So I am a really easy to get along with, friendly person. I meet a lot of people everywhere I go and always leave a great first impression, but I kinda hit a dead end after that, it is as though I loose personality after that. I feel like I'm never able to keep a true friend. People love me and I feel loved, but how is it I still feel lonely. Why does it always feel like no matter the changes you make in your life, you still remain empty. Like I could achieve my dreams and would still probably feel terribly sad and lonely. How do I change this feeling?
LonelyAsAllHell LonelyAsAllHell
26-30, F
9 Responses Aug 20, 2014

Can't nobody Love You
More than you Love yourself
And as long as i've got my one good friend
I Don't need nobody else

Keb'mo

Thank you so much for all the advise guys, I am definitely taking what you saying and going to try instill some of the things mentioned into the way to find the right people out there. I guess a lot of the difficulty comes with me constantly moving from my home country to my host country, being back and forth and indecisive about where my heart truly lies. Right now I am a aupair, and I am back in my host country away from all the people I grew up with. It's difficult being out here on your own, I have to force myself to get out there and allow people into my life, I agree I have def built up a wall.

First off you need to learn to be happy alone, sounds crazy but if you can't feel happy alone you can't be truly happy around other people.

Second I get where you are coming from, people generally like me and I make good (albeit often comedic) first impressions but it seems that after that most get spooked, in my case this is because I am one of those people who can en-trance others; if I am happy everyone is happy sort of deal my moods are simply infectious.
Side note: this would be great if I was in politics, but I value my hair too much to do that.

People meet you they like you but after that they seem spooked of you, you have friends but you feel like the fallback, and even in a group setting you feel like you do not belong not completely right?

You get a group of friends but you don't feel like they are that close to you, it is horrible and it sucks but as I said they key to changing that feeling is learning to be happy alone.

The interesting thing is once you can do that you will be able to notice what "friends" are good and which ones are toxic vampiric pit vipers out to steal your soul and life and eat the last cookie in the cookie jar the fiends!

This will allow you to cut the toxic ones and grow closer to the positive ones, it will also help you read other people far better and figure out why they don't stay.

I hope I helped.

I'm going to be honest. I have always battled the exact same thing. I am friendly, easy to get along with, very funny, I could go on& on. I can have friends but but not any close ones. It's weird because I have gotten my degree,born on a island, I speak different languages, thinking maybe that will appeal more to people of being better friends nd nothing! So I know exactly how you feel. My advice is to be friends with people with who understands you the best. I am looking for friends myself ..I only have one friend right now and he just met someone SO you can imagine he is NOT all the way available! I would want that kind of friendship where I have a friend that's there no matter what & the same in voice versa

I don't know. There's not enough information here to be able to answer your question with any certainty, but one possibility is that maybe you put up a wall around yourself that never lets people get close. Maybe you avoid showing pain, or showing weakness, or being angry at people. Maybe in some way or another, you avoid showing huge parts of yourself to anyone, even the people who you're close to in other ways - and that keeps you from having the sort of deep-closeness that can be so fulfilling.

What do you think of yourself? Do you take time out of your day to indulge yourself? Bubble baths, massages, a calm evening every now and then?

Maybe you need a deep connection with someone?
Anyhow i know how you feel, i can get people to like me and if you'd ask my friends they'd say "he's a nice guy" but i have trouble getting past that part, i don't know how to make a deep, fulfilling connection.

Be more open to that person u feel comfortable with you will be surprised how it makes you feel opening up and this can lead to a closer bond with them.

I feel the same way.

Lol sounds weird but makes me a lil happy to have confirmation I'm not the only one :) thank you :)

anytime :) but a bit of advice from me, I would try having like a heart to heart with a new friend and just put yourself out there if you think you could and maybe that would break down a wall for you.