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:(

I'm 24 year old female and I'm extremely lonely and sad. I need
somewhere to vent. It feels like I have no one. I'm sick of my phone
never ringing. I get something like 1200 minutes a month on my cellphone and I barely use any of those. I dread the weekends because whenever I leave the house I see happy families, couples, and friends together and I have no one. It seems like before I had a good number of friends and I scared them all away or something. I'm trying desperately to get a job just to make friends. I'm only taking one class in college, so the chances of me meeting friends in my class are rare. Especially since there's only like 12 people in my class. I have one good friend but she works the graveyard shift a lot so we don't see each other much. Everyone else just seems like aquantinces, I'm lucky to see the others like once or twice a month if I'm lucky. Ever since I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder things have been very difficult for me. I suffer from severe depression. I even get Electroconvulsive therapy because antidepressants won't work for me. But lately it seems even that isn't working. I miss having fun times. I know I'm getting older now and people my age are getting situated with their careers and most are done with college. For something like 3 years I was away from college so I feel like I missed a huge chunk of my life. I have a good friend that I sort of dated but he lives about 45 minutes away. I really hope things get better for me. I'm sick and tired of sleeping my days away and feeling sorry for myself. I'm not about to attempt suicide again either. I need to grow up and be an adult about my life. But I don't know where to start. I'm applying for jobs, going to school, and working out regularly, I don't know what I should do differently. I want friends, and I want a happy, busy life again.
vagueletters vagueletters 21-25, F Sep 9, 2007

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