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Someone Please Read.

I'm not sure why I'm doing this or what I hope to achieve..I found myself typing 'I'm lonely' into Google this evening and am wondering if I've finally lost it.  I'm typing and constantly stopping to wipe tears away..I think I'm crying because I'm sharing this.  I'm 36 and Mum to a lovely 6 year old girl, it's just the two of us..she's fabulous but I'm so lonely.  I crave someone to be with so badly I just don't know if I can take much more of this.

There was someone so dear to me who went from my life quite a few years ago now and I bumped into a mutal friend yesterday, he told me how well he's getting on etc and though I was pleased to hear all is well for him I find today I am inconsolable..I'm lonely every night but tonight just feels too much, this is so hard to share this I always find it hard to ask for help..typing this anonomously is the only way I can..and even now I'm holding back and I don't know WHY..I'm afraid I'm going to be alone forever and just want someone to love and to love me..I had that and I blew it, too young and stupid..Little did I know what I was throwing away...

I can't stop crying now the tears are flowing, I don't suppose this is much of a 'story' is it..ha...I think i just need to feel I'm not alone, I would give anything right now for someone to hold, I feel so unloveable and unwanted, it doesn't feel good.  I had it all, and now I have nothing.  Money means nothing.  A house means nothing.  A good career means nothing!! All these things I have and tehy mean NOTHING if your life has not got love, if you're not connected to another human being..I would give everythng I have right now and I know I would, please believe I'm not jsut saying that, everything my house my money al the stuff that does not matter..for five minutes with him to tell him how sorry I am..and how I regret every day for eleven years now what I did.  I was so messed up. 

I think I'd kill for a hug right now... *half-smile*

Sorry for waffling on,

J

tooproud tooproud 31-35, F 490 Responses Nov 15, 2009

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I'm crying too. I have no close family or friends who understand the pain of parental estrangement. My one and only child, son age 23, refuses to have anything to do with me after my devoting his entire growing up years to raising him. I am not employed and have no one to turn to for diversion or distraction. Sick of therapists. I do volunteer some, but it's so hard to make new friends in one's early 60s. Do any of you cope with parental estrangement?

Perhaps you are facing the loneliness your pride has hidden from you, and you're looking for a connection to face the loneliness.

written on 2009 I hope things change better for you.

hi there tooproud me his adult baby 247 so would you wike to chat with me fwiend baby Michael glencoe2

sorry to hear ur hardships but its the same for millions of people.be patient theres someone looking for u.

to proud im here to encourage u.i have survived two marriages and i get up and bless the good lord for a new day.im stubborn and refuse my past to interfere with my future its all in the mind.

You got a lot of responses.

There are many other possibilities.

well at least you're in your own country :) probably in your own home. no matter how lonely you are ppl speak your same language, and i'm sure no one looks at you negatively on first appearance from way down the street, for being a foriegner, your kid i take it speaks your same language, you have a choice and could potentially have a social life. Be thankful for that. it could be much, much more worse...

oh and you became a mom at the ideal age. you're not a social problem, that's for sure.

not being connected to another human being is loneliness personified,in my personal opinion,a hug with love cannot be bought.

Add a response...

with desire and a heart like yours you will find a perfect person :) dont focus on just that guy, if he left your life he wasnt the right one. trust me, youll find him.

Please don't despair. Things will change because they always do. You do not know what tomorrow will bring. I agree with others - find a church or community event like even adult classes in something, anything, just to disrupt your routine. You have no idea what happens when you take that left turn as opposed to the right you normally take. You will find that as you occupy yourself with new things then exciting things will happen. Give it time, too.

