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Lonely College Student? What?

I'm 20 years old and in college. I should be having the time of my life, right? I should be out mingling and partying and meeting new people daily...right? I'm not. I'm really not. It's Saturday night, 10:30 to be exact and I've been sitting here just trying my darndest to convince myself that I'm a normal 20 year old college student. But I'm not, I'm really not. I'm 5'6, 135 lbs, blonde haired and dark brown eyed. I'm pretty, maybe not beautiful but I'm pretty. So why can't I meet a God-damned person? Why can't I have friends and boyfriends and people who call me to hang out? Why?

I stay cooped up in my stupid apartment...going out only for class and food. I stay hidden here, away from the world because I'm scared to go out. Why? I really couldn't tell you. I'm scared of uncomfortable situations and awkward silences. I'm scared of bad conversation and sounding stupid. And you know what? I'm increddibly...increddibly lonely. But you know what? As scared as I am of being alone forever, I'm even more scared of not being alone. What's wrong with me? Who thinks like that? I keep people at an arm's length because any closer and they could hurt me. But, keep enough people far enough away and soon enough those people are going to go and find people who will embrace them. And soon enough I stop keeping people at even an arm's length because even they walk away.

Please, please if anybody can in anyway (and hopefully a major way) understand this and connect to this, please contact me. I honestly think that I'm alone in doing this, acting like this. It's so abnormal and crazy that I feel like the only person in the entire world that feels this way. Am I?

escritor93 escritor93 18-21 432 Responses May 9, 2009

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You are certainly not alone in feeling this way. Like the other posters have been writing, I have been through what you are talking about. The fear, actually it's a kind of panic when it comes to talking to other people and going to parties and so on. It has happened before that I was scared of talking to a shopkeeper. Not fear of them but just panic at interacting with someone else. It certainly is a very unpleasant fr<x>ame of mind to be in. My heart goes out to you. I hope things are better now :) For my case, things are a bit better cos I met someone. I wouldn't say that he's my bf but he certainly is someone I care about, this lifted quite a weight from my heart. Mind you, I am 27 and this is the first time I feel this close to another person. I had been feeling panicked and alone since I was 16. Things take time for people like us, but eventually, they can happen. Just because we are awkward lonely creatures doesn't mean we are hopeless and doomed. Again, I do hope that you life has improved or is in track to improve. And if it hasn't then it definitely well, don't lose heart, you deserve happiness and love :) hugs

Im 29 years old male, i never had girl friend on my life nd i never try to find one, its not 'coz im ugly thats y i cant find, no not that, im not ugly, im handsom, y im saying this" handsom" 'coz everyone know thier self better then other people.<br />
Whatever, 2 years ago my job only sitting and reading the sad story,lessening to sad songs,looking to sad picture on the computer,nd midnight weak up and start crying that was job in past 2 years, no work,no study,nothing nd nothing only at night weakup nd crying for nothing. maybe you guysnot believe but i think i dont need to lie or to write lie 'coz its easy to lie to someone els but its hard to lie to u r self.<br />
finally i go to see doctor nd the doctor give deep dipression tablet it was about 1000mg to strong when i start useing stright way feeling like drunk guys nd feeling sleepy nd i used about 9 months after that i was feeling so happy nd so active, then i start looking for job nd in couple of weeks i found my dream job nd i start working nd saving, spending, enjoying from life every moment but the only thing is stil im alone no gf 'coz i realy dont like to have gf, 'coz i wnt get married thats y im looking for good girls who can be a good mom for my child in the near future. Now im stile working nd i have money nd ihave beautiful car nd every thing only one thing missing thats wife i know i'll get good wife soon.<br />
just i wana tell to anyone who realy feeling lonely or something depression sign just go nd c u r doctore or soicologist.<br />
NOTE: sorry about grammar mistak, i think it dosnt metter the gramar 'coz here is not gramar test.

Honey, don't be so worried about what others think. They won't notice and, they won't remember the stupid little things. Talk to everyone until you find the ones you enjoy talking to most. I have some people we speak of philosophy and others, we speak of shallow mundane things. Everyone is different. Just don't preoccupy your mind with what could be running through theirs. It's a waste of mental power. Some people are a blank slate and others are in so many different places they aren't even present when in front of you. Just be accepting of them and they will be of you. The ones who aren't can go **** off ;)

By the way, don't ba<x>se your life on how others live theirs. I was a late and short lived partier. It's noce once in awhile but, being surrounded by those people can be draining. Like I said, everyone is different. There are deep people with intelligence and a core, shallow people with no substance. People who will use you, people who will help you... So many different kinds, the only way to begin to understand them is to experience them. It took me 24 years to figure out the people I want to associate with and the ones I want nothing to do with. You have to get burned to learn sometimes. Just don't invest your emotions in toxic people and you should be fine. Be giving but, don't be a door mat.

there only one word to say <br />
<br />
you are my refelction of my own life.... those what you write is....also my story....

I'M LIKE THIS TOO =( AND IT SUCKS...IT JUST JUST SUCKS BIG TIME. I think I REPEL people.<br />
I'm 5'6 too but a couple o yrs youngr, and yea my hair r black =D but readin ur post felt like i was readin my diary ='''( i totally know wat u go thru all the time. and yes this situation brought me to EP too.

Wow, 20 yr old pretty college student, you're missing the point. point is that we all can't go in the same direction (time of your life). Not all wired for sound college students survived the proverbial "time of life' scenario, we're all supposed to have like in the movies. What you've been given is the ideal conditions for future success. The proverb is , Pretty College, is that" when God gives you lemons you make lemonade". In 5 count em 5 long years if you sink your sorrows into the idea of becoming somebody, given the lucky break of being removed from all that life sucking distraction you think is fun, Then the only thing at the end of that rainbow is gold. College is a discipline, my pretty , all success stories in the mags will omit the years of lonliness and toil it takes to become successful. Don't kiss any boys on the way up you'll turn into a frog.

Im sorry if someone already suggested this, but so many people commented, I couldn't read them all. You are right, this is not normal. You are almost suffering from a disorder. There is no shame in seeking help, there is great shame in not seeking help. Be it depression or anxiety or, (commonly) both, there are many very tolerable, inexpensive medications available to help you. The great thing about meds, is, if you don't like the way they make you feel, you stop and try the next one. Approach this like a study. Only you can take the steps to change your life.

