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Someone Please Read.

I'm not sure why I'm doing this or what I hope to achieve..I found myself typing 'I'm lonely' into Google this evening and am wondering if I've finally lost it.  I'm typing and constantly stopping to wipe tears away..I think I'm crying because I'm sharing this.  I'm 36 and Mum to a lovely 6 year old girl, it's just the two of us..she's fabulous but I'm so lonely.  I crave someone to be with so badly I just don't know if I can take much more of this.

There was someone so dear to me who went from my life quite a few years ago now and I bumped into a mutal friend yesterday, he told me how well he's getting on etc and though I was pleased to hear all is well for him I find today I am inconsolable..I'm lonely every night but tonight just feels too much, this is so hard to share this I always find it hard to ask for help..typing this anonomously is the only way I can..and even now I'm holding back and I don't know WHY..I'm afraid I'm going to be alone forever and just want someone to love and to love me..I had that and I blew it, too young and stupid..Little did I know what I was throwing away...

I can't stop crying now the tears are flowing, I don't suppose this is much of a 'story' is it..ha...I think i just need to feel I'm not alone, I would give anything right now for someone to hold, I feel so unloveable and unwanted, it doesn't feel good.  I had it all, and now I have nothing.  Money means nothing.  A house means nothing.  A good career means nothing!! All these things I have and tehy mean NOTHING if your life has not got love, if you're not connected to another human being..I would give everythng I have right now and I know I would, please believe I'm not jsut saying that, everything my house my money al the stuff that does not matter..for five minutes with him to tell him how sorry I am..and how I regret every day for eleven years now what I did.  I was so messed up. 

I think I'd kill for a hug right now... *half-smile*

Sorry for waffling on,

J

tooproud tooproud 31-35, F 491 Responses Nov 15, 2009

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oh hun its ok... theres some one for all of us... it just seems hard and empty... but its not... your white knight will come even if it take several more year... just stay strong

I understand how you're feeling. I can relate to you so much. The loneliness is swallowing me, eating me alive. When I see others toghether, especially couples, talking, laughing, having a great time, I get so sad. I feel like killing myself, crying, curling up into a corner. You're not alone. I'm always here if you want to talk. I'm only fourteen but maybe I can be of use to you as a friend, for it seems I'm of no use to anyone else. No one will keep me. <br />
<br />
I hope this made you feel better. It didn't make me feel better.

tomorrow will be a better day nothing is permanent but only change

I feel like this every day, except, I don't have kids that brighten my day. live for your kids, be happy and make your kids #1 in your life if you find yourself so lonely. yes you matter, yes you should worry about yourself, yes you should make yourself happy. but dont forgot about your kids.

Relax.<br />
Have faith in urself. Everything will be ok. It might be a passing emotion. But, if it persists, share ur thoughts with anyone close, or sometimes with a stranger too. Love ur daughter very much, spend time with her (she should not feel neglected because of ur inner conflict), go to theatres, picnic spots. Write if u r inclined to. Come here. If nothing works, see a clinical psychologist.<br />
But, try to smile and be busy for urself and ur kid. :)<br />
Good luck.

Some people say folks like you and i should learn to be comfortable in our own skin.Thats great and i think i do like myself and maby you do too but i dont think there is a answer to loneliness for iv had theropy and read til i couldnt any more.Im 52 year old male now and i think maby we need to learn how to not be depressed when were lonely.Theropy might put a plastic coating on it at our age however i really believe the probley lies on how we were raised as children.The happiest people to me seem to be those that were raised in a situation where the mother and father had an equal amount of respect for each other wheather they lived toghther or not.The most hurtful thing for parents to do is to stay living together with the kids when all the love and respect is gone.I bottomed out with all the theropy and most theropist when honest will admit there more scred up thay any of us.Iv heard that from some of the most well recoginized theropists in the country.Those of us that are lonely lack social skills and they cannot be fixed or reprogramed by any means.Finding one person to fix lonleness never works and will only bring them down in time.We should do our best to be comfortable with friends and people in our lives and with enough time and practise we might get some better however have you ever met anybody that had there depression fixed from outside help or drugs that lasted.I think your honest answer will be no.Some will be scared of what i feel and wish for me to go away but i believe this is what is happening and if they want to believe its not ill bet they cant show me or you anybody that had these problems resolved.Usually they become so broke from paying theropists they get more depressed so i wouldnt do that.Most theropists can deal with there own shortcommings because they have enoufg money and time to do exciding life things to relieve them from thinking about themselves.

