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Lonely

i moved 5 years ago to a place were i knew no one and have changed so much. i have no friends still after 5 years yet alone a romantic relationship. i have found comfort in food gaining 100 pounds, my family gets worried about me because i have never been like this before and just keep getting bigger it has been going on for so long that i can't control myself any more. before i moved her i was popular could go to a coffee shop when i was lonely or bored and there would always be someone there i knew,  so i never had a chance to be lonely.  i am now 27 years old look back at my life and find myself wondering will i ever find someone to spend my life with, will i ever have children, will i ever have a friend to go out for coffee with that does not live a 3 hour plane ride away or a 3 day drive because talking on a phone just does not cut it when you need a hug.
daisyfields79 daisyfields79 26-30, F 44 Responses Sep 12, 2006

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I turn to my imaginary world of my imaginary friend Casper to escape my pain of loneliness. Growing up has always felt lonely until I go into my world of imagination.

Ive gained a lot of weight too. I have turned to sweets as a way out of my pain. But at least you have an easier chance than I do. Im transgender, misunderstood and ignored. Im rejected by my family and by EVERY crush I have ever had. I am getting larger and never have had so many self image deficiencies. I would love to talk with you but will you seek interaction with me?

you can contact with me in my facebook page
volcanatash

i moved where i am nine years ago, im 35, and same things. i have MS, so it's super hard for me to get out and meet people. it's so damned hard as you get older, especially now that im not working. interesting you mention food, as my dominoes just arrived...

we have one another tho. im in MD what about you?

same here i gain 20 pound since we moved because i stooped playing and running like you i found comfort in food but i didnt stop believing you must have faith and believe every thing happened is for a reason

Oh and just saying talking to people through text isn't going to help your weight problem go make real friends not people on the Internet you will just feel worse later on

Look I think I know what you are going through before you had friends and people to talk to and when you moved it affected your emotions so you lost your self in depression and ate your feelings away thinking it would help somehow ,now you don't feel confident possibly on how you look or talk so that makes you scared to try making new friends not knowing how they will feel but you will never know unless you try so you should look for maybe people who run around your neighborhood or go to the gym and say hello to the person excircising next to you they will often after you say hello ask you about yourself or make a joke to start a conversation so you just go along with :-) hope I helped

i am in the same boat you are and i would like to also talk to you

I am heavy, too. I moved to a different town and find it difficult making frinds here. I thought what am I going to be doing this time next year? Eating! So I took control of what and how I ate. When I started loosing weight, I felt better about myself. My self-confidence came back and THAT is what people see, not the body so much. They see you are happy with yourself, confident. You have something to focus on besides stuffing your feelings. I also started treadmilling, have NEVER exercised a day in my life. That helps you feel better, feel like at least you are doing something positive. I was thinking in terms of looking better NEXT year and not preoccupied with instant results, that gave me the ability to stick with a diet plan.

If you were sociable before you clearly are not genetically predisposed to social anxiety, unlike me. So you can get friends and be sociable again! I know is not as easy to do as it is to say this(trust me, I have 0 friends) but you should at least keep hope.

I think it's a little weird that you were popular, therefore sociable, and now you're unable to make friends.
You should try to control your diet, eat less, go for walks and jogging. Feeling confortable in your own body will make you feel good mentally. Then, maybe you should try going more to public places, where you could meet new people and make friends, that willl really help you. Good luck :)

I'm still looking for a seriously sweet heart of a gal to love and be loved by for life.
Lets talk. Feel free to email me. : )

27yrs old and u say looking back at your life? You've barely lived; Your entire life is still in front of u. Dont look back theres nobody there Your life is in your hands if want to u will find someone to spend your life with, u will have children, u will have a friend to go out for coffee with that doesnt live a 3 hour plane ride away Its not to late! The glass is half full!

Change! You need it!

Guarantee you would feel the same back home as you do now
Its about being at home with yourself that makes everything else feel great :)

(I've done the same thing)

Good luck!

L

Is there any way you can move back to where you were originally? Sometimes things are just easier when you're in your element.

I do now know where you live but if it is anywhere close to me I will gladly buy you a cup of coffee and listen to what you have to say. ((((Hug))))

Why did u move in the first place? But yeah I know what u mean...

just pray :)

Hi
I'm lonely too
I'm in a world where everyone hates me

Wow same here but when u are young u can start over as many times as u want and u can always change your situation Unfortunately at my age I dont have many options but guess what? I havent given up!

Why haven't you made any friends where you live now? Make some moves, visit places where you can find people to befriend' start by inviting acquaintances and neighbors over for meals or shopping/movie trips, it works.

