I spoke to a friend today, who I haven’t spoken to in a while. She asked “How are you?” and I really didn’t know how to respond.

How am I?

My closest family is eleven hours away, but even in person, my family is distant. I’m not the kind of person who has many friends - I’ve felt misunderstood for most of my life by all but a few people who have got close to me. A year ago I moved into a house with my best friend. A month ago we had a falling out that has me looking for a new place to move into, and has left our friendship in ruins. So, my “best friend” was someone who didn’t really care that much about me at all. Another friend, who I’ve had a secret crush on for a while, recently replied to an invite saying that she’s been seeing a guy who she really likes. There goes another friend, but at least I won’t feel frustrated after every time I see her. 2 weeks ago I asked an acquaintance out on a date. She said that it would be cool to hang out, but only as friends. I asked her how she knew this when she doesn’t know me. She said she’s just not attracted to me in that way. I don’t understand how you can know you’re not attracted to someone when you haven’t even had a conversation with them. I felt stupid for even thinking she would be interested.

I’m isolated, alone. It’s been over 2 months since I had sex, and over 6 since I made love. I haven’t had a hug in I don’t know how long. It’s the closeness, the togetherness that I miss the most…
Iamhere4me Iamhere4me
36-40, M
1 Response Aug 19, 2014

I look at what you wrote differently. You had endured a marriage to someone who didn't value you or what you had to offer. That fortunately ended. The last thing you want now is a relationship with someone else who doesn't value you. Good riddance to those who don't care. Be true to yourself and someone who really cares for the qualities you possess will be attracted to you.

Thanks SK. I keep telling myself that the right one will come along.
I hope I'm right lol.