I am sorry, but I disagree with you, This MAY be a "Medical" situation or it may be (like many have suggested) a phase... Only she and a medical professional can diagnose that and since you are not there, have not EVEN read all these posts, I do NOT think you have it right... There MAY be some help in going to a medical professional, but without knowing the rest of the story, it is IMPOSSIBLE to tell. Streetside Doctors (or should I say QUACKS are a dime a dozen, BUT nine times out of ten, HAVE IT ALL WRONG... She MAY benefit by seeing a professional, but that may NOT be necessary and a "waste" of "precious" (to MOST college students) money... I have a daughter in college and know how expensive it is...
I agree that there is no shame in seeking help, and that is part of this whole story, she is seeking some suggestions to maybe help her get through this as well as the knowledge that there are others like herself out here (and there are (I myself was a little like her through school and have gotten through it without professional help; as she may).

Im sorry if someone already suggested this, but so many people commented, I couldn't read them all. You are right, this is not normal. You are almost suffering from a disorder. There is no shame in seeking help, there is great shame in not seeking help. Be it depression or anxiety or, (commonly) both, there are many very tolerable, inexpensive medications available to help you. The great thing about meds, is, if you don't like the way they make you feel, you stop and try the next one. Approach this like a study. Only you can take the steps to change your life.

Hey,<br />
I was there. Well, not exactly. It's high school...not quite the same. But I had friends, good friends from kindergarten, and not even that helped the lonliness. I felt like nobody liked me, everybody knew how boring or uncool I was just with one glance. That is NOT possible, I realize that now. But it feels so real. And know this too - if you're like me, all the pep talks and great motivational sayings in the world will not help one bit. <br />
<br />
So...take the chance and see a medical professional. Even if it isn't depression, you have a lot of unexplained anxiety. Like I did. I got help only a month ago...my life has been pretty sweet since, I actually enjoy it and enjoy hanging out with people again.<br />
<br />
I'm living again. I want the same for you!<br />
<br />
Love, Sarah

I know what you mean - I am young, a college student, everything is right with me, and people even consider me very beautiful, but... I just don't behave like your average girl always being out and getting wasted with a bunch of people who I don't know. I'm not really interested in hooking up just for the sake of it either, and I decline almost all advances that guys make on me, ultimately leading to me not going on a date for extended periods of time. <br />
But, I have come to realize that this is all my own choice, and that I know exactly why I behave that way.<br />
The thing is, I have chosen to surround myself and to spend my time exclusively on people that interest me and whom I consider valuable - I don't feel satisfied with interacting with random strangers on a drunken night out. <br />
I have a small number of really good friends, scattered around the places where I have lived, but unfortunately, in the new city where I reside (london) I have only met too few people that I want to be friends with. Many times our schedules are completely different, because none of them studies with me, some of them are older and work, and so on. So there are many evenings when I'm stuck at home, feeling lonely because nobody is available to hang out.<br />
It's frustrating because I feel isolated, but it's an isolation of my own choice. I don't drink, so most people manage to make me REALLY bored on an average night out, to the point, where I would have preferred to stay home and have a skype conversation with one of my dear friends abroad. <br />
<br />
I used to think that it's not completely normal for a young girl to be home on a Saturday night, but after years of behaving this way, I started justifying it with this idea, which I hope you might be able to relate to yourself:<br />
<br />
There is no right or wrong way to live your life. Every person is different and they require different things to make them happy. Knowing what makes you happy, who you truly value and what your goals in life are, is what is important. If you find that you want to live your life in a different way than most other people, than live it that way, don't let yourself be told what's right for you, because living a lie isn't going to help.<br />
<br />
That being said, find out how to alleviate your loneliness without having to compromise on your feelings. If you are scared of people in general, don't hang out with tons of strangers - concentrate on finding friendships with people, who would be willing to open up to you and build trust in those relationships. First try to find what I call "day-time-friendships" that would mean, having people who understand you, have similar interests and can hang out with you during the day, sharing activities, and who don't need to be drunk and out to be hanging out with you.<br />
<br />
After a while, maybe you can hit the clubs and pubs with those people too and when you are in an environment of close friends, you won't be frightened by the other people. So you will have a safe environment to go out in and you will be able to work it from there :)<br />
<br />
I hope that helps. Just don't question whether or not you are normal or not - there is no right and wrong in these things :)<br />
And most importantly - there are always periods in life. You might be in a lonely period, but a different period will sooner or later begin (depends on you and on circumstances which you can't control). In my situation, I just continue to be true to myself, pursue my interests, and patiently wait for life to do what it always does when I go to a new place - take it's time to bring the right type of people to me. Once I establish a circle of good friends, I will do exactly what I suggested you to do - have fun with the correct type of people, who I value.<br />
<br />
Hope that helps!

I know what you mean - I am young, a college student, everything is right with me, and people even consider me very beautiful, but... I just don't behave like your average girl always being out and getting wasted with a bunch of people who I don't know. I'm not really interested in hooking up just for the sake of it either, and I decline almost all advances that guys make on me, ultimately leading to me not going on a date for extended periods of time. <br />
But, I have come to realize that this is all my own choice, and that I know exactly why I behave that way.<br />
The thing is, I have chosen to surround myself and to spend my time exclusively on people that interest me and whom I consider valuable - I don't feel satisfied with interacting with random strangers on a drunken night out. <br />
I have a small number of really good friends, scattered around the places where I have lived, but unfortunately, in the new city where I reside (london) I have only met too few people that I want to be friends with. Many times our schedules are completely different, because none of them studies with me, some of them are older and work, and so on. So there are many evenings when I'm stuck at home, feeling lonely because nobody is available to hang out.<br />
It's frustrating because I feel isolated, but it's an isolation of my own choice. I don't drink, so most people manage to make me REALLY bored on an average night out, to the point, where I would have preferred to stay home and have a skype conversation with one of my dear friends abroad. <br />
<br />
I used to think that it's not completely normal for a young girl to be home on a Saturday night, but after years of behaving this way, I started justifying it with this idea, which I hope you might be able to relate to yourself:<br />
<br />
There is no right or wrong way to live your life. Every person is different and they require different things to make them happy. Knowing what makes you happy, who you truly value and what your goals in life are, is what is important. If you find that you want to live your life in a different way than most other people, than live it that way, don't let yourself be told what's right for you, because living a lie isn't going to help.<br />
<br />
That being said, find out how to alleviate your loneliness without having to compromise on your feelings. If you are scared of people in general, don't hang out with tons of strangers - concentrate on finding friendships with people, who would be willing to open up to you and build trust in those relationships. First try to find what I call "day-time-friendships" that would mean, having people who understand you, have similar interests and can hang out with you during the day, sharing activities, and who don't need to be drunk and out to be hanging out with you.<br />
<br />
After a while, maybe you can hit the clubs and pubs with those people too and when you are in an environment of close friends, you won't be frightened by the other people. So you will have a safe environment to go out in and you will be able to work it from there :)<br />
<br />
I hope that helps. Just don't question whether or not you are normal or not - there is no right and wrong in these things :)<br />
And most importantly - there are always periods in life. You might be in a lonely period, but a different period will sooner or later begin (depends on you and on circumstances which you can't control). In my situation, I just continue to be true to myself, pursue my interests, and patiently wait for life to do what it always does when I go to a new place - take it's time to bring the right type of people to me. Once I establish a circle of good friends, I will do exactly what I suggested you to do - have fun with the correct type of people, who I value.<br />
<br />
Hope that helps!