I think you displaced your feelings towards consuming food. It is natural, as i am, i was alone once and am frequently eating what all i got until i got diabetics and other diseases. It is really psychological, by developing a different attitude towards life like me you can become very happy. I developed passion in photography, to negate my loneliness. Now I am a photographer, but alone loving nature and its species. I think you can have me as an example to be happy. Now i dont mind of having anyone with me. Just take camera and rush all over to displace my sadness and intense anxiety.

I know its hard but believe me YOU can do it just take control and don't set your goals to high as each individual victory will spur you on and give you heart and in the meantime here is a big hug

I'm sorry you are feeling like this, but I really want to encourage you to make the effort to get out there and meet people. There are tons of community activities and volunteer opportunities. I had a boss once that made me so sad. She was the loneliest person I had ever met, and yet, she never made an effort to change anything. I promised myself I would never get like that. So don't reach the end of your life, like she did, with nobody. Go to the library, community center - anything - and meet people. You have to get out there.

You know a friend said no matter where you go you'll take what's in you with you. So don't think things change just because your environment does. It's obvious that what needs to change is what's inside but only you can make the choice to do it. You got a lot of good comments, but none of them can change anything about what's going on unless you decide you want it to. I'll be moving to California on April 1st. I'm in Texas now. I will only know the person I will be living with and his family. I'm 53. But I'm not running away anymore. I'm gonna change what's inside me. If I can do, so can you. Give it a try. You'll be amazed at what awaits you once you decide you control what happens to you!

go on twitter or facebook and search for Ruby gettinger.she is so inspirational.She weighed 715pounds and filled the void with food.She had a reality tv show abt her weightloss journey,

May I suggest that you think about joining Weight Watchers. Attend the weekly meetings then after a few weeks you will find yourself chit chatting with the gals around you. It is also a great place, when you get comfortable, to talk about filling the empty void in your life with food.

You could also think about joining a church. If you were not brought up in certain denomination or don't know where you belong visit a couple of different churches each week until you find one with the opportunities you would be interested in, people your age and worship music you like.

Buy a dog! You have to walk it two or three times a day (exercise!!). Buy the ugliest most character filled dog you can find and I guarantee HE will find you new friends. If you train him to do a cheesy trick, it will be good conversation opener. I once trained a dog to "Watch the Stick" while the other dogs were "fetching" my cousin's dog would watch the stick after you threw it. Funny and people LOVED it.

Start doing things you would do on dates! Take yourself out to eat and to movies. Go out for coffee. Take yourself to see a play. That is another thought to meet people. See if your community has a community theater. Besides actors they are in need of ushers, set builders, painters, back stage help. Something for any talent.

I can't really relate to this problem because iv'e never found comfort in food, but what i can relate to is the loneliness, It's a vicious circle that is hard to get out of,

My advice would be to try talking to guys on the internet, (make sure they're a real person and not a bad person), and ask them for a date, and just throw yourself in the deep end and go out and meet them.

It's what i did, And iv'e been with my boyfriend 2 years so far,

One day of anxiety - a lifetime partner..

Think about it x

*hugs*

i totally know what you mean and i understand how this works, but...you gotta move...out...i mean, no one is going to come looking for you in the dark dreary corners, no...you gotta go and make contact.

big hug from me! im here for you, even if you dont know me:) i have moved alot and am moveing again and i wonder if i can make it this time, if i can find friends and a life. i dont know if ill make it, but i think you will. you reached out, thats the first step.

Obviously moving away from all you're comfortable with has really disrupted your lifestyle.

And it will. We as human beings change when we're out of our comfort zone.



But once we learn to adjust to our new surroundings, things start to fall back into place, or are replaced with what you've come to terms with. I think the problem here is that you've approached this situation negativley and haven't let yourself accept it. It's been 5 years, and during that time, you haven't found the motivation to get out there and make this new place your living your home.



You keep reffering to how your life used to be, and what you used to have, but the thing is, there's no reason why you can't still have that. My advice, is that you have to take everything life throws at you and do your best to squeeze all the positives out of it. Take the place you moved to as a new experience, where you will get the chance to do things, see things and meet new people like you wouldn't have had the chance to do if you didn't move. Never let change get in the way of your own life, take it as a chance to try something new, or to get a change of perspective.



Food has been your comfort when you've had nothing else to turn to. So if you want to change this, then do it. Book yourself into the gym, or a diet club, whichever. you can set yourself a goal, and also meet new people in the process. Also, gain some confidence! Don't let worries drag you down. Everything happens for a reason. You could meet someone special, as a result of moving away and changing...you never know. Always look at these situations openly, because your life can take a turn at any moment. Telling yourself things won't happen just puts a negative spin on everything you do. And life is way to short for that.



So although you claim to not have much, make the most of what you do have. Its YOUR life, and im sure you, like everyone else, wants only the best out of it. So go make it the best it can be! Never hold back, you'll only regret it later.



Good luck :) You know what to do.