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My Loneliness Is Killing Me Inside.

I'm so lonely it makes me depressed. I hardly have any friends and sometimes I wonder what is the point of living. Is there something wrong with me? Am I such a dislikeable person? I really don't understand. I am warm, caring, talkative, friendly and am well-educated with an interesting life. Yet no-one seems interested in getting to know me and socialising with me. I'm never invited to dinners, parties, weddings or anything. I used to have lots of friends in highschool and college but gradually they have all slipped away despite my efforts to stay in contact. I don't understand what has changed. I'm still the bubbly person I always was. Why don't they care about me any more? The older I get, the harder it is to make new friends. No matter how much I make an effort to be sociable, it never results in long-lasting friendships. I don't look forward to weekends any more because I often don't have anyone to go out with. My phone sometimes doesn't ring for days. I prefer to be at work because at least I have people to talk to there. How pathetic is that? Someone once said that loneliness is the worst form of poverty. They damn well got that right. I don't know what to do anymore. All I know is that I am happy when I am socialising with people, part of a group, feeling loved and respected. But this hasn't been the case for years now. I am not enjoying my life much at all. I am so miserable. I wish this would end.
Louey Louey 31-35, F 60 Responses Oct 5, 2007

Your Response


I heard in both stories I read that no one wants to know you.How interesting you are but know one is interested in your life.Etc. I realized a simple trick that is so attractive to people and by accident I fell upon it and I have people follow me to say hi , often ask to continue our interesting talk later...can they have my number. I often hear that "I don't know what it is about you but I feel I have always known u" "I don't know what it is about you but I felt a draw that I had to u right away and I feel I can tell u things"
The simple and life changing trick is......ask people about them.Ask about family, ask about details. If the conversation gets personal, ask what it feels like to...have lots of kids? Or work at your job?etc. How do u feel about life now compared to being a Newly weds or whatever. People r drawn to people who look them in the eye and genuinely want to know their imput about their own life. It compels them, they don't get that from anyone close to them. Their family and husband stop asking those questions. They are there and r mostly trying to shove their opinions down their loved ones throat.Those people r constantly telling her how she should feel. Unless u r paying a one gives a **** really.
The magic is that they are in love with themselves, your question,they feel they know you because talking to you out loud is everything they think about in their head so it's their own self they have known and finally get to express out loud their inner voice. U will notice how quick someone is to keep this conversation moving and laugh to yourself after they told u their whole life and feelings,they will leave saying how much they love your company and how great you r, then u will realize u never spoke once of yourself and they couldn't resight one thing of your life,on what basis do they feel the draw? It's the draw to themselves. I was so shy,I thought I was boring so I did the asking.....I get invited,and called,people stop over, I promise u....they also do all the work. By the way,I am nothing special.4 kids,overweight a bit,no job,no education and barely making it and my friends are from all walks of life.Its funny, I am a heterosexual women along with most of whom I meet and I get number just given to me often. I do better then the guys....just wanting an hour of talk....about their favorite subject....themselves

I've been very alone for a number of years now, and I too dread weekends as I feel condemned to perpetual silence. Even weekdays are a trial because I have begun to believe that no one I talk to particularly looks forward to seeing me. I try to be as kind as I know how, and I am not purposefully antagonistic toward people. I seem to bring people down apparently because my conversations gravitate toward bleakness. I don't really have anything else to talk about though, because my life consists of a slew of medical problems and loneliness. I am also extremely skinny, and people have told me that it freaks them out. Of course, I have no control over that. Free time has become something painful, and it is difficult to find purpose in something when your reward for perseverance is more misery. I often wish for someone to simply be in the same room as me. It wouldn't even bother me if we simply sat in silence, just as long as someone was there at all. That is too much to ask for though, apparently.

your story is my story, it is becoming a burden

I don't have no one either. I just try to survive in the hope of a better future. Maybe you should do the same.

Me too. I can understand your feelings. I also have nobody....

i know how you feel i have no one in my life
friends family girlfriend nothing i try being caring and nothing no one want to get to close to me and it's killing me
i have nothing and i cant keep it on any longer
i try helping my look make myself lose weight but nothing i have slimmed down alot but still little bigish but i get avoided
im talkative lad i help anyone out who needs help i even put myself in danger helping people
but no matter what i remain alone
i help not to gain anything but because it the right thing to do and i was always told that doing good to other and you shall reserve something good in return
but now i see that not true and everyday i wish to not wake up and every night i feel empty and cry because this hole in my soul is shouting out for someone and no one hears me
im on meds that messes with my weight my weight goes up and down one time i look average then look bigger what is not helping my conference but i need to take it

i just dont want to live anymore i hate life i living i see and hear horribe people finding someone to love and i think whats wrong with me why can they find someone be happy after all the nasty things they have done and i spend my time in sorrow
i on the edge at 24 and i cant doing anymore

Well, I really cried because its the same for me , although we are talkative and out going , no one seems to be interested in our personalities im just dying inside because I dont have any special friend or any one to ask about me , although I ask about every one around me ,

I think I might understand a little of your pain

Wow, what you wrote was so powerful.