Again, thank you all so much for your comments..seems like there's a lot of lonely people out there..<br />
<br />
I hope we can all support one another xx

Type your comment here...

Wait, if someone loved you and you threw him away. Find out if he's remarried. If not, he'll probably take you back. That's how love is. He'd probably forgive you.

I am envious of you. I know exactly what you mean about house, money career being irrelevant without love. But "Love" doesn't need to be a man.<br />
<br />
Love is your daughter, your family, your friends. I feel everything you do, except my family's gone----from all sides---through no choice of my own.<br />
<br />
BTW, if you're being totally honest (and human) none of us want to hear that an ex who ended badly with us is doing so well with somebody else. Face that reality, and don't be hard on yourself for your feelings.

I am envious of you. I know exactly what you mean about house, money career being irrelevant without love. But "Love" doesn't need to be a man.<br />
<br />
Love is your daughter, your family, your friends. I feel everything you do, except my family's gone----from all sides---through no choice of my own.<br />
<br />
BTW, if you're being totally honest (and human) none of us want to hear that an ex who ended badly with us is doing so well with somebody else. Face that reality, and don't be hard on yourself for your feelings.

I know how you feel, I've been alone since 89 and it's not funny..! It's hard to find anyone these days that's wants a relationship. Most are bitter from the past and just want to be friends with no strings attached. What is one to do..? Everyone I meet is married or seeing someone...dating sites..? HA, what a big joke that is...hang in there someone will come along and sweep you off your feet and you'll forget all about the past....

Hi there. Nice blog. I found this site the same way you did. Figured that if there are all types of clubs, there had to be one for lonely people.<br />
<br />
I hope you find the social interactivity you seek. Take care.

Please do not concentrate on how lonely you feel. Instead take that energy and use it to find great new friends on the web. You do not have to feel sad or lonely. With all there is on the net, it is a breeze to find new best friends. Now, go dry your eyes, don't feel sorry for yourself anymore. You may not realize it but your depression will effect your child in a most negative way. Have some great fun. You are worth it!<br />
<br />
Starling Advice

Here's a thought. Paint your finger and toe nails a nice red. Get a bit dressed up, strappy shoes, a skirt that's just above the knees. Go walk for an hour thru the mall or a grocery store and watch the eyes of the men you pass on your journey. It's a hell of an ego boost. Then take some positive steps to find one who thinks your his pearl in the oyster.

I am sooooo right there with you!!! And while I'm sure that you, like me, apprecialte the support and advice of everyone here...none of it helps......please , just know that you are not alone in these feelings. I would say to you.."come , sister...let me hold you...cry in my arms...let the tears fall onto someone who knows their value....and weighty meaning of each fat tear....." I wish you love in the future...day by day..one foot in front of the other...trudging on when there seems no rhyme or reason....in anythihg. We will both be better..although I gather that you, like me, are mourning the loss of your great love.....nothing will bring them back to us, as deperately as we would love it. Let us steel ouselves....and take just one more step...we will overcome this....we must.<br />
<br />
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((tooproud)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))<br />
<br />
Penny/sxdup

Before you look for some one to share your life with him study yourself and what did you do in the past to lose your man read write about it and put plan to yourself to avoid what you did in the future .. and get up go live your life have fun and find agood man not some one just want to have you in his bed

God i'm new to this experince project and I cam cause i needed help. There are so many sad and lonely people out there. Maybe there are people very close to you like neighbours or other parents in your childens school who feel the same way. It takes courage to strike up conversatons with but it will get easier with time and then you should be able to develop a network of friends and then love will come into your life again. You've gotta love yourself first. I think thats why we are on here looking for acceptance an dunderstanding so we can love ourselves, become strong and move forward. Your in the right place for now I think. Have courage!<br />
I'm sending ya a big hug xxxxx

I have been believing that there must be someone is waiting for me , and wanting me only, maybe I don't where and who is he at present , but I will meet him at last some day.

