Isolated and Homesick .....

I miss having friends and socializing.  I'm not American and I live in a small town in central Illinois.  It is VERY different here to what I was brought up with, in Australia everyone is so open and welcoming, I've never experienced that here.  The town is very clicky and after 7 years of trying to find a group of friends I've all but given up.  Everyone is nice to me but no one wants to know me .. now I know I'm a good person but I am different.  I'm very open minded, say what I think (within reason and always polite), don't gossip.  I think sometimes they are just unsure.  I am very comfortable with who I am but also know I'm not the most social person to begin with so this is even harder for me.  I've come to the stage in my life that I need that social contact.  I am married (to an American) and have 4 kids ... 2 of which are no longer home.  I find people very distant and after thinking about this for soooo long I'm hoping that it is simply just because I AM foreign and not just unlikable :(  Unfortunately I'm not the type of person to go to church which is something everyone does here, I'm not on the PTA .. and I'm not your typical housewife/mother/40yr old woman. 

I work at home and I know this is 50% of my problem and the other 50% I'm sure is of my location in America.  I spend almost 24/7 at home sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy.  When I do take the plunge and go out to socialize I hit the distance thing so I take a deep breathe and go outside my comfort zone and put myself out there but none of it has worked.

I guess I'm just venting here and putting my thoughts down ... but sometimes its overwhelming how lonely and homesick I truly am.

I will never give up trying to find some friends .. laughter is so good for your soul and it would be fantastic to laugh with people other than my kids and husband... I hope this doesn't sound ungrateful as I'm so very lucky to have a husband and kids like mine...

LonelyInIL LonelyInIL
36-40, F
4 Responses Feb 18, 2009

Would you believe your story made me smile. Only because I am from Miami and moved to a small town in central Illinois about a year ago. I just work up here. I have found it impossible to make friends. People are very different up here. It must be something in the water, or maybe too much corn...

Aw, sorry that my home state is not more hospitable! Maybe up closer to Chicago is friendlier... It seems to me that people like you better the more screwed up you are! I don't usually spill my guts very easily & can appear to have no issues---Oh, HA HA HA!!!! If they only KNEW----but I have definitely noticed that people love ya more the more f***ed up you are!

Aw, sorry that my home state is not more hospitable! Maybe up closer to Chicago is friendlier... It seems to me that people like you better the more screwed up you are! I don't usually spill my guts very easily & can appear to have no issues---Oh, HA HA HA!!!! If they only KNEW----but I have definitely noticed that people love ya more the more f***ed up you are!

you dont gossip? i guess thats the problem, thats a good way to make friends, its wrong, but a good way to meet people