A lot of us feel the same way. Look at all of us, lol. So many have loved & lost. I lost one to the Lord many years back & when I thought I had found love again, I felt like you, like nothing mattered as far as money or career as long as we had love but come to find it wasn't enough. His love was not as true as mine which is why he didn't work as hard as I did. In the end he hurt me & made me have to leave my home. I was better off alone. I am alone now & know I am better off but yes I still wish it could have been different. I wish I could be loved but I acknowledge that most modern men don't want love. They just want a good time & even worse, some wish to take advantage. I pray God will send me a good man. Maybe he will, maybe he won't but I have too much integrity to be just a Tuesday night good time so I am alone as are many of us. It's good to talk about it. I can't say anything magical other than at least we can all be alone together on here. Oh here's the magic, at least you have a lovely daughter. I don't have that. I wish I did. God bless. <3

Please don't be sad.
Something that will make you not alone is a pet. A dog, or a cat.
A dog will be more loving, care for you. It will be so very happy when you get home from work and will make a big fuss of you.
A cat is less effort (no walks, no training) but they can leave you and will not be as loving.

You say you have money, money is enough to buy a dog or a cat. If you live in England, go to the next Discover Dogs where everyone will help you find the perfect breed and such. You could even make some new friends.

If not,
Get out there, join something.
A club (book club, computer club, whatever).
Go to the local park and chat to someone.
If your desperate, do online dating!!!

My dear you are never alone.
God is always with you!))
You know sometimes people need hugs))) it is even scientifically proved that every person needs ab 4-5 hugs a day to feel happy))))
You know everybody has an angel on his right shoulder, who writes everything you do an everything you ask. Ask for a permanent and decent partner, and you will met him!)
I wish you health first of all!!!
Be happy;););)

You are not waffling on and I so feel your pain on so many levels, as I too am feeling the way you feel right now. I did exactly what you did, by typing "I'm lonely" into google, so I understand your needs!!

I have just lost my significant other to cancer and the emptiness and loneliness I feel is unbearable!! It makes me question my own mortality and at my age, I have to question the reason for living!! He was the best hugger on the planet and he loved to cuddle and I miss this so much!!

Besides having lost my partner, I have lost both my parents, my late husband and four dear friends that have died in the past 10 years. It seems that everybody I truly loved and cared for is no longer here on earth and I am more alone then I have ever been.

You are still so young and have so much to live for, particularly most importantly your beautiful daughter!!

I understand that you feel that you will never find anybody to love you. I've been in your position before, and I can say that this is not true. Somehow, somewhere, somebody will come into your life and love you the way you deserve to be loved. I know this because this has happened to me and it can happen to you too!!

Sometimes, you have to make things happen and you can do this by putting yourself out there. Maybe joining a free dating site such as Plenty of Fish is the way to go!! If nothing else, you can meet and chat to new people and if it is meant to be, you could find the man of your dreams. Just be warned though, that there are some people out there that will take advantage of your vulnerabilities, so be careful not to reveal too much about yourself, until you are confident that the person you are chatting to is for real!! I personally have met some wonderful people on dating sites in the past that are still friends now after many years!!

I am sending you a little poem that I wrote and hope that this gives you some level of comfort and understanding!!

Biggest hugs ever!!

Color Me

Color me with compassion in softest blues
To comprehend your pain with gentle hues
Tinged with brightest yellow to make you smile
Sprinkled with silver starlight to beguile

Color me with passions in shades of red
To ignite your love with sparks that spread
Flecked with deepest purple to feed your soul
Dusted with golden light to console

Color me with patience in mellow tones of earth
To comfort you with reminders of your worth
Imbued with soothing green to calm your mind
Diffused with pearly white to unwind

Color me with optimism in prisms of light
To free your spirit and give it flight
Streaked with touching pink to help you cope
Layered in rainbow tones to give you hope

Found myself doing the same tonite.. Googled why im so sad .. Never thought i would do that im 16 years old never thought i would ever be a kid that does nothing but smile. I was wrong. Crazy life we live god bless.

Don't give up and remember you have someone that will love you forever - your child !!

I decided to join EP after reading your post. I totally understand what you are going through. Before reading your post I never thought anyone would understand me. I am so lonely and full of pain and hurt that I am just hoping and praying that God will take me away and end this misery. I hope you are feeling better than I am. Good luck to you. I don't know how things work here but I hope you can message me if you can.

