is one aspect that is weighing on me and contributing to this loneliness.