I Want A Girlfriend

Being a 22-yo male, I've never really had a girlfriend (with the exception of a 1 1/2-yr online relationship, but that's it). I have been always shy when it comes to the opposite sex. I blame it on my childhood, especially bullying during elementary and middle school. I was teased for having a crush on a girl in elementary school, and to top it off, picked on by a girl.

I didn't have any serious problems with high school, and didn't care much for having a girlfriend; just studying hard and having some great friends (too they didn't care much for having g/fs).

However, when I got to college, my attitude started to change: maybe it's time to find a girlfriend. Every semester I had a crush on a girl in one of my classes, but it's either I fail to make a move on her, or she apparently looks like she's interested and talks to me for the semester, then I find out she has a b/f and we become "just friends". This has gone on for five straight years of my college career, up to my college graduation five/six months ago.

Here's the kicker: as of now both my siblings (younger and older sisters) are married, and having a wonderful love life. As for me... well... I... I feel lonely. I want a girlfriend, a real one (not online). A girl to share my life with, a girl to hold on to, a girl to share your feelings with. I wonder... what's it like to get your first kiss, or holding her hand for the first time? How about sleeping in bed with her, and losing your virginity to her? And all those wonderful things couples do? I'm guessing it must feel warm and comforting.

Today's media further fuels my loneliness: when I hear the term "so-and-so's girlfriend" in a TV show (not just celebs), my blood fills with envy. How... how come they are able to get g/fs and not me?

Is it easy as it sounds to get a girlfriend? People say "just be yourself," but it sounds counter-intuitive. My sisters tell me that girls find confidence sexy on a man. But then if you're shy and don't have much confidence in attracting girls and you "just be yourself," you're just wasting time because shyness is not sexy on a man. And if you try to be confident on the spot you risk looking dumb; you're not "being yourself." A catch 22.

It's even harder now that I'm a college graduate, my pool of potential women has lowered drastically.

... I... I'm feeling kind of sad. I just want a wonderful girl who'll support me emotionally, and knowing that I found someone who truly wants to be with you.

thebackup thebackup
13 Responses Oct 16, 2009

Lol am i the only one thats 15 and nah tuched boobs like srsly.Dont fall for that be yourself BS you need to push people arownd and be a bad *** but at the same time privetly tell them ur sory so that they dont hate you. Thats how you get girls and frends,just dont over-do it and be original.

You're not alone. I'm 22 and quite the shy type too. oh yeah and still haven't had my first kiss yet lol There's always someone out there for everyone. But you have to learn to love yourself first and accept the fact that what works for someone else might not always work for you. It's not true that girls only like uber confident men. You just haven't met someone who appreciates you for who you are. I say go work on yourself first or join a hobby club you love and maybe there you'll meet someone who shares the same passion as you. You don't need to change anything about yourself you just have to wholeheartedly embrace who you really are. That's
confidence. Good luck!!!

Hi Friend,
I am a woman of 26 years and I live in India. Although my mother and elder brother are very supportive as I am physically disable, yet when it comes to friends I don't have a true friend since my school days. And having a b/f forget it. You may know how it feels when you see that your closest friend is going out with her b/f. For people like me, it's more like a sin to have a b/f because the grotesque body of a disable bring same on her b/f. You are only shy, but that's not a big issue. The only thing you have to do is to wait patiently.When the right time will come your miss perfect will be just in front of your eyes. Just think about your and my situation------ "I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet”.

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I read each and every comment and i agree with all of them im in the 8th grade and i asked out a girl that could have been my 2nd gf in my life but i got shot down in the worst possible way(which i think) by a note passed from her brother who is my best friend the note said she didn't want to hurt my feelings and hope to be friends the worst part is she already had a boyfriend..its been 2weeks since then and during that time I've surrounded myself with girl taking to them and joking with them and a thought went through my head.. it was that every since i talked to the girls more I've been talking to cute girls and getting hugs from them also..So wat im sayin to you is to talk to the girls and jus let go over everything and also learn some jokes -8th grade guy

17 right here man and I have the same damn problem. Every girl I like, which isnt many I'm kinda picky, all had boyfriends. This isn't, oh hey want to go to see a movie Friday, no I have a bf, this is 10 mins into a conversation they mention the dude not just as a polite way just to say no. Because after that I usually have them in my classes and they talk to me without me initiating the convo. I'm a ok lookin dude which is why this infuriates me further (I'm 6`5 and 170 IBS, I'm fit) I look at fat guys or ugly guys and I just hate the injustice of the world. All I'm asking for is a girl who I think is pretty and likes metal or rock, which all the girls I like are, but they're taken. Just a laid back girl who doesn't mind my weird as **** self who I can just hold in my arms and love, is that too much to ****** ask?