Oh sweetheart, it sounds like you are really hurting. Remember though that you have your daughter, some people have no one. I think the best thing to do is to help others who you think are lonely too...taking your mind off yourself and helping someone can make you feel so much less lonely. Maybe you could volunteer with the elderly, or young children.

Hang in there, many people in similar situation, we all need love and hugs.

If a heart breaks and no one hears it... then its your own. If a tear falls and you don't see it.. then don't believe in sadness. Even when your home alone your emotions roam to be with another. Smile for the things you have so that when your alone you know you don't have to be.

I was in that position once. Loneliness is an awful burden to carry and doesn't go away easily. All I can say is you're not alone. There are people here that know how it feels and you have a little girl who loves you so much.

You have your kid to love. Hold onto that. Maybe you can join a club or volunteer to meet people. That is what I did and it got rid of the loneliness

hi hun i think your story is what man of us are afraid to say out loud thats why you used the computer i think you should not be sorry for what happened in the past but get used to the future your daughter is what you have and compared to what some has it is a lot i know its not what you want to hear but if you are capable of walking and doing household tasks then you have a chance to enjoy some good times plan a lot of things to do with your little one and get meeting people not for relationships but for ordinary chats and soon you will not feel so alone ....i wish you the very best and great years to come and make lots of memories for you and your kin .....xxxxx

You posted this quite a few years ago. I hope you are better. I've been there, felt what you feel. If you need to talk, message me and we can talk, maybe I can help :)

Add me as well.

Many here share the same feeling I have no children and both of the girls I loved were killed very early in life I lost both of them at the age of 19 Roberta we had been with each other from the age of 11and married young but we knew we would never have children Cathy and I became friends a few years after I got out of the hospital due to a plane crash we had been with each other for just about 2 years when she was killed by her ex at age 19

How amazing that I share your status right now! only that I have never regretted any of my break ups! but sure it would feel nice to have someone who truly cares and can share your love. Don't despair you can still find love and feel loved if you move on like your ex and open up to new love.

Hi J...WOW
I cant believe i have just read my own thoughts...I also am feeling very lonely tonight and was just sitting staring at Google, where I typed "I am lonely: and saw your post.
I am a single dad to a beautiful 4 year old girl who is my life, but that is it...I also would love a...
WOW WOW i cant believe

My first wife was killed at age 19 in 1967at the age of 19, we had been with each other from the age of 11, she was killed by a VC child bomb my second love was also killed at age 19 just two weeks before she became my wife, she was killed by her ex after a navy chaplain set up an appoint to talk with Kath about going back to her ex, but he was late she was kidnaped and taken to Texas where she appears of have died in the truck of his mother's car after he was in a car accident and killed 2 more people. atthe time her ex was underarrest for raping of a child but mommy and day paid for his charter plane

Leaves a coupon for free hugs

I understand your position completely. I'm a single dad of a beautiful 8 year old daughter who is my world but would love to meet someone to share our life's with. Never thought I was lonely till I read your story and it makes sense to me, thanks for giving me new ideas to move myself forward.

Heh, your story is almost exactly like mine...if you ever need to talk I will be here for you...btw there is nothing wrong with you whatsoever don't ever blame yourself and I know what you mean about nothing else mattering but love, it's all I have ever wanted.

Awe...sending hugs to you J!

Aww honey. I know you probably want a man, but I can definitely be a friend. Good girlfriends are always good to have. :) if you ever want to talk or feel like making a new friend, inbox me. Hang in there. <3

At least you aren't in my shoes. It's impossible for me to connect to anyone.

We can switch. I'll take the money and career. I just don't want to be a caretaker anymore.