I just want to pop in again to say thank you to those who have been so supportive in their comments, it really does help. Also. again, it's still striking to me how many people feel the same..not that I imagined before I was the only person who felt alone! :)..but I suppose you can maybe subconciously think that if that's how it FEELS... (sorry for caps but no italics here..) Last night was very hard being New Years Eve and all... I am really trying though for my daughter, and never let her see me upset or down like this..But when she goes to bed I have my time, and I'm really trying to spend that now reflecting and thinking about what I can change.. I don't want to get to old age, still be lonely, and think '****, why didn't I do more to try?'..<br />
Love to all the lonely people x

i can relate to every word you wrote. i have also typed feelings into my computer desperately looking for something that will help. i am lucky i always do find some comfort that way. thank goodness for the internet also books and journaling have helped me. the holidays were very hard. i am trying to be open to a reason and a purpose for this unending singlehood of mine. when i look back at the relationships i did have i realize i was alone in them in that i did not get back what i was giving. finally i faced facts and ended them. in ending the last one i did have to apologize for my share of what went wrong. he never accepted my apology. that's his issue. even though it hurt owning up to my side of things was a key to letting go. i do not think we are meant to stay in relationships like that only to avoid the pain of being alone. i am developing a stronger relationship with god as i understand god. it has an incredible calming effect on me when i am in that dark lonely place. if a relationship is only ok that is not good enough. almost right is not good enough. at the same time i do have to force myself to socialize. it becomes very difficult to be the perpetual single woman. after a while people don't invite you anywhere unless you are part of a couple. the truth is a romantic relationship may not be the answer yet, until i grow more of a life and interests of my own. all i do now is work then home then work. i am starting to think the answer lies in me and in time if its meant to be the right relationship will come. i do understand the loneliness though, and if you want to talk anytime...also i wish us both a happier new year!

I think we are all alone to some extent. I have a husband who loves me dearly and I love him, but I still feel alone and misunderstood sometimes. Things I said which I didn't mean the way they sounded get taken out of proportion. My husband can't fully understand, no one can. We all want someone to belong to and someone to give us attention every now and again. Hell thats what I want and nobody around (except my husband) appreciates it. My husband says that fact I dont get any attention from my parents or anyone is a good thing, it means I'm the least of their worries. Well yes, I know that, that's the problem. I wish somebody was worried about me abit. Worried enough to ring up and ask how I was or check I was okay. But it works both ways, they aren't worrying about me and I'm not worrying about them either. Its hard to not have anyone to worry about and no one to worry about you. <br />
<br />
Just finding one person to worry about and who worries about you makes all the difference. <br />
<br />
Coming home yesterday I had a cuddle with my cat. This made me feel less alone. My cat loves me and worries if I'm okay, because without me she doesn't get fed!!! <br />
<br />
You will draw people into your life gradually, but best thing is to take it slow and learn to love yourself first.

I understand you. I also have everything a woman could, except love. I feel so unwanted: if I want to give a friend a hug, she suddenly pushes me away like if I had some horrible disease; if I want to hug one of my guy friends, he also starts to run away...<br />
I feel so sorry for you. The only thing I can do for you is send you a virtual hug and say that you have the support of many people in this site! :)<br />
Don't feel unloved, I love you!<br />
<br />
Desiré<br />
xoxo

I feel exactly like that tonight. I guess it helps to know there are others out there.

I feel lonely too. And when people say it will get better be happy. how can you? How can you stay positive? its seems so impossible sometimes. Or is it? My relationship went down the drains and I gave myself to a relationship that was taken away so easily. I need to be loved, and wanted. Everyone needs that. Sometimes it might all seem silly to tell people that you are lonely. They tell you you have friends and they are there for you. But what you really ask for is company. I am 16, and can relate.

Hello and good morning too proud. I truly feel your sorrow and I am trying to be as ob<x>jective without being pulled into somthing so deep as your situation. Somthihg keeps telling me that you may be going about this the wrong way. perhaps you are trying too hard to find some one to be with. the important thing right jow is you and your sanity. My point is that you need to talk to a close friend you trust and confide in. get out and do things with people such as vollunteer perhaps go to a singles meeting. You just might find that you are not alone. People need some one they can talk to or have some one listen to you. Thats half the battle, the other half is keeping yourself on your feet. It has consumed you and thats where it can be quite hard. Each step takes time but it takes one step at a time to get where you weant to be. The thing you need to know is people have this gift of consolling and reaching out to opne another when the need is there. On that note I wish you to add me to your circle perhaps we can start a dialog and start a journey to where you began.<br />
<br />
Dale

sometimes i wish i could swap places with someone,even a person like u.you have 1 thing that i most likly will never have and thats a child.On the plus side if u could call it a plus is that u are not alone.64 comments and counting proves that.Me,i have been without a girlfriend for 12+ years and it is hard to go on as you said nothing matters in life without someone to share life with.It was the reason i singed up to the website