Well if these 5 pages of responses don't convince u ur not alone I don't know what will..... Anyway I know exactly how you feel. The only reason I actually have friends is because of flat mates and old high school friends who moved to the same city as me and introduced me to their friends and flatmates. I wish I could make friends with some of the people in my class though :( I know a lot of them are interested in the same stuff as me but I just can't make myself talk to them.. :( Even after being in the same classes for a number of years. I makes me sad but I feel lucky that I have the friends I do. I also do not drink much. I hardly ever go out even though my flatmates pester me about getting a new ID constantly so that I can go clubbing with them. I guess I don't really like alcohol very much and I don't really like the clubs either, I can't hear what people say even if they shout in my ear.. I'd much prefer just to sit quietly and talk to someone.... I think people like us don't realize how many other people just like us are out there because our problem prevents us from ever meeting :(

Life is all about taking chances, accepting the fact that we are imperfect people living within an imperfect world. There are going to be awkward and uncomfortable situations at times but we must simply accept this reality, smile, do our best to make the most of of it, and proceed happily forward. Each time we deal with a challenge, the more we learn from the experience and how to handle different situations. The more frequently we do so, the easier it becomes over time. Life is all about learning, mostly the learning about ourselves. Whilst we know we will never be able to please everyone, we must strive to live a good and happy life. The best way of doing this is by being self-sufficient, as relaxed as we can possibly be with who we are as a person, doing our best to be kind, courteous, and polite to others. Simultaneously, whilst we do our best to treat others with kindness, we must also treat ourselves with the same amount of kindness. Avoid situations which are negative or those which create unnecessary drama in life. Make as many friends as you possibly can with good, positive, and upbeat people...people who treat themselves and others respectfully and responsibly. Before too long, you will begin to realise you are comfortably surrounded by others, going out and enjoying life and creating great memories. <br />
<br />
When I was younger, I was painfully shy. Though I am intelligent and physically attractive, I suffered self-esteem issues and an abundance of fear preventing me from going out and experiencing everyday life. Finally, after a few years of struggling to overcome this, I refused to deny myself the opportunities to experience the things I wanted to do and see. I made a bucket list and began my life's journey. Along the way, I have met and befriended many wonderful individuals, some have truly become the greatest blessings in my life. Occasionally, my bucket list is updated, as I mark off events I experience. The experiences and friends I have made over the years have made for an amasing life.<br />
<br />
It all starts with a "hello" and a smile or a handshake, the willingness to strike up a conversation with someone new. Kindness and sincerity bond, solidify, and propel friendships and this leads to many future adventures. Friends also give us someone besides ourselves to think about. I learned early on that not everyone is going to be a good person or a good fit into my life, but we each learn this as time passes. It is important to continually move positively forward, always setting goals you wish to accomplish and doing your best to achieve them. Those goals may consists of everything from friends, experiences, career choices, to whatever your individual desires may be. The most important thing is to enjoy living whilst being a good person. Never allow unnecessary fear to rob you of enjoying life.

if youd like to chat and i can help in any way well my handle is on this post , send me a line and between us maybe we can change things for yougive you a shot in the arm of confidence im a good listener and hope we can get you uot there enjoying your young life blossoming into a confident and centre of attention young woman that everyone wants to b near and included as friends withtake care there princess cause i care

Hmm. It's been almost 2 1/2 years since escritor93 shared her plight with us. Are you there, escritor 93? Are you reading these comments? Well, the comments may help others, so keep 'em coming!

These posts reminded me how I felt when I was in my first year at College. I spent a lot of time feeling lonely and uninvolved. Some people choose to be loners, others do not and are limited by shyness, lack of confidence. Having trained first as a Counsellor and then a Hypnotherapist, I know it is possible to change, to gain confidence and overcome shyness. I believe these problems are related to low self esteem. Some steps that you can take:<br />
<br />
1. You have to decide to overcome it. Take some action, however small.<br />
2. As many others have said, go and talk to someone, a Counsellor for instance.<br />
3. DO something. Go to a club where you can do an activity, be it art, badminton, dance, volunteer. Other people feel shy too! Each day, do something to get out there. Make a plan and do it. And keep going! It will get easier, you have to persevere. <br />
4. You have to stop the negative chatter in your head that is saying 'You can't, you're worthless' etc. If you can't do this on your own, seek help from a professional.<br />
<br />
I run a 3 day training event that is designed to teach people how to use the most powerful computer on the planet: the human brain. I had one client , called Sue, who didn't leave the house for 18 months, due to anxiety, lack of self esteem etc. After the first day she went to a restaurant. On the second day she got on the underground in London and went to Harrods and the theatre! She now is living the life she wanted! You can read her story on my website inspiringchange.co.uk (go to Testimonials) and download a free report 'Six Steps To High Self Esteem'. I offer free taster sessions, which can be done on the phone/skype.<br />
<br />
You can overcome these issues, you need to be determined and in the words of Winston Churchill. He was addressing graduates at a University (Oxford I think). He stood up and delivered the following words, and then sat down!<br />
'Never, never, never, never give up'.<br />
<br />
Simon

You are not alone....I understand your inner turmoil, for as you, I walk in the Valley of the Shadow, also being the light that chases the dark away....For the dark is but a vessel, concealing that which can not be contained....for its out of darkness that one beholds The Light....the Light of Love....truth....and pure Testimony.....the LOVE of such a kind....nothing in all of creation can extinguish this flame once it is kindled....for it is the Desire of the Ages....

its just a confidence issue i think love,when i was 12/13 i KNEW i wasn't liked,this was due to being put in and out of kids homes and foster parents,but one day/night i decided that the only persons opinion of me was mine.after that i made other changes to things around me.before i knew it i was growing in confidence.then at 15 i was a bit naughty and got kicked out of school and was moved to another where i knew no one.that was a very low point,but again i just got on with what made me happy,i wont say on here but if you want to know email me.so please love,it dont matter what anyone else thinks or says or dont say,if you are ok with everything then sod them.loneliness is a state of mind,so i live by 1 motto now "if it feels good,do it"just go out,anywhere it dont matter.i garentee you will start to feel better.take care anywho,cheers,rich.

