I hate myself because I don't have the guts to kill myself. I just want to end it all. Everyone would be happier without me anyways. I have no purpose here. There's no point of me being here. I'm always going to be alone and I'm never going to be happy. Every night I wish was the night that I finally kill myself but I just can't go through with it.
Bitterrsweet Bitterrsweet
18-21, F
37 Responses Aug 17, 2014

Normal thoughts, but like everyone says, it's just a phase. Music and poetry got me in touch with my dark side and I've been in control ever since. If all else fails, get a puppy ;)

Thank you

Ive been through same things, be strong..Wish you the best:)

Talk to me if you like

People can and do represent themselves as other than who they really are

Shut the HELL UP ! You haven't yet live threw the age of 60. Your life will get better ! God wouldn't give you this life if he knew that you couldn't handle it. Just bare with it, stop battering on your emotions, instead take the advantage of your downs and turn it to a up.

Y would u yell at her when ur name is lonelyob

Yeah, soo ...what?? ....even though I be having my ups and downs, in life. I will always know that I can depend on God. But Amway She talking about killing herself???? That! Don't concern my username...! I just hate ungrateful people, that will...throw them...life away.

Look I don't want her to kill herself but being mad won't solve anything!!!

When I read things like this, it breaks my heart. I've felt this way once, and it isn't fair. I would do anything to help you feel differently. Like send you a basket of kittens.<br />
......<br />
Know that there are thousands of people who want to help you. Please find the courage to talk to someone (a trusted friend, family, or a therapist). You can change these feelings, and your future, too.<br />
......<br />
If it helps, feel free to message me. I can talk with you, too.

Thank you and I don't have anyone around me I can really turn too

Well I see that 9 people have responded to your post. I'm number10. See if we stopped long enough to visit and we've never met you perhaps your underestimating yourself. Possibly your listening to too many negative people. It's a lot easier for me to talk trash then get off my butt and do something positive about what I find so easy to criticize. Ever tried getting involved with something that challenges you. Ever take the time to think about what challenges you. We can all stop by and chat a bit but in the end my day is crustified dog droppings if I don't have the willingness to follow through on all the things that my own personnel fears told me I would fail at. So what if you or I or the world fails at something we never tried. Well I hope I would learn from that effort and my next effort we'll be a success because of the learned failures of the past. I hope you get past this rough patch. Life can seem dark,but then someone turns on a switch and I'm at a surprise party. Please don't let apparences and dark thoughts deceive you. They can kill.

Everyone has a purpose and you just have not found your's yet. Patience and persistence will win the day.

Thank you

It may feel you have no purpose but I bet you mean something to somebody,,, purpose will come,,,, stay strong

Thank you

Can i be with you?

yes seriously,try to help her Dude

Doing my best just wish me luck Dude

No

Why not?i promise to make u happy give u much love and treat you right.

Stop being a creep

Creep?Just want to make u be happy and with me u will never feel lonely anymore.

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I don't know u but sure someone out there would cry for u for days I'm sorry u want to kill yourself but just try to remember that you are beautiful and u will find love and happiness some day. Look up the poem to this day.

Thanks

Thank you

my friend just tried to kill herself yesterday. Her dad spend her college funds on some cheap hooker. She was kicked out of school. so she took pills, a lot of them, but she didn't die. now she is still in the hospital doctors said it will took months to recover. She told me the pain was unbearable and it was the worst thing she could do.

Aw that's horrible

yeah really horrible but now she values her life a lot more. I hope that you wouldn't do anything stupid because even though you don't know it, there are still people who care about you.

learn to respect life and be grateful for your good health and everything you have. do not whine about every lil things and make it a reason to end your precious life. 100's of people would love to be in your shoes.

That's why I want to kill myself most times because I feel that I don't deserve to be here and someone else should have my life

Ungrateful PoS.

You shouldn't hate yourself. You do have a purpose; you just haven't found it yet, but you will. I think you need to believe in yourself. Someday you will realize you do have a purpose!

