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Someone Please Read.

I'm not sure why I'm doing this or what I hope to achieve..I found myself typing 'I'm lonely' into Google this evening and am wondering if I've finally lost it.  I'm typing and constantly stopping to wipe tears away..I think I'm crying because I'm sharing this.  I'm 36 and Mum to a lovely 6 year old girl, it's just the two of us..she's fabulous but I'm so lonely.  I crave someone to be with so badly I just don't know if I can take much more of this.

There was someone so dear to me who went from my life quite a few years ago now and I bumped into a mutal friend yesterday, he told me how well he's getting on etc and though I was pleased to hear all is well for him I find today I am inconsolable..I'm lonely every night but tonight just feels too much, this is so hard to share this I always find it hard to ask for help..typing this anonomously is the only way I can..and even now I'm holding back and I don't know WHY..I'm afraid I'm going to be alone forever and just want someone to love and to love me..I had that and I blew it, too young and stupid..Little did I know what I was throwing away...

I can't stop crying now the tears are flowing, I don't suppose this is much of a 'story' is it..ha...I think i just need to feel I'm not alone, I would give anything right now for someone to hold, I feel so unloveable and unwanted, it doesn't feel good.  I had it all, and now I have nothing.  Money means nothing.  A house means nothing.  A good career means nothing!! All these things I have and tehy mean NOTHING if your life has not got love, if you're not connected to another human being..I would give everythng I have right now and I know I would, please believe I'm not jsut saying that, everything my house my money al the stuff that does not matter..for five minutes with him to tell him how sorry I am..and how I regret every day for eleven years now what I did.  I was so messed up. 

I think I'd kill for a hug right now... *half-smile*

Sorry for waffling on,

J

tooproud tooproud 31-35, F 492 Responses Nov 15, 2009

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oh hun its ok... theres some one for all of us... it just seems hard and empty... but its not... your white knight will come even if it take several more year... just stay strong

I understand how you're feeling. I can relate to you so much. The loneliness is swallowing me, eating me alive. When I see others toghether, especially couples, talking, laughing, having a great time, I get so sad. I feel like killing myself, crying, curling up into a corner. You're not alone. I'm always here if you want to talk. I'm only fourteen but maybe I can be of use to you as a friend, for it seems I'm of no use to anyone else. No one will keep me.



I hope this made you feel better. It didn't make me feel better.

tomorrow will be a better day nothing is permanent but only change

I feel like this every day, except, I don't have kids that brighten my day. live for your kids, be happy and make your kids #1 in your life if you find yourself so lonely. yes you matter, yes you should worry about yourself, yes you should make yourself happy. but dont forgot about your kids.

Relax.

Have faith in urself. Everything will be ok. It might be a passing emotion. But, if it persists, share ur thoughts with anyone close, or sometimes with a stranger too. Love ur daughter very much, spend time with her (she should not feel neglected because of ur inner conflict), go to theatres, picnic spots. Write if u r inclined to. Come here. If nothing works, see a clinical psychologist.

But, try to smile and be busy for urself and ur kid. :)

Good luck.

Some people say folks like you and i should learn to be comfortable in our own skin.Thats great and i think i do like myself and maby you do too but i dont think there is a answer to loneliness for iv had theropy and read til i couldnt any more.Im 52 year old male now and i think maby we need to learn how to not be depressed when were lonely.Theropy might put a plastic coating on it at our age however i really believe the probley lies on how we were raised as children.The happiest people to me seem to be those that were raised in a situation where the mother and father had an equal amount of respect for each other wheather they lived toghther or not.The most hurtful thing for parents to do is to stay living together with the kids when all the love and respect is gone.I bottomed out with all the theropy and most theropist when honest will admit there more scred up thay any of us.Iv heard that from some of the most well recoginized theropists in the country.Those of us that are lonely lack social skills and they cannot be fixed or reprogramed by any means.Finding one person to fix lonleness never works and will only bring them down in time.We should do our best to be comfortable with friends and people in our lives and with enough time and practise we might get some better however have you ever met anybody that had there depression fixed from outside help or drugs that lasted.I think your honest answer will be no.Some will be scared of what i feel and wish for me to go away but i believe this is what is happening and if they want to believe its not ill bet they cant show me or you anybody that had these problems resolved.Usually they become so broke from paying theropists they get more depressed so i wouldnt do that.Most theropists can deal with there own shortcommings because they have enoufg money and time to do exciding life things to relieve them from thinking about themselves.

Again, thank you all so much for your comments..seems like there's a lot of lonely people out there..



I hope we can all support one another xx

Type your comment here...

Wait, if someone loved you and you threw him away. Find out if he's remarried. If not, he'll probably take you back. That's how love is. He'd probably forgive you.

I am envious of you. I know exactly what you mean about house, money career being irrelevant without love. But "Love" doesn't need to be a man.



Love is your daughter, your family, your friends. I feel everything you do, except my family's gone----from all sides---through no choice of my own.



