Just Need a Friend Right Now.

I was married to a woman who was sexually abused as a teenager and did not know it untill after my son was born and she told me point blank that she did not trust men. Well, I had faith in God at the time that we could overcome this and that she would take me as her husband and father of her child and everything would be OK. The first year of our marriage was pretty good. I felt like we were friends. She used to put notes in my lunch box, call me at work.....etc. Then all of a sudden she became very stand offish. She seemed to hold me at arms length and not let me get any closer. Sex just became ME on top getting my release and she made me feel guilty afterwords. There was no communication, no holding hands, no snuggling in front of the fireplace etc...but I still had faith that one day we wolud fall in love and everything would be OK. It never happened. I began to pray, God please help us be a happy family.......it was not to bad until my son became a teenager. Life became so miserable......many times I just wanted to take him and leave. She had become so domineering. Neither my so nor myself could make a decision without HER approvall..........I am rambling, sorry.

Still lonely..

bjdeese bjdeese
51-55
1 Response Feb 24, 2009

It is painful to be in a relationship, especially marriage, where relating does not happen. I had my own experience with that, so I can empathize. I also kept hoping and believing that things would change, that my husband would realize that it wasn't meant to be the way it was between us. The truth is we had never really connected from the beginning, even though that's exactly what I had dreamt of and longed for. As painful as it is, it is still a learning experience. He and I were married for 14 years, and we were separated for the last four. Because of a young child at home at the time I really wanted to be able to pull things together, but his taking up with someone else ultimately made that impossible. Anyway, just know that others can relate to your experience and it will get better. Keep your hope in the Lord. He always has a plan for your life :)