First of all I want to tell dr, ur not the only one who thinks in that way. Because I also feel the same here. I feel lonly but I really can't go out. Because same as u I also can't tell the reason. I feel like I should have smone to talk or to love, to share the life but I can't. It's really sucking. But I beleive that there is a solution for my problem but I still have the potential to make it a real. I'm sure u also will have some kind of a solution. So never feel isolated. Try to find the solution. There r people around the world who feels the sama as u. All this is because of our karma. So be courageous. May god bless u.

I'm a bi guy with a girls clothes fetish. I couldn't wait to live on my own so I could get dressed up like a women and not get caught. Well I moved on my own and bought lots of nice dresses and other girls clothes, and got all dressed up. Well once the novelty wore off , I found myself still on my own. It had become a way of life for me to be a loner. I am not a mean guy, I just have a fetish. i am slightly turned on by wearing women's clothes. I am trying to something about being alone too. i have joined a few gay groups at my school and now I get dressed up to go to events like gay dances and karaoke, or movie night. My fetish has evolved from my dirty little secret to a nice time with others. I try to get to the gay events at least once a month, and I have met a nice guy. We are going on our first date this Saturday. Maybe it is like that for you too. You may be looking for someone special for you to hang out with. i have found a few people who are like myself and it is nice to be with others who understand. Just don't be too picky, you might find yourself alone again. Good luck, and if you want to wright me I can be a nice friend.

Jesus Christ is a friend that stick closer than a brother! He will never leave you or forsake you. You can get to know him through the Bible... especially the Book of John. If you will accept Jesus as your personal Savior and follow him as your Lord, you will find new HOPE and strength to face each new day! Check out John 3:16... and Romans 10:9-10. Also look at Romans 8:28-29 and verse 38. You can find all kinds of Bible help online... especially at this awesome site: http://www.biblegateway.com/

I have felt like this at times. My suggestion to you would be to get outside of your comfort zone....after all it doesn't sound that comfortable! consider what you have to lose from pushing your boundaries and getting out of that zone- NOTHING! And everything to gain! I think the fear comes from a place of negativity and that will always be there but please please try to realise that there are people out there you can connect with I promise you!

Your request was two and a half years ago, so hopefully you found a solution.<br />
Just in case you've tried all the other suggestions to get out more, join a class, take up religion or whatever as a means of meeting people, you might try accepting and enjoying your solitude.<br />
Create yourself a character and write her story - exactly what she would do in a variety of sexual encounters. Let your fantasy imagination run riot. She need not be constrained by gender or age, and need not have any of your hangups from the real world. There is no need to publish the stories, just write for your own pleasure. If you want other perverts opinions then try xhamster.com.

i'm 17, i totally get it. i'm exactly the same.. but i'm not scared. i'm more-so anti-social hating the world type. there's nothing wrong with you.

I can relate. Im a 21 female in college, and I feel alone too sometimes. If you need someone to talk to you can message me.

As you can tell from the other comments you have received, you are not really alone in how you feel. I still feel alone in many ways at times - even though I am 50 years old and married. Right now I am going through one of those times. It is painful, it is is confusing, and it angers me. It hits every area of my being. At the same time, it makes me want to reach out in any way I can to cure the pain - which is a very vulnerable place to be. You did the brave thing and wrote about it here. That took courage, and shows you are a strong person deep down. Hang on to that strength, and trust it. Know that, because of what you did, you have helped me to hang on to what little strength I feel I have to hold onto right now.

I don't know if you are still reading this after two and a half years but I am pretty much a loner after many attempts to 'join in' to various groups, fellowships etc. which always seem to end the same way. I just CANNOT follow 'leaders' who are ignorant, selfish and stupid even if I feel miserable being an outsider. I have little respect for people who accept the conclusions of someone else's thinking without thinking things through and forming their own conclusions. But no one is an island. I am reconciled to the fact that it is necessary to interact with others even if I find them to be shallow and thoughtless, whether I enjoy this or not and often I do not enjoy it. I am settled on an uneasy compromise. In many things I am a loner by choice but I know that human beings chose civilization as a survival mechanism. One way or another we live together or we die alone. I make the choices necessary for survival. Mere survival in itself is not quite enough but is not a bad start while we look for a more excellent solution. I wish it could be some other way but the world is not yet perfect.

You are quite young and have so much life ahead of you. Do you think your sheltered lifestyle comes from how you were raised? I know that my father didn't really allow us to go out and have fun or meet new people. He was from the south and didn't really trust a fast paced city like nyc. Anyway, it's normal to be afraid of being hurt, especially if you have already been so in the past. Life will always have it's awkward moments, bad dates and fake friends. There is nothing wrong in being cautious. You have to get out there and mingle. There is always someone for you out there. Seriously, there is no need to rush unless you are an alien who needs to find suitible mates to help your planet's population grow. Seriously, live your life without that fear, but always stay cautious and all will be just fine. I too used to be shy and somewhat of a loner. It took me in my 20's before i began coming out of that shell to experience life. Since then, i have been through many things, good and bad......it's just life. Now in my 40's, i am married with three girls and one of them is almost done with college. You will have a great life and one day, when you are my age, you will sit back and think of this message you posted and kind of smile. GOD bless you. Stay safe, stay smart and never change who you are for anyone. That would make you fake and that's never a good thing.

get good at what you do,stop judging people,and you will feel that release and ease, and all will come to you,let your sense guide you , be prepared to make mistakes,jump into life boots and all,there is no second chance

I know you think that you are "alone" not only literally but in the way you're feeling. Truth is you're more normal than you think. Look at the other 60+ posts. Most people feel the way you do at different times in their lives & for a variety of reasons.The majority of people I know are "spectators" in life, not "performers" ... that's normal. It's all a matter of your perspective. Hey, I'm just the other side of 50, I went through 4 yrs of HS, college in So. Cal. and the majority of my first 30+ yrs on the earth .. invisible, a shadow on the wall. Or that's how I "saw" it. In my case I just couldn't imagine that anyone would be interested in me, as friend or god forbid romantically. I took an extra shift pumping gas so i could avoid going to my senior prom, alone. Had Thanksgiving by myself in Malibu, CA. because I avoided letting people know me & that I was lonely. Somewhere around 30 I realized, I was "all right", I could be funny, charming even & a good friend if given the chance. It was a slow process & i'm still "growing" into who I want to be. You just have to stop judging yourself,accept who you are now & try to like yourself as you are. Take small steps to change the things you don't like, if you don't no one else will. Start by just making eye contact & a smile for people when you interact, the clerk at the store, the UPS guy , whoever .. make a comment about anything, the weather, your bad hair day.. doesn't matter, but "engage" people ... you'll be surprised at the result & how good it makes you feel. Before you know it's a habit & you're not alone anymore. I'm 53, finally "comfortable" in my skin (well, mostly just too much of it!) & people "like" me now. Old HS people (thank you Facebook) that I've re-connected with are giving me a totally new perspective on "me" I was in HS. So so different from how I imagined they saw me. Truth = most people aren't going to dislike you unless you give them a reason. It all starts with a smile. try it, nothing to lose. :< }

