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Someone Please Read.

I'm not sure why I'm doing this or what I hope to achieve..I found myself typing 'I'm lonely' into Google this evening and am wondering if I've finally lost it.  I'm typing and constantly stopping to wipe tears away..I think I'm crying because I'm sharing this.  I'm 36 and Mum to a lovely 6 year old girl, it's just the two of us..she's fabulous but I'm so lonely.  I crave someone to be with so badly I just don't know if I can take much more of this.

There was someone so dear to me who went from my life quite a few years ago now and I bumped into a mutal friend yesterday, he told me how well he's getting on etc and though I was pleased to hear all is well for him I find today I am inconsolable..I'm lonely every night but tonight just feels too much, this is so hard to share this I always find it hard to ask for help..typing this anonomously is the only way I can..and even now I'm holding back and I don't know WHY..I'm afraid I'm going to be alone forever and just want someone to love and to love me..I had that and I blew it, too young and stupid..Little did I know what I was throwing away...

I can't stop crying now the tears are flowing, I don't suppose this is much of a 'story' is it..ha...I think i just need to feel I'm not alone, I would give anything right now for someone to hold, I feel so unloveable and unwanted, it doesn't feel good.  I had it all, and now I have nothing.  Money means nothing.  A house means nothing.  A good career means nothing!! All these things I have and tehy mean NOTHING if your life has not got love, if you're not connected to another human being..I would give everythng I have right now and I know I would, please believe I'm not jsut saying that, everything my house my money al the stuff that does not matter..for five minutes with him to tell him how sorry I am..and how I regret every day for eleven years now what I did.  I was so messed up. 

I think I'd kill for a hug right now... *half-smile*

Sorry for waffling on,

J

tooproud tooproud 31-35, F 492 Responses Nov 15, 2009

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written on 2009 I hope things change better for you.

hi there tooproud me his adult baby 247 so would you wike to chat with me fwiend baby Michael glencoe2

sorry to hear ur hardships but its the same for millions of people.be patient theres someone looking for u.

to proud im here to encourage u.i have survived two marriages and i get up and bless the good lord for a new day.im stubborn and refuse my past to interfere with my future its all in the mind.

You got a lot of responses.

There are many other possibilities.

well at least you're in your own country :) probably in your own home. no matter how lonely you are ppl speak your same language, and i'm sure no one looks at you negatively on first appearance from way down the street, for being a foriegner, your kid i take it speaks your same language, you have a choice and could potentially have a social life. Be thankful for that. it could be much, much more worse...

oh and you became a mom at the ideal age. you're not a social problem, that's for sure.

not being connected to another human being is loneliness personified,in my personal opinion,a hug with love cannot be bought.

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with desire and a heart like yours you will find a perfect person :) dont focus on just that guy, if he left your life he wasnt the right one. trust me, youll find him.

Please don't despair. Things will change because they always do. You do not know what tomorrow will bring. I agree with others - find a church or community event like even adult classes in something, anything, just to disrupt your routine. You have no idea what happens when you take that left turn as opposed to the right you normally take. You will find that as you occupy yourself with new things then exciting things will happen. Give it time, too.

A lot of us feel the same way. Look at all of us, lol. So many have loved & lost. I lost one to the Lord many years back & when I thought I had found love again, I felt like you, like nothing mattered as far as money or career as long as we had love but come to find it wasn't enough. His love was not as true as mine which is why he didn't work as hard as I did. In the end he hurt me & made me have to leave my home. I was better off alone. I am alone now & know I am better off but yes I still wish it could have been different. I wish I could be loved but I acknowledge that most modern men don't want love. They just want a good time & even worse, some wish to take advantage. I pray God will send me a good man. Maybe he will, maybe he won't but I have too much integrity to be just a Tuesday night good time so I am alone as are many of us. It's good to talk about it. I can't say anything magical other than at least we can all be alone together on here. Oh here's the magic, at least you have a lovely daughter. I don't have that. I wish I did. God bless. <3

Please don't be sad.
Something that will make you not alone is a pet. A dog, or a cat.
A dog will be more loving, care for you. It will be so very happy when you get home from work and will make a big fuss of you.
A cat is less effort (no walks, no training) but they can leave you and will not be as loving.

You say you have money, money is enough to buy a dog or a cat. If you live in England, go to the next Discover Dogs where everyone will help you find the perfect breed and such. You could even make some new friends.

If not,
Get out there, join something.
A club (book club, computer club, whatever).
Go to the local park and chat to someone.
If your desperate, do online dating!!!

My dear you are never alone.
God is always with you!))
You know sometimes people need hugs))) it is even scientifically proved that every person needs ab 4-5 hugs a day to feel happy))))
You know everybody has an angel on his right shoulder, who writes everything you do an everything you ask. Ask for a permanent and decent partner, and you will met him!)
I wish you health first of all!!!
Be happy;););)

You are not waffling on and I so feel your pain on so many levels, as I too am feeling the way you feel right now. I did exactly what you did, by typing "I'm lonely" into google, so I understand your needs!!

I have just lost my significant other to cancer and the emptiness and loneliness I feel is unbearable!! It makes me question my own mortality and at my age, I have to question the reason for living!! He was the best hugger on the planet and he loved to cuddle and I miss this so much!!

Besides having lost my partner, I have lost both my parents, my late husband and four dear friends that have died in the past 10 years. It seems that everybody I truly loved and cared for is no longer here on earth and I am more alone then I have ever been.