I have googled "I am lonely" and "how to be happy" and "I am depressed" so if you are crazy you are at least not alone :). I found a good counselor who doesn't charge much and I've started therapy-again- but this time I think it's helping. If you are reaching out now you are getting better...sometimes our unhappiness helps us to do the drastic kinds of things we need to do to have a better life. I hope you feel better soon, or even now.

I am lonely as well. I can relate for sure. But you are not alone & don'et even realize it. You have a 6yr old. Whenever you feel lonely just look at your child & make the best of it. I would do anything for a hug, kiss or even just to hear my fiance's voice, but I can't. I lost him to cancer on Nov 8th of last year. One day before my birthday. Thing's are really rough for me. Because that's only about 6 week's ago. Some where in the future you might see him or even work thing's out, who know's. I will never get that chance. So just appreciate what you have (your 6yr old) and everything else will fall into place. Just give it some time. If thing's don't ever work out with you & him again, there is alway's someone out ther for all of us. Your only 36 & have your whole life a head of you. Stop crying please, pick yourself up, dust yourself off & make the best out of your life. We can't change the past, but we sure can change the future. Life & experience's are our learning tool's. Good Luck.

Hi Too proud. I am starting to feel lonliness for the first time in 33 years. I felt like you before I met my wife. We had our 30th wedding anniversay last year but she passed away Dec.8th. 2009. I have adult children and they are what I live for right now. But when I'm home alone I would give everything I have to hold her again. We had been fighting and squabbling for 3 weeks before she took her life by taking too many pills. I never even had the chance to say goodbye or"I'm sorry". I'd give ANYTHING to kiss her again. I'm only 55 so I have alot of time before I join her and it looks like a LONG LONLY road ahead. My point is that you shouldn't give up. You WILL meet someone I'm sure. Live for your 6 yr old.

This is a good place to be with people with huge hearts, we all at some time in our lives have felt this way and wonder if there was some one else out there that was looking for me. The secret is, don't try so hard, it will come to you I'm sure. You listen to alot of music even today the lyrics are based on losing some one or a break up. As friends we need to stick together and stand tall. perhaps we need to name this one the lonley hearts club. I really like what you wrote Sommie, you heart is really deep.<br />
Remember the heart has no doors, its open, walk in softley. You are always welcome here.

u not alone God nose what is doing for u, at the moment is hard for u to see it bat with time u will gat over of it.

I have a husband and still feel completely alone. My last friend dumped me because I put my children above her daughter. Her daughter is my daughter's best friend. My son and husband both have asperger's syndrome and I never had a clue as to what that was until my son was diagnosed. Now I have no hope for my husband ever being much more than babysitter for our kids and the financial support for the family. We live in different worlds. I love my kids with all my heart but they are not supposed to be the only human contact I have. My daughter is my sunshine and my reason for being here when I'd rather die. My son needs me to teach him about the world-the social world, that is. I'm a great role model since I have no social life. Seriously, death would be better than this some days. I had a connection with my daughter's friend's mom, I thought. She didn't understand my situation. She and I were either spending time together or talking on the phone weekly. She understood the husband thing. She sort of understood the stuff I deal with with my son. She just didn't quite get that I can't handle all of this stuff all the time. So, no friends. I'm afraid to reach out since my son's issues tend to screw up my plans. I try to remember that this will all pass. Some day the kids will grow up and I can divorce my husband and have a life. Some day...if I can survive this part...