BTW, if you're being totally honest (and human) none of us want to hear that an ex who ended badly with us is doing so well with somebody else. Face that reality, and don't be hard on yourself for your feelings.

I am envious of you. I know exactly what you mean about house, money career being irrelevant without love. But "Love" doesn't need to be a man.



Love is your daughter, your family, your friends. I feel everything you do, except my family's gone----from all sides---through no choice of my own.



BTW, if you're being totally honest (and human) none of us want to hear that an ex who ended badly with us is doing so well with somebody else. Face that reality, and don't be hard on yourself for your feelings.

I know how you feel, I've been alone since 89 and it's not funny..! It's hard to find anyone these days that's wants a relationship. Most are bitter from the past and just want to be friends with no strings attached. What is one to do..? Everyone I meet is married or seeing someone...dating sites..? HA, what a big joke that is...hang in there someone will come along and sweep you off your feet and you'll forget all about the past....

Hi there. Nice blog. I found this site the same way you did. Figured that if there are all types of clubs, there had to be one for lonely people.



I hope you find the social interactivity you seek. Take care.

Please do not concentrate on how lonely you feel. Instead take that energy and use it to find great new friends on the web. You do not have to feel sad or lonely. With all there is on the net, it is a breeze to find new best friends. Now, go dry your eyes, don't feel sorry for yourself anymore. You may not realize it but your depression will effect your child in a most negative way. Have some great fun. You are worth it!



Starling Advice

Here's a thought. Paint your finger and toe nails a nice red. Get a bit dressed up, strappy shoes, a skirt that's just above the knees. Go walk for an hour thru the mall or a grocery store and watch the eyes of the men you pass on your journey. It's a hell of an ego boost. Then take some positive steps to find one who thinks your his pearl in the oyster.

I am sooooo right there with you!!! And while I'm sure that you, like me, apprecialte the support and advice of everyone here...none of it helps......please , just know that you are not alone in these feelings. I would say to you.."come , sister...let me hold you...cry in my arms...let the tears fall onto someone who knows their value....and weighty meaning of each fat tear....." I wish you love in the future...day by day..one foot in front of the other...trudging on when there seems no rhyme or reason....in anythihg. We will both be better..although I gather that you, like me, are mourning the loss of your great love.....nothing will bring them back to us, as deperately as we would love it. Let us steel ouselves....and take just one more step...we will overcome this....we must.



((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((tooproud)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))



Penny/sxdup

Before you look for some one to share your life with him study yourself and what did you do in the past to lose your man read write about it and put plan to yourself to avoid what you did in the future .. and get up go live your life have fun and find agood man not some one just want to have you in his bed

God i'm new to this experince project and I cam cause i needed help. There are so many sad and lonely people out there. Maybe there are people very close to you like neighbours or other parents in your childens school who feel the same way. It takes courage to strike up conversatons with but it will get easier with time and then you should be able to develop a network of friends and then love will come into your life again. You've gotta love yourself first. I think thats why we are on here looking for acceptance an dunderstanding so we can love ourselves, become strong and move forward. Your in the right place for now I think. Have courage!

I'm sending ya a big hug xxxxx

I have been believing that there must be someone is waiting for me , and wanting me only, maybe I don't where and who is he at present , but I will meet him at last some day.

I just want to pop in again to say thank you to those who have been so supportive in their comments, it really does help. Also. again, it's still striking to me how many people feel the same..not that I imagined before I was the only person who felt alone! :)..but I suppose you can maybe subconciously think that if that's how it FEELS... (sorry for caps but no italics here..) Last night was very hard being New Years Eve and all... I am really trying though for my daughter, and never let her see me upset or down like this..But when she goes to bed I have my time, and I'm really trying to spend that now reflecting and thinking about what I can change.. I don't want to get to old age, still be lonely, and think '****, why didn't I do more to try?'..

Love to all the lonely people x

i can relate to every word you wrote. i have also typed feelings into my computer desperately looking for something that will help. i am lucky i always do find some comfort that way. thank goodness for the internet also books and journaling have helped me. the holidays were very hard. i am trying to be open to a reason and a purpose for this unending singlehood of mine. when i look back at the relationships i did have i realize i was alone in them in that i did not get back what i was giving. finally i faced facts and ended them. in ending the last one i did have to apologize for my share of what went wrong. he never accepted my apology. that's his issue. even though it hurt owning up to my side of things was a key to letting go. i do not think we are meant to stay in relationships like that only to avoid the pain of being alone. i am developing a stronger relationship with god as i understand god. it has an incredible calming effect on me when i am in that dark lonely place. if a relationship is only ok that is not good enough. almost right is not good enough. at the same time i do have to force myself to socialize. it becomes very difficult to be the perpetual single woman. after a while people don't invite you anywhere unless you are part of a couple. the truth is a romantic relationship may not be the answer yet, until i grow more of a life and interests of my own. all i do now is work then home then work. i am starting to think the answer lies in me and in time if its meant to be the right relationship will come. i do understand the loneliness though, and if you want to talk anytime...also i wish us both a happier new year!