You are still so young and have so much to live for, particularly most importantly your beautiful daughter!!

I understand that you feel that you will never find anybody to love you. I've been in your position before, and I can say that this is not true. Somehow, somewhere, somebody will come into your life and love you the way you deserve to be loved. I know this because this has happened to me and it can happen to you too!!

Sometimes, you have to make things happen and you can do this by putting yourself out there. Maybe joining a free dating site such as Plenty of Fish is the way to go!! If nothing else, you can meet and chat to new people and if it is meant to be, you could find the man of your dreams. Just be warned though, that there are some people out there that will take advantage of your vulnerabilities, so be careful not to reveal too much about yourself, until you are confident that the person you are chatting to is for real!! I personally have met some wonderful people on dating sites in the past that are still friends now after many years!!

I am sending you a little poem that I wrote and hope that this gives you some level of comfort and understanding!!

Biggest hugs ever!!

Color Me

Color me with compassion in softest blues
To comprehend your pain with gentle hues
Tinged with brightest yellow to make you smile
Sprinkled with silver starlight to beguile

Color me with passions in shades of red
To ignite your love with sparks that spread
Flecked with deepest purple to feed your soul
Dusted with golden light to console

Color me with patience in mellow tones of earth
To comfort you with reminders of your worth
Imbued with soothing green to calm your mind
Diffused with pearly white to unwind

Color me with optimism in prisms of light
To free your spirit and give it flight
Streaked with touching pink to help you cope
Layered in rainbow tones to give you hope

Found myself doing the same tonite.. Googled why im so sad .. Never thought i would do that im 16 years old never thought i would ever be a kid that does nothing but smile. I was wrong. Crazy life we live god bless.

Don't give up and remember you have someone that will love you forever - your child !!

I decided to join EP after reading your post. I totally understand what you are going through. Before reading your post I never thought anyone would understand me. I am so lonely and full of pain and hurt that I am just hoping and praying that God will take me away and end this misery. I hope you are feeling better than I am. Good luck to you. I don't know how things work here but I hope you can message me if you can.

Oh sweetheart, it sounds like you are really hurting. Remember though that you have your daughter, some people have no one. I think the best thing to do is to help others who you think are lonely too...taking your mind off yourself and helping someone can make you feel so much less lonely. Maybe you could volunteer with the elderly, or young children.

Hang in there, many people in similar situation, we all need love and hugs.

If a heart breaks and no one hears it... then its your own. If a tear falls and you don't see it.. then don't believe in sadness. Even when your home alone your emotions roam to be with another. Smile for the things you have so that when your alone you know you don't have to be.

I was in that position once. Loneliness is an awful burden to carry and doesn't go away easily. All I can say is you're not alone. There are people here that know how it feels and you have a little girl who loves you so much.

You have your kid to love. Hold onto that. Maybe you can join a club or volunteer to meet people. That is what I did and it got rid of the loneliness

hi hun i think your story is what man of us are afraid to say out loud thats why you used the computer i think you should not be sorry for what happened in the past but get used to the future your daughter is what you have and compared to what some has it is a lot i know its not what you want to hear but if you are capable of walking and doing household tasks then you have a chance to enjoy some good times plan a lot of things to do with your little one and get meeting people not for relationships but for ordinary chats and soon you will not feel so alone ....i wish you the very best and great years to come and make lots of memories for you and your kin .....xxxxx

You posted this quite a few years ago. I hope you are better. I've been there, felt what you feel. If you need to talk, message me and we can talk, maybe I can help :)

Add me as well.

Many here share the same feeling I have no children and both of the girls I loved were killed very early in life I lost both of them at the age of 19 Roberta we had been with each other from the age of 11and married young but we knew we would never have children Cathy and I became friends a few years after I got out of the hospital due to a plane crash we had been with each other for just about 2 years when she was killed by her ex at age 19

How amazing that I share your status right now! only that I have never regretted any of my break ups! but sure it would feel nice to have someone who truly cares and can share your love. Don't despair you can still find love and feel loved if you move on like your ex and open up to new love.

Hi J...WOW
I cant believe i have just read my own thoughts...I also am feeling very lonely tonight and was just sitting staring at Google, where I typed "I am lonely: and saw your post.
I am a single dad to a beautiful 4 year old girl who is my life, but that is it...I also would love a...
WOW WOW i cant believe

My first wife was killed at age 19 in 1967at the age of 19, we had been with each other from the age of 11, she was killed by a VC child bomb my second love was also killed at age 19 just two weeks before she became my wife, she was killed by her ex after a navy chaplain set up an appoint to talk with Kath about going back to her ex, but he was late she was kidnaped and taken to Texas where she appears of have died in the truck of his mother's car after he was in a car accident and killed 2 more people. atthe time her ex was underarrest for raping of a child but mommy and day paid for his charter plane

You are not alone I identify with every word , your prince will come it just wasnt him , love yourself in the meanwhile , no one can love you if you despise yourself and give as much of your love and time to your little one as you can , how lucky you are to have her ? Let that inner person come out and shine , she is beautiful , soon enough someone will see your worth , hugs (. ) (. )

Leaves a coupon for free hugs

I understand your position completely. I'm a single dad of a beautiful 8 year old daughter who is my world but would love to meet someone to share our life's with. Never thought I was lonely till I read your story and it makes sense to me, thanks for giving me new ideas to move myself forward.