Dear Louey.. alone is not lonely. But when we think someone that make us feel so lonely.. i miss someone that he never miss me.. i miss his chat but he never chat me.. i dont understand maybe he is not interesting with me.. the i feel so lonely even we have big room with full electronic but lonely still killing me.. i even waiting his text everynight..but he doesnt text me..tell me if u are lonely because u miss someone??how can we kill back the loneliness?? seems any people very lonely in the world even we have many things but the lonely is sickness that cant be save..juat one medicine for that..crying then sleep that can make me feel better after that..

Wooooow, your response was the best

Im 4 months out of a relationship. And i moved to a city so the ex could b with her family. Now she has gone i have nothing. Just a cat. Ive never felt so alone, i agree with the work thing but i fibd my current state pushes others away. I just cry n cry when im home. And i miss my ex so bad, i have nothing but time thinking about her, its not healthy. The only answer is to keep moving forwards and never giving up. I just want her to hold me... but she cant cos she no longer loves me. I met a girl and she ended up at mine and all i really wanted was company. But the next mornin i felt awfull cos it wasnt my ex waking up nxt to me. Sorry, this doesnt help u i guess. But things will get better if u allow them to.

I'm terribly sorry that you feel lonely Louey. I'm sure it must be quite difficult, especially because you are actually putting yourself out there to make friends. I have notice that it has become more difficult to make friends now a days; I don't know if it is technology or what. However, keep trying. There are tons of wonderful people out there, and while it is difficult to find such people, it is possible to find them. Try to keep your spirit high. And for whatever it is worth, I want you to know that I am always open to making new friends. Feel free to mssg me anytime.

I'm a marine I've been in two combat tours been in for over three years now. I had beautiful girlfriend, but it's been forever since she left me had an abortion....and life is eating me alive....I can't seem to find the joy in Anything and everyday it seems to get worse.

did u ever overcome the lonliness? i'm in the same situation and idk what to do and nobody talks to me..idk who to talk to and not having another human to converse with is driving me insane. sometimes i feel like jumping off a bridge. i just can't take being alone anymore..any advice?

I dont have any advice but at times I could use someone to talk to. Maybe we can talk to each other?

Don't be afraid to reach out. That's what this place is for.

be strong dear .... there is a lot to do in life.... u only can change ur life.... dont ignore things and dont just ignore ur life... life is beautiful... if nobody is there for u u become ur best friend and u love urself once u start this u will realise u dont need anyone

Wow, I notice this was posted five years ago. How are things working out for you? Have you found the connections and support you were looking for?

You know l was searching on 'my loneliness is killing me' and ended up here. I found it strange that everyone shares his or here own story of loneliness and depression while the person above is asking for advise. I think the huge problem in all these stories and my story is that we think to much about what other people think of us. The more we want to belong the more we feel disappointed and rejected. Just realise you are an unique person! Everyone is unique! Live your life, do the things you love and people will see you are you. When we try to hard to belong it does not wotk, because peple see or feel you are desperate vut when people see you are independent and strong on your own they find that much more atrractive. Let people come to you, you are worth it! Don't work so hard to belong to others. Go out of ypur comfort zone otherwise you never meet new people. Don't try to hard because than you might make a desperate impression. And when ypu are all alone know there is aGod above who loves you jusf the way you are!

PS...and to all of us, may God bless all of us and find us great friends to have quality time with! Hugs to you all!

I'm sitting here in my living room, and in my head I said, "My loneliness is killing me" I googled those words to see what came up. I can't get over so many people feeling the same way. Here's my story.

I've been a diabetic since I was 4 and was always singled out as a kid. I'm an only child. No one wanted to be my friend bc of my illness. The kids who would hang out with me, would also bully me when others were around, and they would leave me out of their circle.

In High School, I had some friends. After High School, I decided to be in bands, which led me to be a big fish in a very small pond. I had alot of "friends" bc of my status. But when I got screwed over by some band members who formed another band and became very successful, those "firends" were gone. Also, my health condition had become worse, I became temporarily blind. So now people stopped hanging out with me. At this time, I met a guy who didn't have many friends either, and even though we didn't have much in common, we ended up getting married. Since, my life has been completely lonely...for the past 20 years. The fact that he had no friends made matters worse. And, with as many cousins as I have, no one calls me to hang out with me. Everyone is too busy with their lives, their kids (so they say), and yet, they hang out with their own little group of friends.

