Is There Something Wrong With Me??

hey there.imm a 19 year old girl. I have a feeling that I`m battling from milk depression but my family doesn`t seem to take me seriously and might have an impressio that I have an atittude problem. I feel lonely because I don`t go out much and thus I do not meet many new people. I come from a family where moral values are important and going out at night with friends are prohibited. I am fairly attractive but I am not popular because of my reserved nature and it  makes me frustrated when people say that I am reserved and do not talk much and my mum agrees with them but she does not understand that she`s one of the reason I`m restricting myself to having a social life as she thinks that I`m not old enough to have a boyfriend and she thinks that mixing with many people might end me up in some sort of trouble. My dad passed away when I was 10 and my mum, sis and I had to move in with my grandparents who are vey strict as well. My sister has a bf of 2 years who she`s happy with and she gets to go out with him with my mom`s permission. I do not have a boyfriend because I am very afraid that my mum would not like him and would critisize him. I dress well and take good care of my personality and my mum thinks that I`m high maintenance. she tells many people that I dont` like guys and that is so not true. My sister has many friends and goes out with them often. I`m pretty good in my studies and aspires to be medical doctor someday but strangers keep telling me to talk more if I`m gonna be a doctor which is an irony because I actually do talk alot only to people whom I know. I feel very lonely as during college days I dont go out with many people and I used to hang out with a small group of friends only. In class I am quiet as I do not want to be reprimanded for being loud and distracting. I am trying to change myself but I find it hard because its an inner battle I have been trying to deal with for the past 19 years of my life. Sometimes I think maybe there`s something wrong with me and the reason that I don`t have many friends it that I dun smoke, drink, or even go clubbing because those things are prohibitions in my life. my social life`s a wreck and that makes me sad. should I change??

angelscrytoo angelscrytoo
18-21
1 Response Mar 16, 2009

There is nohing wrong with you, you sound lovely. Sounds like maybe your mother is smothering you a bit as she loves you but maybe she is scared? At 19 should you have a bit more independence? Maybe your college runs a confidence building or assertiveness course? Or, please don't laugh, amateur dramatics is a great way to make friends, express yourself, have fun etc. is the a club at your college? Any club activity might help - have you a buddy who might join something with you?