Love to have you

Don't kill for a hug. There are people who are willing to give you one. :D

Hey tooproud, I agree with your sentiment that money and material wealth mean nothing. I am also so desperately lonely, ad not knowing what to do about it. I am not a closed off person, but I find it hard to connect to people on any kind of meaningful level. Even though I have loved and lost, it is not holding me back. What is holding me back is my inability to go "out there" and meet people. I have all the money and "stuff" I need, but it does not help. Be in touch. NS

I feel the same way. I am bipolar with borderline personality disorder. I feel so alone. I just bought a new house but feel so depressed I can't enjoy it. Today is a very sad, lonely day for me. It hurts to be alive, so painful.

My heart goes out to you. I am a caretaker of a paraplegic (ten years now). While I still have a life of a kind, I have no one at home to share life with. He has withdrawn from everything except our kids and now our grandchild. I hope you find (have found, since your original post was some years ago) a life partner by now, or at least someone to enjoy life with. I would be content with someone who shares my interest in food, theater, and fun.

Thanks for your sharing.
I share the same loneness with you, feel desperated, hopeless......., but I can't give up. I just drunk last night, and I'm back to "myself " today, I have aging parent to care, I have young, lovely dauhter to care. I'm lonely, but I have someone in my heart, even I don't want them know how I feel....

Its too late now as you wrote this some time ago. I do hope your life has turned around for you. I am very lonely even though I see my daughter every week and have 2 friends that I also see every week. I find it hard to make friends.
I met my lovely husband when I was 16, got married at 17, had our first son at 18. Life was perfect. I had another son the following year, then another 5 years later and a daughter 2 years foloowing. Life was wonderful we were a very happy family. My husband got cancer and struggled with it for 6 years before dying. My life was dreadful. Then four years later my youngest son died, he was run over, he was almost 25. 18 months later my Mum died. 12 years later my second son died, he had a brain haemorrhage, didnt know a thing, aged 43.
I pretend that I am okay with the family, but I am not.

i read your post because I found myself Googling "I'm lonely" recently as well thank you for sharing

this story is 2009s, i hope you are better already

Sorry babes I could understand how u feel but not exactly u are not alone am lonely too I don't know if will ever have a partner and kids.

I can hear in my head all the " advise " that is given for times like these. However it's given by those who have or just found someone. The idea of another day alone, talking to ourselves or watching a world go by that we don't seem to belong in, hurts to the core. They don't understand or know, by our own actions or just life being unfair our hearts are seemingly forever broke. Nothing shines as it did or feels warm as yesterday. I love, I cherish and I find peace in thinking someone is there with me. Now I too am looking for either a day I am dead or for a diving change that tells me the lonliness is over. I can fool my self to think that but inside know it's gonna be another day of being alone. Wishing and condeming myself for it. Your not alone but I won't say it's all over cause it's not for me either. But to sound cliche hang in there and sometimes the sun of the next day does feel good.

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong but sometimes it is letting go”
― Hermann Hesse

You are not alone.. Honest. There have been periodic episodes in my life when ,,just leaving the house seems too difficult. If your not on any medication then (whatever your politics regarding anti depressants) maybe consider giving one a go. I have tried almost every one but have,,.. (after a long period of taking nothing) found the one which suits me. Whenever I get really low I think of others far worse off. Keep going and just as Winston churchill once said 'never never never,,give in(up)' Although he may have been considered an alcoholic he saved the world (in my opinion) from becoming (potentially)'the third reich'. Be strong. Tc

Yep I hate being alone as well, it always seem to make it better when someone is there to hold you.If I were you i'd tell your baby you love her every day or minute if it helps. Try be be positive in every aspect of life. When I am sad I play with my sisters kids and it always makes me feel better.Might not be with you but in a way I got your back.Keep smiling be proud and you are not alone in this as you think

This story caught my attention and my heart. I must have a big heart because I would love to help everyone who is lonely and needs love. I am lonely and need love. If there is anything that I can do just let me know, seriously! Whether it is just to be your friend or more than a friend I am here for you. Just reach out to me and you will find my hand there.

Just hold on and it will come to you.... One day I found myself sitting in the shower, water pouring down saying "why isn't there anyone for me!" But I did find someone. So will you.

{Hug}. No words, just hug.