That sounds terribly lonely Tracey, particularly as you have people around you (your husband and your son) who cannot be 'social' with you in the way that would be 'usual' for you, and for most of us. I have worked with people with Aspergers, and know 2 people personally who have it so I know it is HARD work. Have you tried getting in touch with whatever Aspergers Association is in operation in whatever country you are in? I know families with children with AS and they have gotten GREAT benefit from talking to other parents in the same situation..after all who would know better what you are going through?<br />
Hope you can get through this time and try and look for supports.<br />
x

Having read the rest of the comments I honestly feel close to tears.. I am having a bit of a rough time at the moment in that I'm really trying to get myself out there again but am just having trouble picking myself up if you know what I mean..I know i WILL though soon, I'm trying to put it to one side and concentrate on my little beauty of a girl! :) Trying very hard lately not to let the lonliness and longing for someone overwhelm me.<br />
<br />
I feel teary for two reasons, one it's poignant to read these stories and think about how many lonely people there are, and two becuase it's also very humbling. To lose your loved one to cancer or suicide is beyond comprehension and puts in perspective our own suffering..I can't imagine how one deals with life and everythng that goes with it after something like that. <br />
<br />
However, we're all here for one reason or another, and to each of us our own feelings of sadness or anxiety or both re being lonely are very powerful for us..but again I'm just so struck that despite this the display here of love people have for each other. And that's not being flippant or naff, love is what it is when people take the time and the trouble I think to stop here after reading and post a message of hope and encouragement. Really, I think it's so heartening..I always believed that 'man is basically good', and this experience confirms that for me.<br />
Bless you all,<br />
Love<br />
J

i truly understand your pain,been through difficult times myself.i pray to god that you get someone close to your heart pretty soon.

everybody just needs to 'be'. A human 'be'ing needs to 'be'. So do you tooproud. Nothing worng with a hug....but a hug that has no expectations attached to it, no rules, no expectation of return..that is the hug you need...i think im too far away for that geographically..but in my heart the hug is given freely.<br />
Rich

i feel for you.life is ****.we all make mistakes.im a loner.trust me u have or had more than ive ever had in my life .and im older than you.im on anti depressants everything..i really hope life turns around for you

this is sad...

God has called us to relational love with each other... to give what we need to gain most.<br />
<br />
can i suggest that we all look to find the broken, the fatherless and the widow. not to proclaim religion to them with our mouths but to show love with actions. to simply love.<br />
<br />
it is only here that we will find that the word is always true, prayer always works, God is always there.<br />
They say people need love... NO, people need to Give love. God is that of love not because he gets love but because he gives love. His evidence that he is truly alive is that the sun comes up for both the sinner and the saint. that the son of man died for the sinner and the non-believer.<br />
<br />
our witness/testimony that God lives is not in what we say - other "Gods" also had plenty of people who said a lot about them. to many.. our role is to love as he loves, to care as he cares. <br />
<br />
i am so sorry that you are lonely. but can i ask you to give to others what you lack most... this is libarating and makes fun out of the spirits that try to put you down. people who know loneliness are perfect/ the best to give to the lonely...

I was in a relationship for 7 yrs and it took about 11 yrs to get over it.I would grieve and carry on for ever. But you know what we all mess up in our relationships. If you did something unforgiveable then you were probably lacking something from him in your relationship.Were all looking for something in life and not one person can have all that your searching for.Sometimes you just need to forgive yourself and try to love yourself again. Learn from what you did wrong and don't do it again if it hurts you and others.Haveing one person there to hug or love isn't a cure all. People tend to mix their emotions with sex and feel it is love.You can't mix and confuse the two together.<br />
I wish you contentment in your life. Forgive,forget,and move on before your old and wrikled.<br />
Haunted5

i feel something similar to the same.....<br />
<br />
i feel always i am alone.... families back in india, we know they r there but when personaly i feel i am alone always....<br />
<br />
i always look someone to chat and talk even to have a coffee and to have some jokes and humors until the sleep, in bed if i am alone i dont feel, but when sits alone in contious.... it is really feeling lonly... vareseth@gmail.com<br />
<br />
regards,<br />
<br />
varese - dubai

We all can relate.Believe your worth to yourself and your to your friends. you will be hearing from me.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Haunted5

I'm taken by your honesty and the open heart you show in public. I think that you are amazing in the sense that you can do this. How can someone so brave be alone in this life. If you can share this with strangers per say, you must have a lot to give in a relationship for the right person. I wish you all the very best and happy evenings in someones arms and someones company. Good luck and persevere. It will happen I'm sure. We are all alone at the end of the day and its a matter of how long for. Don't despare , never give in. I've been alone for 2 years now. I'm not losing hope but I'm starting to get use to it lol. I'm slowly becoming a hermit and I've never been alone before that. 48 years of company turned me into a hermit, well well!! Lets be friends. Lets all be friends. I still have room. Do you?

