Real Life?

I feel as if any time I invest any real emotion in someone, its their cue to turn their back. I am alone in the most literal sense but It feels better now than it used to. I used to spend every waking second with my group of friends, or my significant other, and It was never where I wanted to be. Every conversation felt hollow and every party got tired and every I love you just meant that I was getting closer to being left alone again. And it's happened over and over. Person after Person. So consistent. I guess I just dont understand why legitimate conversations are last priority and looking at yourself from a distance is useless. I put so much of myself into relationships that are bound to dissolve, only because I'm the only one trying. I want a real connection. I want to listen to horror stories and happy stories and love stories and tragic stories and real stories from real people who really live. I want to know someone entirely. I want to hear about someones childhood and someones future. And I want someone to care about mine too.

 

maybe I'm insane, but I want to know that someone lives and that their favorite doll when they were five still gives them a filled up feeling in the pit of their stomach.

maybe I dont make sense.

honoredreckless honoredreckless
18-21
Feb 17, 2009