If only it were as easy as just finding someone else like this and being with them...I wish :(

I am so sorry for your pain. If you ever want to talk, let me know
Dennis

That's so sad. I want to reach out and hug you and cry with you.

I hope youre still alive. Seriously. If you are check back on this and see how it has passed. It does. Life is for the living and your child needed you then still does. You should post how things are now. We all feel despair but it cant last forever. God im about to dive headfirst back to my old friend if I let it happen. Tell us how its better?

All of us feel lonely, that is why we end up here. There is no loneliness here :)

Take it easy and relax. Your not alone. What about your little sweetheart? She count's right? Look if you need someone to confide in then just skype me bloodmist2 ok

I know the way that you feel. I feel the same way but with me the child is my deceased daughters child and the man I lost was my husband of 34 years. I cry and cry. I'm amazed that there are that many tears. But my point is sometimes we end up in this deep black hole of despair. Please don't regret your little girl. She is a spark of light in the darkness. You can't turn back time. You are where you are. You have to try to find a way to find someone. If he has moved on he is not an option. Don't give up reach out to people even if you have to ask a friend if they know someone. Don't ever give up.

U shldn't dwell on past mistakes.knw exactly what u need. Send me a mail so we can chat properly. Tink i'm interested in u.

Trust me My dear
Stop crying now
Only you need close your eyes
Take a deep breath
Remember happy moments and success in your life
Look for yourself and you're in the best situation
Look into the light and let the dark

Appreciate what you have, your daughter. Above all pour ur heart to GOD and he will comfort u

Xoxoxoxo! Your not alone girl. But stop beating yourself up an love yourself for a min. Its hard wont happen over night but you might like the person you grew to realy be hell you might even love her ;)

hey there if your lonely you can text me anytime to talk 302-344-7666 okay her for you or anyone needs to talk

Trust me, i know the feeling all too well. A lot of my stories are about the same situation. I know how sucky seemingly having nobody who cares can be. If you need someone to talk to i'm here. I could also use a hug

Dear J,
I too have experienced the severe lonliness and typing lonely into search engines. I am in a business that requires a lot of talk but when I am alone, I am so emotionally torn and jsut need someon to hug or just touch me. I am a gay older man but dont hang much of my life on that at all. I have two dogs and I have a partner of 34 yrs. He is an alcoholic, he messes in his pants, wheelchair bound,refuses to bathe,doesn't do a thing for himself. has had many surgeries and to make a horrible long story short. He does not love me and we are sewn up financially and I cannot aford to leave my house and I couldnt bear leaving my dogs here. My family in Texas is so very distant and there is minimal connection there. So, I am emotionally alone in my beautiful prison up in the north florida woods. When I try to reach out to anyone I work with, as a friend, I expose too much of me and I think that due to the nature of my business Real Estate, I am basically in a den of snakes to begin with. I am good at what I do, but I remain a recluse do to my fear of showing my extreme lonliness. Also, I have been HIV positive for 23 years, and am healthy. So this even narrows down my lonliness more. There are no support groups near GAinesville, Florida and All I feel like I am doing is just waking up day to day and living with all this every minute, day ,week year after year, with no end in site. I am a fairly nice looking man. I am not looking for a partner, I just need to be with ssomeone who would like an intelligent conversation but share hugs and true feelings without the sex part of things. Man or woman. I just need a warm heart and a good friend. So J,
We both have a lot of parallel emotions. One thing, I guess we can smile or at least know that there is at least one other person on this planet that feels these soul ripping painfull feelings of needing someone to hold.
Very Warmly, :)
John

My dear you will find love! A person as obviously honest , loving and sincere can't miss! My heart. Heart has been broken recently and I find myself sitting alone in a coffee shop googling I am lonely. Your note touched me and made me realize that there are other people out there who crave a hug, I know how that feels. Love the hell out of your little girl and my positive thoughts are with you. Take care.

Dyslexic much?

That was very sweet and took a lot of courage. Thank you.

live your life, like there is no tomorrow...be happy and help needy.