I really hope so !

This breaks my heart. I'm always happy to listen. I ask questions about the things I'm told so I understand better. I'm here if you'd like someone to talk to.

Thank you

They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.. so far it seems to be working, albeit at a very slow pace...

Please don't :'( I was there once and now I'm better the ever. You can talk to me whenever you want.

Honestly i am glad you do not have the guts to kill yourself..life is too short...please live happy

life is short make it sweet

I try

Same here. Then I still brush my teeth in the morning, for some reason, just not at night.
it's like, why should I brush my teeth, don't eve want to sleep or wake up again.

Aw

You're so young. I know for a fact that you aren't the only one that feels this way, because I've been where you have been. Truly, and I know that it sucks. I don't know if it will help, but I found that I was able to maintain at least some level of happiness simply by focusing on all the good now (something as simple a weather, or listening to some awesome music) instead of overloading myself with the things in my life that aren't up to expectations. Don't give up!! Life has so much great things to offer (seriously), just give it a chance, please?

Can I give you a tight hug?

And I really need a hug at this time

here it is

Aww so nice of u ...

you are always welcome

hey guys I need I hug pls. I didn't have a good day :(

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Not only u r suffering through this all ... there are thousand of people living life like this .... Dont lose hope find reason to live this life

You better at least read these things you have no idea what triggered in other peoples mind as soon as they saw this post. People don't just like hearing about this things it hurts us when we hear another person is going through this.

Hello.

I hope you take the time to read this. I'm not going to try to tell you that life will get better and this is only a temporary feeling. The truth is, I battle these thoughts every day. Every morning I have to tell myself that I will wait one more day, as I have been doing for the past 10 years. But I'm like you in the way that I don't have the guts to actually do anything about it.

Life is hard. And you feel as if it just isn't worth living. Everyone tells you to just give it a chance. It will get better. Some people don't understand the dark black hole you live in. I am only speculating how I believe you feel, because I am obviously not you. But I ask of you, what brought it on. I know that it's an accumulation of everything combined, but what I mean is, what brought it on that you would write about it on here when you did?

I won't tell you that the sun will start shining and birds will start singing. But I will tell you that there are some days that I don't want to do it as much, and I find that those days, even if they are few and far between are the ones that I have started to look forward to.

Please, if you ever want to talk to someone, message me. I can't promise my responses will be prompt or what you want to hear, but I will do my best to try to talk to you. I want to be for you what I wish someone had been for me.

~ Bribles

I just get really depressed and lonely to the point where I want to just die

Even if that is true that you have no purpose does it matter? I recently got up from depression and I realized even if we have no purpose does it really matter wether I should live or not. And I came to a conclusion that if I don't have any use in the world I can still enjoy things in it. Personally I like Panda Express a **** load lol I also like the how it's made channel a lot. Doing these things will help the world in no way and most importantly effect it in any way. So in that case why not do things I like. I'm not here to sweet talk to you I'm just trying to show you real life not the fairtytale of what it's suppose to be. I use to think why the **** am I still here. I still do but at least now I'm not sitting around thinking about stuff and feeling worse than usual. I look for things to do like going to eat my favorite Panda Express combo or going to mcdonalds for a ice cream cone. Or watch buzzfeed videos on YouTube. What are some things you like to eat or watch

Thank you I appreciate the fatherly

you might be feeling a little depressed,now have a go at doing some volentery work with adults/children who have learning and severe learning disabilities,maybe even get a job working with them,might just make you realise you have a purpose and earn some money in job that can be challenging but rewarding.

idk where there is a place like that here

Hey Bitterrsweet, There is nothing I can really just tell you to make you feel better or to get you to think differently. I have been there and I can tell you it is a phase in life. so many do feel that way and it will pass and then come back then pass. most of us work through it and cherish the good times and try to focus on them good times when the blues sneak in again. You are still very young and I know you dont want to hear that but you are and life has a lot of wonderful and depressing things still. Both shape us and we respond to others as we get older. I hope this helped even a little bit to make you think that it is not over and you still have things to experience in your life that is worth fighting for.