Wow! Very powerful and I absoultely empathize. My heart goes out to you. I would definately hug you and console you as friends do but alas I imagine a hug from a romantic love would be better. I can only hope for some peace for you and that with the passage of time you will find someone to fill the void and to give you love. I really really really hope you will keep writing here. You may be alone where you are but I'll always write to you here so you have somewhere to come for an ear.

Don't be sad, maybe you need some spiritual guidance, may I suggest you buy a book called My Baba and I by Mr Hislop, he is a living Guru in India and when I went to see him as a westerner, the feeling that I experienced was so inspiring that I just want to serve people and meet people to look for ideas and implement them, so please stay strong and if you want to share my experience then visit my group that I only started yesterday and I hope it will inspire you. Go to India and see for yourself it will clense and guide through life.<br />
<br />
Lots of Love from Sadhana2

I want to believe that today you feel lots better than when you wrote this.<br />
I don't know you, but for this moment, all these people's thoughts and mine are focused on you, wishing you well, wishing you warmth and happiness. You are not alone in your feelings, many of us are experiencing similar feelings. I'll pray for you. Love you!

bummer

I can relate to what you're feeling. My relationship of 4 years just ended and I've been trying to figure out what to do with myself. How do you go back to a life alone after spending almost every waking moment with someone? I was married for almost 23 years when I got divorced, then met this man and spent 4 years with him. It was not easy and finally we ended it but how do you stop loving someone just because you arent together any longer? It's hard to find friends to do things with or things to do period so I find myself sitting in the house watching tv, or just going through the motions of daily living. I sit and cry for what could have been and dont want to go to the restaurants i love because I'm scared I will see him there with someone else. I feel so alone and devastated! All I can say is we are not the only ones to feel this way but not sure what to do about it

LOVE can really be restored when you concentrate on enriching and enhancing what you do have instead of what you lost or dont have. because love takes time and as you do for your daughter or son you will meet someone in the process. there are so many things you can do to enrich and enhance just start anywhere the key is too start. ask me i can help . i successfully fullfilled the lifes of 5 girls that my wife had from a previous marriage and i dont love her but love them and raised them

Thank you all for your wonderful comments :) I'm crying here, but not because I'm terribly terribly sad, but I'm crying with a sort of mixture of relief/happiness/warmth at how people can be so supportive of one another..all that mixed in together!-kind of hard to explain :) <br />
<br />
Have been doing a lot of 'work' recently in moving on from being haunted by past memories and regrets..I'll never NOT hold that candle but I think that maybe we all have one person like that in our lives at some point..the one you'll never forget etc.. <br />
<br />
I came on here tonight having not been here in a while and having a particularly low night, just another night at home alone-they're getting hard to take now..but I'm actively working on trying to move to a different area so I can be nearer family and dare I say, civilisation!.. (better not mention where I'm at exactly then! ;) ) But anyway, am going away from here tonight heartened by all of your lovely comments, and the trouble you took to post them. I hope you all stick around, and that we all keep 'talking' :) Lots of love, J x

here have one of my hugs

You are definitely not alone. I am finding that there are so many people out there that<br />
(1) messed up a good thing and regret it, and (2) just wish they had some companionship.<br />
I have had several of those crying moments also. Some days are good and some aren't. I am glad I found EP and this group. Talking (or typing) seems to help.

You are definitely not alone. I am finding that there are so many people out there that<br />
(1) messed up a good thing and regret it, and (2) just wish they had some companionship.<br />
I have had several of those crying moments also. Some days are good and some aren't. I am glad I found EP and this group. Talking (or typing) seems to help.

