Spend most of my time alone. I often feel as thought there is no one that I can talk to or no one will understand. I have a boyfriend but he is always on his computer or playing video games or with his friends. We hardly do anything together and we never go places, been together for 5 and a half years and have never been on vacation. My biggest problem with this is that he can go and do things or go places with his friends and won't with me. Also it's not like he dosent have money he just blows it on other stuff. I feel so left out and don't understand why he wants to be with me if he is just going to ignore me. I mean we talk and stuff and I love him but I just feel under appreciated I guess. I tried moving out for a bit and was extremely unhappy and I am unhappy at times here. Not sure if it's my depression or something else.
maggiemae89 maggiemae89
26-30, F
10 Responses Aug 19, 2014

He's using you because you love him. Love the world and make friends. Take up gym classes. He'll soon pay more attention to you. Then you can either leave him or stay with the loser.

Yea you may be so. I can't do gym, I have a hurt foot.. but I am working on eating better to look better. I hope so but probably not.

care to cheat?

No thanks. I could never do that. I think cheating is one of the lowest things someone can do.

I will say as it is and its right the boyfriend should pay more attention but at the same time depression is a selfish illness it makes you needy and it makes you want to have someone with you 24 seven not saying what you said was wrong though Darren would advise this if you're ever thinking of a relationship when depressed and say get out of it first because you feel lonely and you feel trapped seeing you feel like things are going wrong then you blame yourself and is a vicious circle and it will cause
Problems with relationships if you want me to be honest I'd say get out the relationship sort yourself out get your head straight go for what you want whatever that may be in life

I don't thing depression is a selfish illness. Because of it I keep everything inside and don't make my feelings known to him. Honestly I don't wanna spend 24/7 with him but when I have to bribe him to hang out with me for an hour a day that's just ridiculous. I have actually always had depression and learned alot on my own to take care of it and tone it down. I don't feel lonely all the time either, I like being by myself... what hurts is when I ask him to do something and he says he's busy playing a game and then his friends come over and he will get off his computer for them. Which I think anyone ,depressed or not, would have a problem with.

Like I said you weren't wrong in how you felt the reason why I say why depression is a selfish condition not because I'm saying you need to spend all your time with him but the fact when your alone you need to be be busy 24/7 not to feel down

Just to keep my mind busy. And its not him that has to keep me busy. So I really don't see the selfishness in it I guess.

I'm not sure how long you had depression had it for thirty years though you never 100 per cent get rid of it I've been a lot better the last three years so I have had experience from it I'm not saying anything other than that and I never once digged at you all I was saying was what I said and I was agreeing with you about him not being agood boyfriend nothing less

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Girl you sound like you would be an awesome gf
You need a better bf he should treat you way better.
Never settle for less. No matter what.
You might be unhappy if you moved out but I think it be way better.

You deserve someone way better :3
Feel free to message me I'm a good listener I'm sorry I said all that I just Don't like it when girls are with such ****** guys

Yea i know. :/ and i appreciate that. I always think guys should treat girls better yet put up with it myself.

No I understand, it's hard to leave someone cause they might change ... Or sometimes it's just hard cause what if it will be awhile before someone else comes along..
But yes follow your advice! I believe soon you can do it :)
Cause really a girl like you could get someone better !

If I was u, I'll leave him already! He's like my friend's bf! He only take my friend as gf cuz he's showing that he can get a girl too! Makes me angry! U deserve better than this! Message if any help is needed. :)

Thanks I appreciate it. :) sometimes I think that's what it is but idk. It's just hard to tell

Hmm ok hope ur ok! :)

No, you have every right to feel how you feel. He needs to pay attention to his other half. You should be the most important person in his life. Now this does not mean that he is to neglect his friends. He must be a man and balance both but make sure that you are always taken care of. Tell him how you are feeling. Relationships are based on communication, love and understanding. Remind him of why you are important. :)

Oh I've tried. He just never seems things from my point of view. I am a girl that speaks her mind he is just stubborn.

Oh no. :( Then I think if he wont listen and will not care for your needs, you have to make a very difficult decision. Keep feeling this way with him or leave and heal yourself so you may start once again. I know you don't wish to leave him because of how you feel but you also can't keep going the way it is either. I hope you are able to solve your problem with him. HUG

I know. It's a very difficult situation. It seems so obvious but.. its tougher then that.

I know it is. I can't let go of someone I love with every beat of my heart even though I know that I must. So I can just imagine how you must feel.

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maybe you should tune him out until he appreciates you more. thats what i would do. i understand your loneliness.

Ive thought about it but I am afraid he wouldn't notice.

Tell him. Let him know you're hurting without placing a ton of blame. If he doesn't know he can't help. If he does he needs to be made aware of how serious this is to you. Find things the two of you can do and enjoy and try suggesting them.

Oh god have I tried. I am not the girl that keeps everything inside but after awhile of feeling ignore it's like why bother? I have made many suggestions and always feel it's not something he wants to do or costs to much money in his eyes. I just can't win

Sounds like you already know what to do. Do it. Do you have a support system irl?

Not really. I tried once and was misserable. I want to be with him, I just want things to change.

Is he your boyfriend or your only friend?

He is my boyfriend. I have a few friends. I just don't like going out with them much...

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Why dont you go out with him and his friends?

I do when they actually go out. But usually they stay at my house and play a card game that I don't play. I've tried to join them but I am not as good and I don't find it super fun. I have even just sat out there with them while they play and all they do is speak about the game. And when he went to an amusement park without me it was because he was 6 hours away and helping a family member move and I was unable to go because of work.

Maybe you should talk to him and tell him how you feel. Thats he is taking you for granted. He might just change.

Ive said things of the sort but he pays the bills and I know wouldn't see things that way

Well good luck. If you need to vent im here.

Appreciate it. :) same

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I'm a good listener if u wanna talk

Sure

how are you I see you are going through a rough patch hope it gets better.

I am. I hope so too. I am okay. You?

yes super happy I'm back home in mobile Alabama I moved back from Tennessee found job I like bought car after not having one since last September

Oh wow. Good for you. :) that's awesome

yourself u feeling better

Yea a little bit thanks.

well nice talking with you I gotta go to sleep got busy day at work tomorrow

Mmkay. You too. Night

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