Dear tooproud

In a way I feel your pain... I went back to my hometown this december for the first time in years.... I have never felt so lonley when I came back to my house... I am only 22 but it feels like at this pace i will never meet someone special.... I dont know why I am lonley in the big city but I guess thats what happens when you give it all up thinking you you whats best without thinking of the future..... I dont know if this even makes you feel a bit better but I hope you more people than you think google "I am lonley".... I hope you find someone you can hold

I do hope that you are doing very well now. God bless.
Hugs :)

please message me.. and read my blog

its human to want to be held dearly and adored by someone genuinely... someone to crawl to when the world has beat you up to a point where you cant lift yourself up... I hope that you find that someone and do get better... at 36 I am sure you are still too young to give up on love. Learn from your mistake, wipe your tears and start afresh... YOU ARE STILL CAPABLE OF LOVING AND BEING LOVED! happy 2013

I wished i could help but i live far away in Malaysia.Pray hard with concentration and God will answer your prayers.
Warm Regards

You're not alone in feeling the way you do. I googled the same thing and ended up here, reading your story. I feel the exact same way and it being almost Christmas makes it even worse. Anyways I just wanted you to know you're not the only one. Hope things start looking up for you.

Please hang in there, things will get better, there is hope just look for it and be patient

I too have a six year old daughter and am a single parent. I find myself too busy to have any level of a social life and also google searched, "I am lonely." All of my friends have now eroded away with time and I seldom even talk with my family. *Sigh*

I've been exactly where you are. There is no easy solution. Some of us are swans. We mate for life. Recovery is a lifetime experience. Others start recovering from a breakup before it happens. But memories can be a terrible thing. They hold us back with false hopes for someone who no longer holds any memories of us. Survival is understanding that we must walk away from those memories. Thats not easy, its day to day. With a goal it gets better. And certainly having someone, would make life easier. It might be time for a little self reflection there. You can find someone. EVERYONE CAN, But the question is why haven't you. Thats where I am now. I'm over the tears finially. I'm doing ok now after a few years, tried dating for one year, didn't work out. But the memories no longer hurt and linger so I am free. And attention from friends and petting my dog is comforting. Good luck. I know its painful. Big hugs

I am a young person and I can say that I feelt alot of this too. The lonliness at worst feels like being smothered, it feels like there almost is no escape.

I know...just to have someone there to share the simple things in life means everything. Have things worked out for you? It's been a while since this was posted.

hugs and kisses i feel loney to. there no one here at home that knows how i feel hope thigs get better for you

{{{{{Hugs}}}}}

Hi
I have got the same feeling read my story you will realize and i agree with you if there is no love there is no life....!!!!! myuser name is jigs1811...

Hi J,

I have read your heart felt plea that you wrote. I just want to say that first of all your brave to share that info and secondly you have done the right thing to talk about it and write it down, you may not be aware but you are helping yourself by expressing your feelings by talking about it. You have a beautiful child to love and that probably keeps you going. Have you thought of the possibility of getting involve with some project to help other people, maybe on a weekend, you could take your daughter too, just an idea to maybe make new connections in your life. I know you have regrets in your life, like I do too, but nothing can change the past, but you can change your future. I hope this pain goes for you and you can have peace in your heart once again, I am here for you if you need me. Kind Regards. Y.

Thus us why I dislike people my age. They make dumb decisions and don't think about others and sometimes it bites them in the arse later. I am where you are now but just under half your age so I hope it works the opposite way for me. In regards to your worries, considering you have a kid, I'm assuming you're a successful social human. Just find someone to be with. maybe someone in a similar position to you.

just understand facts of life it is not you alone suffering on this planet there are others with grave situation.please understand your inner feeling live that way for god shake your happiness should not depend on others.

Tooproud....you are brave. I was touched by your story. You are not alone. We are all here for you to talk to if need be! Keep your chin up!

Hey it going to be okay. Yes it horrible being lonely. Just keep you head up. Peace