My husband loves me very much, but I barely see him. He does not like to do the things that I like to do, like go out dancing, or horseback riding, does not like to celebrate Halloween...isn't into Holiday things...he's just not the type to socialize, always coming up with an excuse of why he doesn't like to do certain things. He goes out and plays with bands since he's also a musician...and it's all from my connections. He's always too busy (which he complains about), yet when I've suggested that he works with me as a duet, he says yes, but never acts on it. He enjoys being in a band setting instead of just a duo. I don't work bc I can't drive and this year things got worse bc I've had heart surgery twice, along with eye surgery.

I sit in a lonely house, in a neighborhood where no one talks to anyone. I don't want to hang out with negative people either. I am not a negative person, and have a great time when I go out. I'm limited bc of lack of money. Even as a couple, no one asks us over bc we never have money to do anything.

I believe in God. I thank Him constantly when I'm with people. I just wish people would hang out with me or come to my town. They don't come over bc "I can't find a parking space"...or "You live too far", or "You live in the ghetto". There are days and days when the phone doesn't ring, unless it's a telemarkerter or a doctor's office.

I can't stand my life. I hate the fact that I can't work, bc at least I would be with people. I"m tired of inviting people over and excuses being made. Everyone is too busy to come over. My husband is way too busy. He doesn't have enough hours in the day. He comes home, has dinner, practices when he can, if not, he tries to sit and watch TV with me, but falls asleep...and I don't blame him bc he's too tired. I don't see him on the weekends. Sometimes I"ll see him on a Sunday, and by that point, he's too tired to do anything, and frankly, I'm so depressed that at that point, I don't want to get dresssed to go out.

I wish I had kids. But I guess that doesn't end the loneliness.

I wish I had family. The few who I do talk to, live in other states.

So, since I'm ill, I have a hard time getting out, I have a hard time driving, and I'm tired of Facebook.

I want to have friends. Real friends that I have stuff in common with. Friends who don't have an attitude. Friends who will accept me with all my health conditions. I'm sorry I can't move to a nice neighborhood.

I'm tired. I'm lonely. I"m trying not to be depressed. But this is all I have.

Its is the same with me. It really sucks.
I feel very low quite a number of times.
If you know how to come out, Plz help me too

Louey, did you write this, or did I write it in my dream?
As I was perusing your post it looked as if I was reading my own life story. I am going trough exactly the same myself, and I don't understand why I cannot have any friends, or close friends!
I am one of the nicest persons anyone would like to have as a friend, I am friendly, caring, kind, a good listener, generous, always smiling (I hide my feelings well so as not to appear negative to people and out them off), but none of these qualities making any differences at all. I don't have any friends, and my family members don't contact me unless they need money!

I'm only 15, really young to be feeling this. I'm not dependent on others, in fact I've been raised to be very independent. Geez... I think the only time I've ever accepted money from someone other than a present or a family member (even that makes me feel dependent and i never ask for it, the might just hand it to me in thanks or something) was last week when a freshman offered me a dollar cause I was short on bus fare, help is the same. Otherwise I try and do things myself, unless my mom is involved, we're very close as she has been the only one to always be there. I've confided my troubles in a few people, but not many. I've made friends, had 2 great friends at my old school. But I moved and lost that support. This new school, while nice with nice enough people, started not-so-nicely. First person I met was a pretty girl, we chatted a bit and hung out at lunch for a while. But I met some of her friends and they couldn't help but insult me and the likes. Same happened almost anytime they saw me, especially if she was there. Met some other friends, hoped they would be good. They were, to an extent. But we haven't hung out this year and it doesn't feel as of we will. I'm hanging out with some of the "nerds" who are actually pretty cool. But still haven't found where I belong. I just... Can't find my place. And while I'm quite used to being alone and not accepting the help of others, even holding in all feelings until I eventually started pouring out to a few select individuals. Most I didn't know too well but I knew wouldn't say anything. But the feeling of being alone after quite some time and not having any thing more than a bunch of aquaitences. Eventually after I've graduated high school, maybe collage, after some money has been saved up, I'm gonna visit some countries special to me. Ireland and Belgium mostly, to try and find my roots and where my family comes from. Then go say hello to my dad and his side of the family in Norway. After that, off to the front lines in whichever war the US will be in by then and hopefully I don't die. Not sure why I'm telling you anonymous people this, probably cause I don't know you and it feels good to reveal my plans to someone. I can't tell my mom cause she has profusely stated that she would never want me to join the military at all. She wouldn't even try to understand and I want our relationship to go somewhat smoothly until I tell her. Hope she will still talk to me then... Anyway, wish me luck in my adventures. As I wish luck unto all of you also experiencing loneliness problems.

