A letter to the dead

I wonder if the dead looks down on me. And maybe understands me better then my own family, my friends, or even myself. You probably know I hate myself. And hold everything in.
And you probably see me when I'm hiding in the bathroom, mid break down. Im so repulsed by myself and the fact that you know this now.
I'm so sorry that I'm not anything to be proud of. And I'm sorry that my "good days" are when I sleep all day to forget everything.
I wish I had such a good impact on people's lives like you did. I wish I was a good person like you.
I miss you. And I wish I could be more like you in every way.

(Sorry for grammar errors. I just wrote this down from the top of my head)
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Aug 22, 2014