This Life Is Getting Lonely .... and Asexual(1)

A big HI to everyone reading this. This is a quick description to start a conversation. Feel free to join in. I'll elaborate as things progress.

I'm 27 and until the age of 23, I had a lot of friends who I met with and hung out regularly. I love the warmth, honesty and outspoken'ness of them.

Then, I moved to the UK where I am now and things have gone "**** up" (as they say). I socialized in the way I knew how: joined many clubs and societies at the university. In my second year here, a person who I regarded as a friend brutally beat me up in front of almost 50 other students. No one came to my help and the investigators at the university provided me with this explanation "social problems"  I can understand how random stuff happens to us all and we are often powerless. I would also agree that that incident has in some way affected my social approaches. A lot of counselling later, I started to make more friends.

Right now, I realize that I have become more comfortable spending time by myself locked away in a house. I even feel a bit asexual when it comes to the hunt for a companion. I still get turned on by pictures of naked women so, am still a heterosexual man.

Aren't we supposed to be social beings? Does anyone else experience the same thing?

My initial hypothesis for this behaviour is the lack of sunshine and reservedness of people here. So, my 5 year plan is to head back to LA or maybe even New York.

therunningman therunningman
6 Responses Feb 25, 2009

First of all, i am a Shocked that you've been beaten soo brutally...and as for whereismyprince too, i am as much shocked that you got beaten for smiling only...o.O....<br />
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Yeah, certain people can't stand it to see others happy...:S :S :S :S But thank goodness that life is full of good peeps too...hehe :)<br />
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I think that spending time alone is a good thing...See, you get to work on the issues that are affecting your life...Do some relaxation and ponder about your life...But do not isolate yourself from the rest of the world...I understand, you've had a bad experience but be optimistic...<br />
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I suggest that you learn some martial arts for self never know it could help!! hehe<br />
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But don't give up in life and keep on living and socialising..just be careful as each and every person is different...<br />
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Cheers my friend :)<br />
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p.S - I'd like to know ur point of view on my story "more than just a friend"

Thanks therunningman! Me too! I am always smiling and laughing. I think some people just can't stand it that some people are happy! Yes, there are some really amazing people out there and thank goodness for them! I've been doing kickboxing for three years now so the next time I am smiling and someone tries to break my nose.... well..... lol!

VeronicaRose, thanks for that. If you can understand, maybe I wont be left with feelings of guilt after failing to respond with passion to a girl on my couch.

To whereismyprince! I'm so sorry about your broken nose.<br />
I know what you mean about appearing too friendly in this place. It's so natural for me to be happy. Make's me feel like an oddball when people here give me the stink eye and other apprehensive responses.<br />
Don't get me wrong. I've met some really amazing people too and will keep my self the same in case more come along.

Don't worry about feeling asexual in your present situation. You are normal and just don't have a current target for your passions. When you meet someone you care for, those feelings will return. You sound like me about being at home. After working for many years I have become a "stay at home" wife and also have found myself being less and less likely to go out. I get more to myself all the time. It's probably not psychologically healthy for either one of us. Yes, move back home where you'll feel more comfortable.

Awww!!! I know how you feel. I returned back to the UK after being away for a long time and remember one night out at the pub with some friends. Needless to say I got my nose broken for smiling, yes... smiling! I think its more of a cultural thing here and it took me a long time to get over it, even when I am out and about these days I worry continously that if I am "too friendly" I may have the same experience. Hang in there! It takes a while to make good, decent and moral friends.