Sorry bout it being so long... I kinda.. ramble at times.

I'm 28 athletic body, did modeling before had lots of friends and girl friends, after my break up with my fiancé and several financial issues I became lonely. It's been 3 years now that I have not dated nor made any friend. I work alone, getting the complaints from costumes, than go home alone. Sometimes I don't want to go home cuz I know nobody is there. My job is very tiredfull some times on the weekends I want to make a move like calling someone I used to know and asking wt are they doing, but I feel shy or just to tired. One thing that makes me shy from calling is that every body moved on, got their degrees, nice jobs, some are married, others went to the military and I stayed behind doing labor work for minimum wage. Some times I drink alone at home till I pass out.

I was lonely when I was young. Had few freinds and was alone most summers with my mentally ill mother. When the school season rolled around, I was the kid who walked home alone, who sat at the cafeteria table alone and had no one to talk to in class. Part of this was because I didn't know social norms or protocol and was influenced by my sick mother. I felt 'weird' and I was perceived as weird and this created a vicious cycle. The more weird I felt the more weird people thought I was. The more weird they thought I was the more weird I felt. Finally, mercifully, around fifteen I met some kids who took a social risk and brought me around their group of freinds. As people got to know me they saw I wasn't weird, just shy. This created its own cycle. The more they liked me, the less weird I felt and the less weird i felt the more they liked me, etc. until one day, miraculously, I found myself part of a group. The cycle worked in reverse! Now, years later I find myself alone again and feeling like the demon hounds of my past are nipping at my heels. This is because I made a crucial mistake. I built my whole social infrastructure around my girlfriend of eight years and my best freind of ten years. I got comfortable and thought they'd never leave. Well, they did. Most of it was my fault or at least my illnesses fault. You see, I seemed to have inherited, or got from influencing factors, my moms mental problems. I ran both of my core support group away with aggressive and unpredictable behavior. I was diagnosed with bipolar and am now on stabilizing medication. Both of these people who were in my life now know of my condition, loved me at one time, but have chosen to move on and drive away without me in the proverbial car. I was left stranded by the side of the road clutching an empty can of gas. But now, I realize my mistakes. Two to be exact. One was that I relied to much on them and forgot how to rely on myself. The other mistake was I had built my entire social life around two people! It be like trying to support a house with only two support beams. Now I'm working on making my foundation the right way. I'm working on myself, taking my medication and learning how to be with myself. It is excruciating but there is no choice. I'm also building a social network which has many different people and activities in it. If for some reason one support beam fails I have another in its place. If I ever meet another intimate partner, and I hope I do, I will never dismantle completely my existing social support system. That way lonliness will be separated from me by many la<x>yers, not just a couple sheets of flimsy tissue.

i had no clue others felt as crappy as i do. I'm life is a mess and going no where fast. I did my best to get through nursing school and loved it. a year nad a half into my job i broke my back and now I am unemployed and useless again. I am a disappointment to my parents and a failure of a mother. I pray at night that i will not wake up. I really cannot take it much more.

as i was going through your story i got the feeling that you are describing me :(<br />
now a days m having the same feeling. i'm a lively person but still i'm alone. can't understand wot to do with this loneliness. i prefer the company of my cousins but they don't have enough time for me. i spend whole day in my room. i loved a girl in my university but afterwards i came to know that she was engaged i never told her about my feelings. i feel like "my loneliness is killing me"

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I am also on the same boat like many others. Although sometimes I enjoy and utilize my solitudeness I still want to get around with beautiful human beings who treat me with respect and sometimes take me seriously. <br />
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I almost live alone in my room though I have some housemates but ,still I don't spend much time with them and vice-versa. This feeling of loneliness is actually proving to be quite deterimental in my life. The losses that I am suffering at the moment are emotion,frendliness,youthless and joyless.<br />
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I always wonder if I could get the kind of group I always desire. But,it never happened or there was something wrong with me. Whatever, it is the bottom line is I have become reclusive without even demanding about it. <br />
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I really want to get rid out of this because I am not able to give my 100% in anything that I am thrilled to do. If someone,could come up with suitable suggestion please let me know. <br />
Have a good life to all the counterparts.

i want to suggest that please keep in mind that all in this world are not same.Try to utilize your loneliness.I am nepalese and have same problem.let us start to be one and start to establish a union of lonely suffers.Then we need not to suffer from it. let us do sth amazing to surprize the world.Start from you.

i want to suggest that please keep in mind that all in this world are not same.Try to utilize your loneliness.I am nepalese and have same problem.let us start to be one and start to establish a union of lonely suffers.Then we need not to suffer from it. let us do sth amazing to surprize the world.Start from you.

This story of yours is similarly the same as to what I feel right now...thank you. :(