My Loneliness Is Killing Me Inside.
I'm so lonely it makes me depressed. I hardly have any friends and sometimes I wonder what is the point of living. Is there something wrong with me? Am I such a dislikeable person? I really don't understand. I am warm, caring, talkative, friendly and am well-educated with an interesting life. Yet no-one seems interested in getting to know me and socialising with me. I'm never invited to dinners, parties, weddings or anything. I used to have lots of friends in highschool and college but gradually they have all slipped away despite my efforts to stay in contact. I don't understand what has changed. I'm still the bubbly person I always was. Why don't they care about me any more?
The older I get, the harder it is to make new friends. No matter how much I make an effort to be sociable, it never results in long-lasting friendships. I don't look forward to weekends any more because I often don't have anyone to go out with. My phone sometimes doesn't ring for days. I prefer to be at work because at least I have people to talk to there. How pathetic is that?
Someone once said that loneliness is the worst form of poverty. They damn well got that right. I don't know what to do anymore. All I know is that I am happy when I am socialising with people, part of a group, feeling loved and respected. But this hasn't been the case for years now. I am not enjoying my life much at all. I am so miserable. I wish this would end.