+mmmm, <br />
Many huggs go out to you from mee!! For me i was always shy and rather backward about meeting people, in school i always was by myself, at home i had a room and still do where i recordrd songs from the radio, worked on electronic and electrical projects, didnt have many friends in the neighborhood either. My whole family and me grew uprather poor. We were the only family that didnt have TV SET. Now after being in the servic e and worked many years to retirement, ive opened up a lot, had a few g/friends, got married, have a great son.. Now im spending my leisure online--- Pleas, get out oif the shell that your in, reach out!! exert yourself! dont be like me --dont be afraid of anything in this world baby girl.. IN GOD I HAVE PUT MY TRUST, I SHALL NOT BE AFRAID, WHAT CAN EARTHLY MAN DO TO ME? Im here for you, ok...HUGGS ---

My son is suffering from loneliness. He has Aspergers, and has always been bullied, isolated, and excluded from social groups. He is at Central Washington University. He is right now alone in his dorm room and my heart is breaking for him. Isn't there a way for lonely college students to connect with each other? A place where my son could post his info (likes video games- that kind of stuff) and find someone to hang out with? There has to be a significant number of students at every college who don't fit in easily. What a shame that we can't find a solution!

You do not have to try to be happy. Happiness is natural. Suffering is caused by something. It is part of cause and effect: the mechanical world. Happiness is not caused by anything.. Unhappiness is not your nature. It has to be caused, it has to be created The problem is in your thinking. It takes much less effort to change your thinking.<br />
<br />
The things you have listed, such as going to parties, having many friends etc may not be the things that may really inspire you to tackle unhappiness. Those things are good if you are happy. So change your thinking. Happiness is free like moonlight, breeze and pretty faces you see in a flash in a crowd. Just accept life. Let it be. YOU WILL BE WELL>

Make the best of it! You can turn it around into the best time of your life. How? Two ways: 1. PRAY for God's personal self-revelation to meet you in your need; and 2. STUDY John's gospel to confirm God's personal introduction into your life and all the LIVE connections you will establish. You will never be lonely again. God bless you.

It’s just a period in your life. Relax and stop over thinking everything.<br />
You just have to talk to your colleagues and ask them to go out for coffee or whatever at first just to talk to them and maybe meet some of their friends and just try to be more comfortable in those situations no matter what you talk about.<br />
Just don’t care so much about awkward’ situations or what other people think .. heh life is short… do what you want to do when you want to.<br />
<br />
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0-HLG7Dxec&feature=related

hello,<br />
<br />
you sound like a genuinely nice person. you may have social phobia though, which is a type of anxiety disorder. the good news is, there are remedies for it. talk about a referral with your doctor or the college counselling service. if that is too daunting, i am sure there are helplines that you can call.<br />
<br />
good luck.

Dear Friend,<br />
<br />
I have experience with loneliness & depression throughout my life too. I propose a therapy<br />
that will help. I want you to spend 48 straight hours with me with no distractions like phone<br />
calls & texts. We would start with lots of talking to get to know each other well--likes, dislikes,<br />
hobbies, dreams, stories about past events, anything & everything, do an activity that we both<br />
enjoy, go somewhere we both like, spend quality time together as we get to know each other,<br />
teach each other new things, and anything else we could thing of to do. At the end of 48 hours<br />
you would have a life long friend that you could call or meet with on occasion. You would come<br />
out of your shell and socialize more because I would push you to try and do many new things<br />
that you have never thought about doing before to get you totally free as I slowly get you more<br />
open and free to live life in a more happy mood. I will motivate you in every way I can think of<br />
to enjoy life more. The 48 hours will help us to get to know each other enough that we can open<br />
up with each other and motivate each other---we will end up helping each other from our life's<br />
experiences, stories and ideas. You will have a great time and leave much more open as I<br />
open your thinking up to enjoy people more. I am 60 years old, harmless, work for public<br />
schools where my back ground is checked regularly---I am safe--to be your friend and helper.<br />
And I would love to help you and get to know you as a long term friend. I have a God-daughter<br />
that enjoys my company from age 4 to college freshman--we have taught each other stuff over<br />
the years.<br />
<br />
So consider this offer of help and a good time. Believe me I can make a difference.

I can relate to feeling lonely. Im much older than you, went through a bad divorce, endured countles hours of verbal abuse b4 I finally had enough and filed for divorce. I spent the next ten plus yrs existing, just going through the motions of living, avoiding parties, burying myself in my hobbies and putting up a stone wall keeping out anyone, and especially females. I was in no shape to take on the day to day of a relationship. I know its not similar to your situation, but the point is, humans crave being social, interacting with other people. It's part of our pscye. In fact some countries used isolation as a technique to breakdown the will of people caught and suspected of spying. But I digress.<br />
What is important here is to get in touch with those feellings. Social interaction comes with some risks, (meeting new people, experiencing new situations , parties etc). I would suggest as a first step is to talk to one of your coucellors. Describe your feelings, maybe they can steer you toward a professional coucellor. Next, explore your hobbies, do you like chess, cards, taking pictures? Join a club and just be part of a group. Interact where you have to, but at your own speed. After time, you will become more comfortable in group situations and feel alot better.<br />
I sheltered myself for more than 10 yrs, wasted all that time. In the past 3 yrs Ive been seeing a personal councellor and I am now ready for a relationship with the oppisite sex. I was so introverted I would avoid parties etc. I know how you feel, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. <br />
Your young, the feelings your having happens to everyone, Its part of growing up. It will get better. Talk to your guidance coucellor.<br />
Bsliprluvr (over 50)

I was like you. Looking back, I see where people did reach out, even in silly ways, and I turned them away. I turned down invitations to parties, and didn't show up in cafes and office parties and lunch spots where I could have met people.<br />
<br />
People are going to hurt you and you're not going to drop dead from it. Your fear of being hurt is more painful than bening hurt would be.<br />
<br />
See yourself in your own personal history. See yourself as someone who will one day be 30, 40 50 and 60, and realize that you are a shy young person, not a crazy hermit.<br />
<br />
Just get out there and live.

