I found my fathers will today
I am not even listed as a family member In it...
What's the point of being here if they don't even count me as family. I love them with all my being but apparently to them I'm just here...
Run away or kill myself with his .45
Thinking which would hurt more
bradman1390 bradman1390
26-30, M
7 Responses Aug 22, 2014

Why does your life depend one whether or not someone else decides to keep you in theirs?

I just though I mattered more ya know. They don't have any idea how much they matter to me. But I know exactly how much I matter to them.

Well there's your problem. They don't know how much they matter to you so why should you matter to them. For all you know they think you don't care.

Um... ask him...
So what if you **** him off during the discussion?!
What's he going to do? .... Take you out of his will?

The people who've failed are them - not you.

How do you figure? And I ****** up a good portion of my life. If it wasent for them I wouldent have even be able to get out of the whole I dug for myself. They are still helping me

Do you get how screwed up it is to not even list your own son as a family member in your will? It takes a twisted person to do something like that. It's like him saying "you're nothing to me son. You're dirt. You don't even exist." You were a kid - kids screw up, especially when they're growing up in the shadow of a family who don't give a damn about you - with the kind of father who's so screwed up that he wouldn't even list you as a family member in his will. ANYONE your age would **** up their life and lash out in the midst of that.

I'm glad someone understands
I try to be a man and not need him or his money
But it hurts

I'm also his only biological child with my mom. I carry his name. And I love my little sister to death but she's adopted. I know that dosent mean anything i would do anything for her. But idk I just dident think I would be left out like that.

It's like the story of the deer who gave the scorpion a ride across the river. Half way across the river, the scorpion stings the deer, drowning them both. As they're sinking beneath the water, the deer asks the scorpion "why the hell did you sting me - now we're both going to drown." And the scorpion says "because it's in my nature."

No one's surprised when a scorpion stings them or a snake bites them, and yet we keep getting surprised when toxic people do the same stupid, destructive, senseless bullshit over and over again. Your dad's a snake. He's going to do the same toxic things, and see you in the same twisted way, and he's going to keep doing it - because it's who he is.

2 More Responses

Hey dude when was the will written? Maybe you weren't born yet. The term per stripes appear in it anywhere ?

Not that I saw it was a pretty think packet. But it was written recently they don't know I can get into there safe. And it wasent there two weeks ago

I don't know what the rift is all about. But they're still alive and things can change. It's insulting for sure but can't count on inheritance. Never know what happens anyway. A health crisis in later years can wipe everything out anyway.
As for the insult you're gonna have to deal. Get out her your own life and show them what you're made of. No better revenge

He just blames everything bad that has happend in the last 23 years of life on me. And if I could I would. But I just can't see ever being as successful as he was anyways. And I don't wanna struggle all of life. I'll prolly be alone already. I don't want to be alone and never get tondo anything that I've ever wanted to do. My family is so wasteful with money. It's disgusting. I know I dident earn it but my sister has already got inheritance from my grandfather. And he's getting my dad's business any everything. I could be happy with so much less then my mom or sister could. But nothing. Nothing. Espicially when I was a child id go to work with him and he showed me bank statements and said one day it would all be mine cause I was his son. Idk wtf happend to all that.

I'll tell you something. Life doesn't go as planned. You think you have it figured out and then another twist is thrown your way.
You know you're not to blame for everything. Remove yourself and he'll just have to blame someone else.
Success is what you make it. It also takes time. And from the looks of things is your only option. Just make strives for your independence and not have to count on anyone.
My father said something that pissed me off years ago. "The only person you can count on is yourself". I've spend decades trying to prove him wrong. He's dead and gone now and I still haven't proven him wrong.

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Dont run away or kill yourself. You want to make them reconsider their thoughts on you, then be all you can be. Work hard, love life, show them you can stand on your own two feet. Make them see you have it all without needing them.

But I don't, I'm 23 and I just moved back in with them last feb cause I ****** up everything I had done on my own

I think this may be the worlds way of saying here is your clean slate. Write anything you want. It's all yours now. Corny perhaps but this could be a good thing.

WELL, I don't think you should let that bother you.
You need to keep on going like you're the boss and don't need them. You might have your own family one day, and most apparently you know how it feels to be lonely , so uh, in my logic I believe that gives you the ability to make a very unlonely, happy family in the future if you'd like that. And stuff...

Is your father dead yet? Maybe that's an unfinished will :0

No he's alive but I have the code to thier save and it is a newly added item, according to the dates and who signed it as witness ness it's something he's been working on latley. His 70 bday is sept 23. He left everything to my mom and little sister. And my little sister already got 30% of my grandfathers estate while is six figures easily.

When he's gone my mother and sister will prolly never have to work a day In their lives. My mother already Hasent worked in the 23 yrs I've been alive and my sister(17) has never had a job either. I got my first job at 15 and have had many many since.

I'm 17 and work like a slave to support myself so my single mother doesn't have to stress out about providing for me. I'm a bit stunned and I do agree you got the short end.
But it's a **** world and you know it.
You just have to think a little and be strong. If you truly believe they don't think of you as family you need to know that that's okay. Family doesn't keep your heart beating and your blood pumping. You do.
If it bothers you to great extent and you believe your fathers time is coming to an end, bring it up to him. Don't be ashamed to admit you went through the safe , because you've got nothing to lose as you've made it clear.

I am brad