I think we are all alone to some extent. I have a husband who loves me dearly and I love him, but I still feel alone and misunderstood sometimes. Things I said which I didn't mean the way they sounded get taken out of proportion. My husband can't fully understand, no one can. We all want someone to belong to and someone to give us attention every now and again. Hell thats what I want and nobody around (except my husband) appreciates it. My husband says that fact I dont get any attention from my parents or anyone is a good thing, it means I'm the least of their worries. Well yes, I know that, that's the problem. I wish somebody was worried about me abit. Worried enough to ring up and ask how I was or check I was okay. But it works both ways, they aren't worrying about me and I'm not worrying about them either. Its hard to not have anyone to worry about and no one to worry about you.



Just finding one person to worry about and who worries about you makes all the difference.



Coming home yesterday I had a cuddle with my cat. This made me feel less alone. My cat loves me and worries if I'm okay, because without me she doesn't get fed!!!



You will draw people into your life gradually, but best thing is to take it slow and learn to love yourself first.

I understand you. I also have everything a woman could, except love. I feel so unwanted: if I want to give a friend a hug, she suddenly pushes me away like if I had some horrible disease; if I want to hug one of my guy friends, he also starts to run away...

I feel so sorry for you. The only thing I can do for you is send you a virtual hug and say that you have the support of many people in this site! :)

Don't feel unloved, I love you!



Desiré

xoxo

I feel exactly like that tonight. I guess it helps to know there are others out there.

I feel lonely too. And when people say it will get better be happy. how can you? How can you stay positive? its seems so impossible sometimes. Or is it? My relationship went down the drains and I gave myself to a relationship that was taken away so easily. I need to be loved, and wanted. Everyone needs that. Sometimes it might all seem silly to tell people that you are lonely. They tell you you have friends and they are there for you. But what you really ask for is company. I am 16, and can relate.

Hello and good morning too proud. I truly feel your sorrow and I am trying to be as objective without being pulled into somthing so deep as your situation. Somthihg keeps telling me that you may be going about this the wrong way. perhaps you are trying too hard to find some one to be with. the important thing right jow is you and your sanity. My point is that you need to talk to a close friend you trust and confide in. get out and do things with people such as vollunteer perhaps go to a singles meeting. You just might find that you are not alone. People need some one they can talk to or have some one listen to you. Thats half the battle, the other half is keeping yourself on your feet. It has consumed you and thats where it can be quite hard. Each step takes time but it takes one step at a time to get where you weant to be. The thing you need to know is people have this gift of consolling and reaching out to opne another when the need is there. On that note I wish you to add me to your circle perhaps we can start a dialog and start a journey to where you began.



Dale

sometimes i wish i could swap places with someone,even a person like u.you have 1 thing that i most likly will never have and thats a child.On the plus side if u could call it a plus is that u are not alone.64 comments and counting proves that.Me,i have been without a girlfriend for 12+ years and it is hard to go on as you said nothing matters in life without someone to share life with.It was the reason i singed up to the website

I have googled "I am lonely" and "how to be happy" and "I am depressed" so if you are crazy you are at least not alone :). I found a good counselor who doesn't charge much and I've started therapy-again- but this time I think it's helping. If you are reaching out now you are getting better...sometimes our unhappiness helps us to do the drastic kinds of things we need to do to have a better life. I hope you feel better soon, or even now.

I am lonely as well. I can relate for sure. But you are not alone & don'et even realize it. You have a 6yr old. Whenever you feel lonely just look at your child & make the best of it. I would do anything for a hug, kiss or even just to hear my fiance's voice, but I can't. I lost him to cancer on Nov 8th of last year. One day before my birthday. Thing's are really rough for me. Because that's only about 6 week's ago. Some where in the future you might see him or even work thing's out, who know's. I will never get that chance. So just appreciate what you have (your 6yr old) and everything else will fall into place. Just give it some time. If thing's don't ever work out with you & him again, there is alway's someone out ther for all of us. Your only 36 & have your whole life a head of you. Stop crying please, pick yourself up, dust yourself off & make the best out of your life. We can't change the past, but we sure can change the future. Life & experience's are our learning tool's. Good Luck.

Hi Too proud. I am starting to feel lonliness for the first time in 33 years. I felt like you before I met my wife. We had our 30th wedding anniversay last year but she passed away Dec.8th. 2009. I have adult children and they are what I live for right now. But when I'm home alone I would give everything I have to hold her again. We had been fighting and squabbling for 3 weeks before she took her life by taking too many pills. I never even had the chance to say goodbye or"I'm sorry". I'd give ANYTHING to kiss her again. I'm only 55 so I have alot of time before I join her and it looks like a LONG LONLY road ahead. My point is that you shouldn't give up. You WILL meet someone I'm sure. Live for your 6 yr old.