The Cause of All This.

I have always been lonely.  I in no way am speaking with much age, I am merely 18, yet I somehow feel that I have some knowledge of things that people my age do not.  I have never really been a person to have many friends.  I have people that I can deal with.  I do not particularly like them.  It's absolutely terrible.  I make myself be lonely.  To a point, that I am deathly afraid I will never find anyone I can actually truly like...without feeling jealous and inferior to.  I am attributing all of this to my incrediby low self esteem and to being a stupid girl.

 

I don't know what else to say.  I am lonely.  Sometimes I like being alone, but I can think of nothing better in the world than spending time with someone I truly adore.  I am just afraid of being rejecting and failing (which of course seaps into every aspect of my life and pushes me even further down this dark, dark hole).  I now have a lengthy record of things I have done in my life that I am ashamed of, which make me feel even more alone because there is no one I can tell all these things to.  I feel awful.

unknown311 unknown311
18-21, F
6 Responses Jul 2, 2009

We are all alone, but you don't have to be.

man.. it is like we are all alike. Im lonely and when my friends call me... I do not answer. Depressed = finding no joy in normal things. it sucks

I get that ! I am so lonely sometimes I go through my phone book seeing who I can call. And then when poeple are calling me I don't feel like talking to anyone.<br />
<br />
EP seems to be my closest "friend" right now. I like that I can say what I want and not having to look at my friends when I am feeling better.

I get that ! I am so lonely sometimes I go through my phone book seeing who I can call. And then when poeple are calling me I don't feel like talking to anyone.<br />
<br />
EP seems to be my closest "friend" right now. I like that I can say what I want and not having to look at my friends when I am feeling better.

I feel for you, it's simerlar to what i been through. I hope you find someones you adore.<br />
I feel I need to talk to you,<br />
your story interest me. you can talk to me.

Welcome to EP! I hope it makes you feel less alone.