i think my loneliness stems from my natural mistrust of everyone. i've had many friendships that ended badly (high school drama), so i put up walls around myself to protect me from getting hurt again. now, i just can't let people get close to me. as a defense mechanism, i automatically find faults in anyone who could possibly be a friend, so that I'M the one who doesn't wanna be friends, not them. i'm just way too scared to take the risk and reach out to anyone, because i'm tired of having my heart broken by so-called friends. and in the end, i'm the one who's screwed, because now i don't have anyone besides my boyfriend to talk to.

bouncyinlowgravity bouncyinlowgravity
1 Response Mar 15, 2009

I know how you feel, I'm told a lot of the time that I have a wall up. When I decided to take it down over 5 years ago, someone took my heart and stomped all over it. Now it's back up bigger and stronger. And you are right, we are the ones that misses out.