Thank you

get a knife from the kitchen and just cut yourself until you bleed to death. If you can't do that, just go outside and talk to the first person you see and SMILE!

She came here for help not advice to follow through on her issue.

People get unhappy and depressed now a days because of all the Wifi and mobile phone radiation. It is there 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, even when you sleep. It is scientifically proven that it has a bad effect on your level of relaxation, happiness and energy level.
Go out to a place where there is at least no Wifi radiation, and less or no mobile phone radiation. Just stay there for at least 5 hours, and than you will see you feel happier, more relaxed and you will have a completely different much happier mood and happier thoughts.
I am serious, don't just believe me and just try and do it and see for yourself if it is true or not!!!

I'll try it but I don't think it's that

Maybe you are ment to live that's why you can't do it I think you do have meaning (:

Yeah maybe , it's hard

I see people aren't being too understanding of this. It sounds like you have depression and you over think everything ultimately leading you in a spiral downhill which is where it seems you are now. First off, killing yourself will not solve your problems at all. Think about if you actually did. Take a second and think. Think about the hurt you would to your family. Losing someone the way you are intending to do to yourself, is the most hurtful way anyone could inflict to the people who actually do care about you. You do have a purpose here, and there are people that love, and care for you. You know, I can say I've been through hell in my life, and you know what? I'm here, stronger and better than the person I was yesterday. Change your attitude. Wake up with good intentions, and aim to be BETTER than the person you were yesterday.

Atleast you're still alive.

Let's just calm the **** down

LMAO ! you would be that much of a ****** and like your own comment how PATHETIC !

Yes I would but why not it got someone's attention.

Here I'll do it again

Not very original are you?
If I had a cent for every silly teenager I heard saying that, Id be a millionaire! And for someone who nearly died twice, and lost a lot of family and good friend through a horrid disease called cancer, that you might have heard of,
no, you don't want to die. Just like my daughter who tried to take her own life when she was 22! Do you want me to ask her what she would say to you?
So do yourself a big favour! Go and get a life!!!! You have a lifetimes worth ahead of you!
With respect, Pat x

why does it matter what other people would feel with or without you? just live your own damn life for your own happiness. don't depend on someone coming to save you either. it all depends on you.

How am I suppose to do that ?

for starters, just continue to live. live and learn how to love yourself. I feel like disappearing from this world so many times in the past, but the more BS I run into, the more I learn to love myself. life isn't forever, so might as well get what you can out of it while it lasts. get a good career for yourself if you haven't already, pick up new hobbies that you enjoy, etc,.. just do whatever it is that makes it worth living.

Thank you blackwolf47 I appreciate your advice

Set some goals for your life and if you dont wanna do anything for your life...do something for others. So many things in life to do.

Yes...I agree with you...I dont know why people are so helpless and dependent on anyone.

Excuse u I do have goals and I'm not dependent on anyone

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Really..funny...why the hell you want to kill yourself ? Are you a coward ?

I think lazy and coward people think like tthat only.

I think so too. I want to kill myself sometimes just to stop suffering in this world, but I just can't go through with it. I am not a coward. life is short, so might as well have some fun while I can. death sounds boring.

Man...I know the depression ... and i have gone thru it but it doesnt mean...you just think about to kill yourself.... Its a disease and can be treated so whats the point to kill yourself like a coward.

Death is exciting haven't you seen movies?

Aye ***** You Calm Your Dark **** The **** Down !

Keep your nasty comments to your self . Or else I will make you shut the **** up

Don't give the girl who posted this a hard time . she ain't a coward And no one cares what your Faget *** thinks

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Everyone feels the same as you are now at some point of time but don't decide what to do now. Take some time rewind yourself and see.

See what ?