Hey guys, Been through the same crap as you all, I have realized with anything in life you are not good at or can't get or do. Find someone who is good at it. The same applies to getting a Girlfriend, If your going to run a circus you need to go get the horses. Go find the experts on picking up women, David DeAngelo is good. Trust me about this, I had no clue how to attract women, I was blowing crap up in my face all the time....I made women run from me or not get turned on at all. There is an art to it...But it works. As for being Shy around girls...Be friends with alot of them, the more you talk to them the easier it is. And you don't have to try to be friends with the most attractive girl you find...go be friend the ugly ones, there nice and would be willing to be good friends, there just like you...Probably some of them have the same tastes. As for getting a girlfriend however, You can always end up in the friend zone, if you don't make a move sexually. That is true...But you gotta learn how to make them hot for you, Its all a psychological mind game really...But if you learn how to manipulate them...they will be begging you to go to bed with them, Looks, money don't matter... The love comes afterwards...if they honestly like you. Love is Friendship plus sex. If you don't have the sex, its just friendship, Hince why you guys are virgins or haven't kissed...Hince why you don't have a girlfriend. As for the comment Be yourself...It is true, surround yourself with women like you who you are attracted to...if they dont like you for who you are, no big deal move on...its not the end of the world there are Millions of people on this planet. As for learning how to pick up women, its a skill you aren't born with it, some people are better at it than others...EVERYTHING TAKES PRACTICE!!! No guy who was successful with women or has a girlfriend didn't not get turned down. It wont kill you to try... Even the most successful of guys was at one time a lonely rejected man. With yourself, looking for the right woman is like applying for the right job. You gotta find something you enjoy doing...starts with yourself.. work with yourself, get to know you, Love yourself, take care of your body, looks, hobbies, jobs, whole life...Do what you love the most take it to the max...find women who enjoy what you like doing...chances are they will like you for you...Most of the guys in my college career met girls because they didn't stay in the house...They went to tennis practice...and they took their sport to the best level they could, it was ironic how they ended up going to a party with some of the gals from the girls tennis team and what do you know, Some of the guys got married to those gals...They had something in common they both played tennis!!! So you got to approach it from that angle, if you always meet women who have nothing in common with you, they probably wont like you as a person and the friendship wont be there, Also you gotta learn how to attract women to you sexually, if you can't do that, you'll always be their friend...like I said love is friendship plus sex...without the sex, there can be no love between a man and a woman..they would part their separate ways...Good luck and have fun...thats what life is about and doing things that make us uncomfortable...SO get out there and make it happen the only thing stopping you is you

Television and Movies constantly lie to you. They make it seem that getting a boyfriend or girlfriend is the easiest thing to do. Perhaps for a select few, finding a partner comes naturally. However, for the majority, it is at best difficult, and for some (like me), it is a nearly impossible task. I am a tall, highly educated SWM 48 who has traveled around the world and has had some success in my career. I also believed that I would meet a god woman who could appreciate a good man, but it has never happened. I have never had a girlfriend. I have had numerous friendships with women, but was never seen as anything more. You have a lot of company; more than you can imagine.

who say it is hard...wait and wait you will met your dream partner

hi. i Know what its like to be lonely. im 26 and just seeking a girl friend to settle down with. but all i find is onces that want to club or just have wild flings. im over all that i want to get married and have a lovingfamily of my own. y is it so dam hard. if there is any single girls near toowoomba australia wanting the same thing please seek me out

I can honestly relate.I,too,am very lonely.I'm a 24 year old woman and i know im not ugly or anything like that.people tell me i'm gorgeous all the time but i cant seem to find love either.Only old men,crazy men or convicts or married men seem to want me.i have lots of friends but no special someone.I get really depressed over it sometimes.Even complete strangers think I'm funny and cool.I just dont understand why I'm always in the friend box when it comes to any of the decent opposite sex.Good luck to you.

in this world everyone said you will meet your dream partner soon...

Wtf, you a girl and your lonely?How is that eaven possible?Just find a guy with low starderds and ask him to be his slave,im sure ur relarionship will work olt fine.No joke tho bing a girl is so easy,you can just walk to guy and ask him to **** you and 50% of the time it will work olt.Im a boy tho so I gota go with mask just incase things dont turn olt right wen i ask them lol.

Can I put in a woman's POV? :) <br />
<br />
I'm lonely, too. I've had boyfriend's before, but they all turned out to be jerks. I'm not sure why you haven't found anyone, as you seem to be quite sweet. I think any girl would be lucky to have you, although I will admit that I know little about you. But just from this post, I am rooting for you!!

I feel the same way. I'm 33, and haven't had my first kiss yet. Or even held hands. My elder sister is married. All my cousins are married, or in serious relationships. And I don't get on well with them anyway, mainly because they still bully me about not having a girlfriend. Everyone I've had an aquantience with ... I can't say I've really had any friends in my life ... everyone is married, starting their own families, and don't have time for a single friend (or so they've said anyway). It hurts to see couples together. Holding hands. When you don't know what that's like. I've tried to 'be myself' too, but, that never works. I've lost count of the number of times I've been told that 'myself' just isn't good enough. So I've tried to be like other people too. Put on a mask of happiness. Pretended to be confident. You know. Fake it! But that dosn't work either. Get called a faker. And I feel like a lier. To others. And to myself. So I don't know. At 33 the pool of single women is even less. I've tried dating and friendship websites, newspaper ads, groups, hobbies, clubs, sports, volunteering, work, study classes .... I just don't fit in anywhere.

It will be alright dude.

Well, I wrote that 5 years ago, and it hasn't been "alright". If anything, it's only gotten worse ....

I feel your pain, every time is see someone together holding hands and kissing I just am so sad just thinking how can I get this girl

Yes. Same here.

hi man.. ya it truely sucks to see young couples everywhere..and young pretty girls walking around with nice booties LOL...and you just dont have the confidence to talk or look at them... I feel like im not good enough....I think "she can find a better man" im not good enough for her....she will find someone "better" I shouldnt even try...

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