Dear escritor93, you have received a variety of responses from people and I'm sure you will find some comfort in what others have shared and offered. I will simply add to the mix, and I will write from a place of deep compassion for you because I understand your frustrations and your lonliness. And, while some of what I will share here may be similar to what others have already shared, my apporach comes entirely from personal experience and may feel to be somewhat different. <br />
<br />
First, there is no such thing as "normal", although the mass consciousness of humanity would have you believe there is, but that's only because the emphasis in this world is entirely on looking outside ourselves and comparing, and there is an emphasis on what is expected and the result of this is that if we discover we cannot live up to such expectations, it is very painful indeed. But this an illusion dear friend. There is one crucial truth that has historically not been taught (well, actually it has been but has been largely ignored), and that is that you are a divine being having a human experience. And part of your experience was to forget entirely about your divine roots (as we all have forgotten) so that you (we all) can expand your capacity to experience compassion, for yourself first, and then naturally, for others. Within a place of deep compassion there exists a deep state of joy. So we put ourselves into situations and circumstances that will cause us to experience alienation from our true nature, and then we have the magnificent opportunity to discover the deeper truth about ourselves, if we choose.<br />
<br />
Humanity is going through an awakening to this truth right now, not so much consciously yet, although there are many who are waking up consciously, but for the most part, what you see in the news is a reflection of a desire for change unlike we've ever seen, and it is being prompted by this awakening process that began relatively recently. It is especially a challenge when you are going through this process of awakening unconsciously (as you are--that is to say, unaware of what's actually happening). Knowing the truth will help you tremendously in dealing with the manufactured emotions of lonliness and fear, which are a product of the mind. Because we are all divine, our true natural state of being is joy, but the mind doesn't understand this or believe it, so it has to create something in order to feel alive, and the variety of emotions that you and so many others around the world right now are experiencing is the poor substitute that the mind came up with. <br />
<br />
So, as others have shared here, it is a matter of coming to love and accept yourself, and to truly do this, it is necessary to understand that you are divine. This knowledge allows you to understand that the love and acceptance you are looking for is right inside yourself and has been there all along---not easy to find because of the hypnotic nature of mass consciousness, but true nonetheless. <br />
<br />
Having said that, I invite you to have a look at some of the short videos I have on the home page of my website: www.MasteringTrueLove.com. There you will find some tools that have the capacity of helping you, if you choose. Much love and compassion for you dear one. Blessings...:)

Why not try joining some club or activity within the college in fact try several, it might be what you need dont rush, at first take it easy to build up your confidence if not for you at least you are out there and people will notice or if you need to talk pm me or ask on EP I am sure there will be the support and advice that may help, good luck ps dont be alone

From what you said, I've gone through similar and still do. I hope life is better for you since this story was written.

I am with you .Are you in skype if yes add me am kghoseawon ,dear me too..,i usually find myself alone in life even though i have my family

I am with you .Are you in skype if yes add me am kghoseawon ,dear me too..,i usually find myself alone in life even though i have my family

I had experience like your then i was young. It cost me great effort to stop be afraid with people around me. It really difficult to become sociable then you are fear people around. People feel your fear and you looking like stranger for then. <br />
In my life the great breakthrough happened then i was going in small sport club ( I do same type of straggle ). I didn’t get any desalt in the sport, but because in club there was so good relationship between member of the club, my fear to be open for people began to decline step by step. So I advise you go and find some sport club then people laughing and glad see each other. You will find your own way in relationship with people. <br />
Yes then you allow somebody be close to you he can bring you pain, but good people more then bad. You only need same experiences with people to find excelled friends. Yes friends same time bring us trouble and pain but then bring us much more happiness too. <br />
And second don’t be afraid of your trouble. A lot of people had trouble like you. You have plenty of time and all will be OK. <br />
If you want you can writer me. May be my experience will be useful for you.<br />
Alex.

you may find this site useful<br />
<br />
http://www.socialphobia.org/

Hi. I'm Hanny. I am 36. I do have a boyfriend but we met on facebook so I didn't actually go out and meet him. I do go out sometimes and once in a while I meet people but when I do,I just sit there for the most part. Unless people ask me a question,I don't know what to say. I feel so stupid. Christ,I just sit there like um,I don't know,I don't know. I don't even know what to say to my boyfriend half the time. I'm been scared it's not going to work because of it. I have a son who lives with his dad but when he's not with me,I mostly sit at home. I don't have much in my life. I never really did. I feel like a loser. I haven't had friends since high school. I want some so bad. I try facebook but all I get is bla,bla,bla,ok,Hanny,take care. That's it. I guess,try a councilor. I wish I knew too. I'm sorry I can't help but maybe it's helpful to know you are not alone.

HI, I will say that what you might be feeling is normal! If you remember that you are there for a more rounded education and to get you somewhere after the college experience, then you are like all of us who've taken this same journey (some more than once!). So unless you feel like you're feeling sick or in some respects, not physically healthy or are worried too much about other things that will bring you down, then by all means know that you'e feeling normal. If, however, you feel like everything is crashing down and you feel like you have no place to turn, by all means seek out a counselor at your school and talk about it! In my own time, I felt this way and finding someone to let it out to made all the difference in being able to cope. So, hang in there, know you're normal (what is that word's true definition?) and keep true to you above all! You're by no means alone, but you are unique. At other times, be glad that you do have an escape, since the campus haunts can truly be overwhelming with students, friends and others who might be jinxing your time. Good luck and remain positive about this journey you're on. It's worth it all in the end!

HI, I will say that what you might be feeling is normal! If you remember that you are there for a more rounded education and to get you somewhere after the college experience, then you are like all of us who've taken this same journey (some more than once!). So unless you feel like you're feeling sick or in some respects, not physically healthy or are worried too much about other things that will bring you down, then by all means know that you'e feeling normal. If, however, you feel like everything is crashing down and you feel like you have no place to turn, by all means seek out a counselor at your school and talk about it! In my own time, I felt this way and finding someone to let it out to made all the difference in being able to cope. So, hang in there, know you're normal (what is that word's true definition?) and keep true to you above all! You're by no means alone, but you are unique. At other times, be glad that you do have an escape, since the campus haunts can truly be overwhelming with students, friends and others who might be jinxing your time. Good luck and remain positive about this journey you're on. It's worth it all in the end!

