Lonely Father

My longest relationship was with my ex-wife.  We have been divorced for about 10 years now.  I basically had 2 relationships since then and they average 6 months in length.  The shifts I work are 12 hours long every weekend.  I have to stay at home the other nights to watch my daughter.  That makes it hard to get out.  I have browsed a few online dating sites but nothing there gets my attention.  I am either at work or home; one of the two places.  I have been lonely for quite some time now.

So, I came across this site and thought I would join.  Roughly my life in a nutshell.

RJ74 RJ74
31-35
2 Responses Mar 21, 2009

People.<br />
<br />
I have come to the conclusion, no matter how hard you try or what you do for them, in the end, they will almost all disappoint. <br />
<br />
I put in almost 40 selfless years only to be cut off for simply being a real person, not someone with position, a fancy car or home, just a damn good father, husband, and unconditional friend, yet it seems my shallow superficial wife and two children who all live in the lap of luxury directly related to my efforts, were embarrassed by who I am.<br />
<br />
The peace of children in their bed<br />
Denies the fears in their fathers head<br />
<br />
He must provide he must not fail<br />
His children must through their lives sail<br />
<br />
It's up to him to pave the way<br />
His deepest thoughts he can't convey<br />
<br />
For deep within a fathers mind<br />
Despite his efforts to be kind<br />
<br />
Are doubts and fears beyond compare<br />
For his little children sleeping there<br />
<br />
They'll never know how hard it's been<br />
To protect them from the unforeseen<br />
<br />
Their lives will leave them unaware<br />
Of the stress involved in a fathers care<br />
<br />
Of his sleepless nights his constant fears<br />
Of his powerful love and joyful tears<br />
<br />
As he watched them sleeping safe and sound<br />
With no one to threaten or their lives confound<br />
<br />
As they grow and develop and each achieves<br />
He carefully informs but never deceives <br />
<br />
These two will remain intact and complete<br />
Their dad won't let evil ever defeat<br />
<br />
The care and protection he's there to provide<br />
No one can push a real father aside<br />
<br />
But as they do his children will grow<br />
And the lives he provides them will never show<br />
<br />
How hard he tried against impossible odds<br />
To spare their backs from life's painful rods<br />
<br />
In their ignorance his children will most likely condemn<br />
The enormous efforts he’s made for them<br />
<br />
For how can they know a life different to theirs?<br />
Unless one of them actually looks and compares<br />
<br />
Their father’s pathway and his life<br />
Before he made their Mother his wife<br />
<br />
The children came first from then you see<br />
There's no room for selfish in his family<br />
<br />
By hook or by crook their dreams all came true<br />
Their father kept working he knew what to do<br />
<br />
His children will never be living his life<br />
Trying so hard for their husband or wife<br />
<br />
Life must be different for his children you see<br />
"I don't want my children living like me"<br />
<br />
It must be accepted sometimes kids fall<br />
That's when a father needs only a call<br />
<br />
Always there to lend a hand<br />
Making a cubby or playing with sand<br />
<br />
A joyful, carefree, happy life<br />
That's all he wants for his children and wife.<br />
<br />
Yet here he sits alone and confused<br />
His efforts all wasted completely abused<br />
<br />
No one comes near yet he's done no wrong<br />
What are they thinking, he's been so strong<br />
<br />
Look at their lives can't any of them see<br />
Without his efforts where they might be<br />
<br />
Cleaning an office or loading a truck<br />
None of them ever down on their luck<br />
<br />
All they’ve known has been only the best<br />
Because their father didn't stop to rest<br />
<br />
He just kept going, believing they cared<br />
Now they're hiding or running scared<br />
<br />
But scared of what he wonders aloud<br />
Will he ever know before he wears a shroud?<br />
<br />
He did his best they can't deny that<br />
Most other people are dipping their hat<br />
<br />
To a man who gave more than many others<br />
He put them all first couldn't have his druthers<br />
<br />
Now they all live their comfortable lives<br />
Let’s hope their children, husbands, and wives<br />
<br />
Never give them the same bitterness and hate<br />
After such a great effort as a parent and mate<br />
<br />
Things taken for granted not actually seen<br />
No one knows where his strong back has been<br />
<br />
Sometimes the very best of care <br />
Can see you alone, just standing there<br />
<br />
Wondering why you no longer see<br />
A single member of your family

Things will work out for you, your story is like my son's<br />
he is doing good because he took care of the kids...