My Loneliness Got the Best of Me...

I started talking to my X (yes BIG X) again. I didn't think it was a big deal. What trouble could it lead me to, I mean we have a lot in common. Well that pralayed into casual dating. This take it slow casual dating. How could that go wrong. We are taking it slow. Slow is safe, right? Yeah no. Slow is not safe it just prolongs the inevitable fights and pain, or worse avoids them all together, and your stuck in one place indefinitely. It is horrible. I don't have any idea idea what we are doing. Apparently neither does he, because ever time I try to bring it up he says he doesn't know, he needs time. It sucks. We have been "dating" for over a month, and it is not a physical relationship at all. I spend the night, and we sleep. Maybe we cuddle a little, but that is it. Our physical relation ship was lacking before, but now it is non existent. I mean he kisses me good bye in the morning when he leaves, but that is it. On top of all that he says some awful things. Last night I mentioned that I was having a good boob day and it was obvious I was wearing a low cut dress. He said, "That's really none of my business." He made fun of my dress, I thought I looked pretty hot. Then when we were at the show and we were pretty drunk and what not. At the show they sang Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?" He says OUT LOUD "NO" Not like he was being funny more in a I'm messed up and accidently said what I was thinking out loud way. I guess it shouldn't matter as we are not having a sex. It was awful I really thought we were going to do it last night but no. I went to bed horny and disappointed. Before he left this morning I asked him to call me when he got home. He hasn't called. I even got rejected when I hinted at coming over tonight texting him I was back in the area for a meeting with some other people. He said his friend who hates me and he spends every other day of the week with was coming over--his friend is unemployed so he's got all the time in the world to spend with him Monday through Friday. I've been demoted to one day a week. Its all so strange. We have all this history, and emotion, but there are all these restrictions fear and distance like a new relationship. Plus there is none of the new relationship excitement. Its all so horrible, but I can't stop myself.

bizzarlyfabulous bizzarlyfabulous
26-30, F
2 Responses Feb 8, 2009

You have to move on like QUES30 said. I'm in a very similar situation right now and I'm kicking myself for letting him back in my life. It's been almost a week that I have ignored his calls and I have to stick to it. It is hard but harder to stay in something where the other isn't into you.

move on. hes not interested. believe me i know