I`m in the same situation, actually I have the same age as you do :-) I`m not going to bore you with the story of my life, but long story short, as an exlanation for this behaviour, search in your past, your childhood. Your relationship with your parents, how is it? Mine is incredibly dysfunctional, my whole family is.<br />
<br />
I`ve never really felt accepted, my parents are narcisistic self absored people, "ME, ME, ME", that it`s impossible to have a self, an independent life out there. I know I`m different, but hell, I`m here, and still alive you know?<br />
<br />
I have been rejected and badly hurt in relationships too, because I wanted to be emotionally rescued, and for my partners to "fill" my void and needs..but it`s not possible. Somedays it`s really hard to find another reason to carry on.<br />
<br />
But there was a quote by someone who said "When family abandones you, when your bf/gf dumps you, you always have your dreams" And I believe it`s true. Nobody can take that away from you!<br />
<br />
Hang in there friend! Hugs to you.

Oups, now I noticed the date of your post. You probably have changed a lot since 2009 :-)

Dear lonely young man,<br />
<br />
You're looking for something that will make you feel alive.<br />
As painful as your situation may be, you're making the right choices by not getting involved in things that will take you away from your studies.<br />
At this time you,re making a sacrifice for your future, therefore you need to be focused and stay on track.<br />
Be careful because you are in a vulnerable state.<br />
There are many others in the same situation, don't do anything you should'nt do.<br />
Stay on the straight and narrow path.<br />
If you're feeling so lonely, why don't you pray and ask GOD to bring the right person into your life to help you get over your lonely feelings.<br />
Your life belongs to GOD and HE wants the best for you.<br />
Ask HIM to take charge of your situation.<br />
Spend time with HIM reading and meditating on HIS word, and you will not feel this lonelyness!

You really need to give yourself a break. Don't allow society to influence you, should be this and that.<br />
It's not real, but I think you need some help. I am sure your college has even just a helpline. Talk to<br />
someone. You have to deal with these problems while you are young. I hope this helps to know people care enough to try and help you.

There must be some hobby or sport you are interested in. Join a group doing something with other people that you also enjoy. Being shy? Awkward? Forget about all that. Just be yourself. Speak normally, whatever is on your mind. You will be find. You just might make a new friend or two. Sharing a common activity is the best way to meet people.

Yes I understand how you feel, I have felt like that for a long time, no you are not the only one.

hello dear girl, first of all sorry for my eng, well, you are not the only one face this, i have been through kind of this crazy feelings for years and it gets me found EP. i recently got your story from newsletter in my mailbox, watch Nick Vujicic videos on youtube, hope it help you find ways out.<br />
i know how you feel, it hard to explain in words. if you fall please get back up, if you don't succeed now then try, try and try again. i wish you a lot of success.

Just wanna say, some of us develop more slowly than others. It's taken me until mid-20s to go out and actually have fun and be social, now I'm like I 'should' have been at 18/19. When I was 20, at college, I was too serious and avoided a lot of the going out and I felt like you do, like I was strange. But now I realise I valued having that time to myself. Now, I'm having a great time going out all the time. So it's just not your time for it now... focus on other things for now and you can get into the partying later.

You are definitely NOT the only one who feels that way. Actually, your life sounds exactly like mine lol. I too am a college student, and I too don't have any kind of social life despite this. It seems people never have any interest in getting to know me, and this fact kills me because I have yet to figure out why. Anyway I can't think of much more to say on this, but your story sounded so eerily similar to something I would write that I just had to comment. Stay strong, and feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to about stuff like this. :)

hey u are not alone, i am always lonely, whenever i was at college, i had friends but they ended up being jerks, once i get back to college, i hope i have friends but if not, no worries, i am always here if u need a friend!!! justin

same boat, worst part is having classmates that dont really mingle. Having to wait a few months just for a hello is a bit sad, but thats just life.

same boat, worst part is having classmates that dont really mingle. Having to wait a few months just for a hello is a bit sad, but thats just life.

Sounds like me.....

putting yourself out there is difficult and can sometimes be scary due to insecurities towards being accepted. although i am a very social person and put off a front of being ok, im really not. im not sure if actually going out, partying, and meeting a bunch of new people will solve your problem, but i think that it all starts with accepting oneself, then finding a group of friends that are like-minded and will care for you. as for the boyfriend problem, patience is key. and dont be afraid to flirt(;

I certainly can relate to what you are saying, it sounds like you have social anxiety, which is something I have dealt with and still deal with. It a situation that is hard to over come, but you do not have to be great at it, you only need a few close friends. Trying to meet others with similar interest is helpful in that the conversation is all ready on the table.Most people do not fear rejection and just move on, I was never good at this. Just remember that no matter how popular you are there are always people who will like you and dislike you. Millions of people voted for the President of the US and I assume like him, but then millions don't care for him and voted for someone else. It is just difficult.

Bingo Its almost as if i had written that (apart from the blonde hair blue eyes pretty bit)<br />
Im sitting in my room now While my neighbours are out clubbing. When i meet people (rarely) im a confident relaxed guy but when i start having to talk in a group and actually have fun something in my brain switches off and i turn into a terrified mess with all the social skills of a five year old worried that every time i open my mouth ill say something stupid so i dont say anything. <br />
<br />
Im sick and tired of it and if we even lived in the same country i would probably pay you a visit and we could go round collecting all the people like us and throw a big socially awkward party.

Love the idea of that, party for the socially awkward next weekend! :) I have that same prob too. One on one I'm great then make it a group then I disappear into a corner. I realize how lonely I am when I need to call someone and just talk bc I'm lonely. It scares me too bc I wonder if I was to get married who would be my bridesmaids (that would require me to get a bf which I can't seem to get)? Only 1 person? This scares me thinking abt it!!!! I wish there was a pill I could take to change this abt me!

I'm a lonely college student, too. Just don't relate to other girls well (and the guys that hit on me are never my type, because my type is very specific). Is there an experience group for this??

i know how you feel

You're not alone...another college student here, 19, pretty much staying in my room all the time with no friends to go see or talk to.

your story is almost exactly me except im 21 and about to graduate. whats gonna happen once i do graduate? its just gonna be that much harder to meet people and socialize. its honestly feels like the situation is hopeless

I feel the same way. I'm 20 years old and at a community college. I have always had trouble making friends, even in high school. I'm alright at casual conversation & have made some acquaintances, but nobody that I can make plans with. I'm nice and am attractive, just really shy! I have an amazing boyfriend, but he doesn't replace my need for friends. <br />
The fact that I have always had trouble making friends makes me feel like a loser. Especially since most people meet tons of people in college.

been there, done that, it sucks

I'm in college and not an ugly girl. I've been a student radio dj even and still dont manage to go to any party's and am alone most nights. I've always had bfs but never a lot of friends. I feel ya :/ the only thing that helps me is being involved in extracurriculars(things that you would enjoy even if there was no one there) like fencing team or something like that. Hang in there and know that moat people don't meet their friends for life until they enter a job in their field

I felt like it was me writing this post, I'm 19, will be a shophmore this coming fall. For me it was a type of fright, I wanted to connect with people but was afraid of the process, I wanted to be liked but was afraid of liking, I would stay in my room afraid of the outside world, I'm pretty enough, guys always tell I'm a good looking girl, but for some reason I am always extremely and painfully self councios, school will start again, and I will try once more to reach out to others, hopefully with a little luck even if I don't make many friends I'll make a few quality ones.

