Not Even Married For One Year...

**Warning before you read: this has some slightly mature content to it.**

 

My husband and I haven't even been married for one year, and I am already lonely.  I guess I was lonely before the wedding, but now that the "sparkle"stage is wearing off for him, I guess I am not very interesting anymore...I found out a few months ago (after the wedding) that he is physically attracted to guys as well as women, and at first, was totally ok with it, even kind of into it.  But lately he is spending more time with the computer looking at different sites relating to homosexual escapades (****, chat, etc) that I am missing him.  I originally told him it was ok for him to look, and that if he wanted to experiment to tell me and we could get something going, and originally, he included me in everything, which was basically just looking at the stuff online and renting movies, buying a few new toys, etc.  But more and more he is doing this on his own.  If it was simply a physical thing, I would still be sad, but not as much...he is spending so much time looking at all of this stuff that he doesn't want me, and doesn't really come in to snuggle or talk until I am in bed.  I know that he is losing interest in me because yesterday, I came home and really wanted some "play time," or at least just some snuggle time, but he said he'd spent all day in bed "sleeping" and was in the mood to work around the house (which I never can get him to do any other time).  I found evidence that he'd been doing his internet thing before I'd gotten home.  Later, I went to get my daughter from school, and when I came home, I noticed that a dvd we'd gotten in the mail before I left was not in it's case...so much for not being in the mood, eh?  As soon as I left, he was in the mood...just not for me.  And of course, that evening, after we'd all settled down, he was just "not into it."

I just want my husband back...the one who always was in the mood for me, the one I was good enough for...I feel horrible because today I was thinking of finding an internet "friend" to talk to.  Nothing actually physical, but someone to give me the emotional connection I need.  But that is wrong, and plus I am afraid I will want to take it further, and I don't want to ruin our marriage...I want to fix it.  Has anyone else had this happen to them?

kitty7 kitty7
26-30, F
2 Responses Mar 5, 2009

Why are there so many people that dont appreciate what they have?

i know what you mean about just want to cuddel it seems like my wife got her own life now and i am not in it