You are not alone~ I feel the same way too.. I feel really uncomfortable and awkward talking to people and starting relationships. I get worried of what people will think of me. This shyness is starting to ruin my college life.. because Im in my early twenties. It feels like I'm wasting my early life stage cooped inside my house~

I almost loved having a single to myself instead of a double with a roommate throughout college. It was nice when I had housemates my junior and senior year, but I still spent many nights doing nothing at all. I got involved in organizations on campus and still struggled to have a social life beyond that. People knew me, but I hated knowing that when lunch or dinner rolled around, there was a good chance I'd end up sitting by myself. <br />
<br />
I really didn't come out of my shell until my senior year anyway and grad school was where I came into my own, although I was still excluded from many social outings. Just be known for who you are and nothing more. People will remember you for it in the long run.

Where are all you people? I'm 20 as well, also in college, also lonely. I'm attractive (bored with years of insecurity so I'm just gonna say it) and kind and funny and enthusiastic and I can't meet anyone. My friends have all sort of vanished, although I know that I'm partially and probably to blame but in the moment being alone seems better than being lonely in a room full of people.<br />
I just want to go out and enjoy the city I'm in but.. Alone? With my mother? Who I adore but the point remains.. I wish there was a way for us to meet and not dwell online seeking out other wildly confused, sad wonderful people. I live in Austin and I'm pretty new to this huge weird state. Help me.

Hi! I'm also a 20 year old college student IN AUSTIN! I've lived in Austin all my life, and I ended up here for college (at UT). Although I have a couple, very good friends, I haven't made any new ones and I often get lonely. I would love to help you enjoy this city!

no !! actually yes .every most person in their life at ur age even me thinks like that....and readin and searching stuff on net to get rid of it...but i will tell u 1 thing ..jst show urself truly instead of convincing them that u r a hero or something like that...nd i have a frnd just like u..i trully help him to solve their problems...i try to make him happy...//it makes me good person//

I truly am pretty much the exact same way. I feel just like you. All my friends have vanished and it seems like i'm stuck in my own little bubble of a world

This got to me. I almost shed a tear.

I was like you in college. And bein lonely turned into drinking an that turned into skipping classes and that turned into dropping out. Now I'm 23 raising my 16 year old sister taking one class at a time at a local community college. I know it's scary but say something to someone in class. One time I asked a girl I'd her lip piercing hurt and we became instant friends. Turns out she was lonely too and was just looking for someone to accep her for her. <br />
<br />
We were 18 at the time. 23 now she went off to school in Arizona and were still friends to this day. Sometimes all you need is one person to stave off the loneliness.

when you said your scared of public , are insecure about your self , or are you very shy person , sometime it a little step just to stand out crowed ,or are you afraid what people might think of you , no one really know who you are unless you open your self , it not easy , just be your self and be loud or goofy just don't over due it , we all felt that way in one point in our life , so your not alone , just take a deep breath and go out there , the world is your play ground

I know exactly how you feel. You simply need to have some guts and go out and try to talk to people. Practice! Practice! Practice! Figure out stories you want to tell. Make new hobbies.

Your not alone not at all. When i look back on how my life was 3yrs ago i cant believe how i got to where i am today.. I had heaps & heaps of mates i remember making plans with 5 people at once at all the same time, constant txting phone calls it was normal and i felt like a somebody! Now i have two beautiful kids. But i have no one i can talk to no mate to pop over for a coffee or just a mate to go and sit with. Within the time of having my boys i still had mates and things were fine but i eventualy had to grow up for my boys but since that i feel like i get looked at like the boring young mum. Im not though some of the people i hung around didnt like the fact i didnt let them use me. I also found out they werent the mates i thought they were. now none of us talk, they still do there thing together but i got pushed out pretty fast. I remember one day meeting up with a mate and i was excited n couldnt wait to talk n catch up,anyway we got to talking about new years and az much az my mate didnt wont to just say it, i knew she already had plans and didnt wont me to go. She let me sit there for ages going on about it before i realised. Felt like a **** after that. They all thought cause i had kids i couldnt do anything, which was silly cause i was the main person trying to do fun things like road trips or gigs night out on the **** anything to enjoy the time we/I have. I did learn 1 thing though you finally start to see who your real mates are, they ones that hang around no matter what!!!! I am now currently still lonely i have family but they will always be there & my 1 best mate who is all the way up north : (. So if there anyone out there who just wants to talk flick me a msg.

No you're not the only one.. we feel the same way... i hate talking to people because im scared it turns to be awkward and im scared bec. they might hurt me... your attitude is normal and unique... you should not change... just do what you want where you are comfortable and you find friends with the same attitude... smile ^_^ we are unique

Honestly, face your fear's and beat them at their own game by living. Trust me in you don't the problem will deepen so much that you will not know how to act in any kind of relationship. Just be yourself and most important realize that some will like you and some will not. Just be cool with that because that's reality for everyone. Those that embrace that fact are most secure with being themselves. Simply put, you are afraid that other will not like you and that will hurt. But currently you hurting because of your fears, so face them and they will leave, I promise.

When I was in high school, I had two friends. Just two.<br />
When we had a reunion, I wondered why people never came up to me, and they said that it was because I was closed up, and they were too afraid to approach me and I seemed fine with my small clique.<br />
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That might be your case. Maybe if you want to be friends, go and make some, they wont ALL come to you, sometimes you'll have to go to them, but be out-going and available, in a self-respecting way and you might see a difference. Maybe you look to comfortable alone and thats why you've not had anyone approach you yet.

i notice there are alot of pretty girls who are lonely. You do intimate guys, so if you like someone make it very clear.

I don't have the same problem, but I can understand you, because I know someone with the same problem.

I kept telling him, that he is strong enough to bear the pain. It's true. People are mean. People say awkward things. But everyone has to face this. &'nd I'm sure you can, too.

Break the barrier. There are many people in this world, that want to keep you in their hearts...