I just joined and wrote my story, thinking I was the only one, feeling embarrast but for some reason I put my photo up, guess Im not that bothered what people think of me and my loneliness any more its real its happening and I hate it. For me just a friend would be good. I understand how you feel, not to just do the simple things with someone. Online is good but its not sharing the interaction of a real live person in the same room as you communicating with you. Things change from good to bad but they do change back hun. I wish you well Bella

As someone here said, it looks like you messed up a good thing and now regret it. I have witnessed this scenario just so many times and it results in so many broken lives and lonely people. I feel compelled to write to you on this subject and sincerely hope that this does not sound too severe. It is just my humble opinion.<br />
I have a theory that we are all heavily conditioned by consumer society as young adults. Both young men and women just get busy consuming eachother based upon physical desire. As we do this we forget what the real values of human relationships are. Trust and committment are not fashionable any more. So we just go ahead and indulge ourselves believing in only "me, me, me" in some futile quest for happiness based upon the first high of when you meet someone and engage in some kind of physical connection. And mistaking this for love, we expect the feeling to last. It never does. It's a cheap high and it never lasts. The ******* are empty. Love is somewhere else.<br />
When by some miracle we remain in a long-term relationship all your friends start talking about who is sleeping with who and how women should expect their man to be making them happy, how men should be getting more action and so on. If hubby is not making you 'happy' then you go and get 'happiness' elsewhere. Problem is going off and having an affair gives you a feeling that you have once again found love, but it's just a feeling, a chemical reaction based upon the high you get from having an illicit relationship. It's not love and it doesn't last. Many try to make it last and some actually leave their long-term partner for the new one only to find 6 months later they are back at square one... the new person doesn't make you happy either. In fact it's just the same, if not worse than the previous person you fell in love with. Or your long-term partner just moves on and leaves you. And children get made amongst all this chaos. What a complete mess. <br />
All this to suggest that the reason that there are so many lonely people around is actually that we have all lost sight of one very important thing - making the conscious decision to be committed to your partner and standing by that committment through thick and thin. Getting sex from anyone has simply become far too easy. You can be attracted to a vast number of potential partners. So what! Why does that mean that you have to sleep with all of them? What is more important is that once you recognise that you are a sexual being with desire and the potential to have pleasure, the actual trick is to make the concious decision to remain faithful to the person you truly love, to know your own power and transcend it rather than abuse it.<br />
So before you go and cheat on that long-term partner, think again... you may just be signing the contract for your abject loneliness later in life. And before you leave that long-term relationship behind in some quest for 'happiness', look again just to be sure that you have not completely overlooked who you are and who your partner is, and if you really are giving your partner what he / she needs -> unconditional love, committment and the key to your soul.<br />
Having said all this I feel for your loneliness and I hope and pray that one day you will once again share intimacy and joy with a significant other. Through pain you have come to know yourself better. Look inside yourself and conjure up your own happiness from deep within your soul. Love yourself and then love will find you.

I hope this comment finds you feeling much better than the evening in which you wrote it. I too am lonely. I have 3 grown kids whom 2 that live close by in my state are always in trouble. I don't see them much. I have bipolar disorder and anxiety disorder. Gee, who would want to be MY friend? exactly none, which is how many I have. I am blessed with a wonderful husband though. Some may find this hard to understand, but we have a loving domestic discipline relationship. He is now helping me overcome my anxiety of leaving the house by requiring me to buy a small list of items from the store 3 days a week. More if I choose. It's working. But he works long hours. I'm alone alot. He's trying to get me more comfortable leang the house. The eventual goal is to do volunteer work. Idea for you? Meet new people and do good in the world at the same time! Good luck hon.

I too am a single parent. Our lives get so consumed with our children until they hit the hay and we are left wondering why we are alone. I struggle within thinking maybe I will be alone and maybe that will be ok but it doesn't mean that it is desired. The funny thing is people who are in relationships don't understand. They have to consult eachother ten times a day on child rearing, dinner, sex, tv, work, the boss was pissed today, ect. For us it is so lonely. I hope you find someone. Until then you can come here and chat with us.

I know what you mean. I also just sat there and typed how I felt into google. I thought I'd gone crazy, but it seems other people do that too.<br />
Loneliness is a real monster, I wish they would find a cure for it. I am married, I am a mom and I am also very very very lonely. <br />
I hope it'll get better for you and me.

Loneliness is the silent killer of dreams. Fear drives the emotion, and opportunities wane with every tear.<br />
I, too, have lost hope of ever finding the one person on the planet that understands me. Too much heartbreak, and too much agony and frustration, have turned me into a sobbing shut-in. Good Lord, which way can I turn?

sevenarrow, Forgive me but I have mentioned this before and it may not be relevant to your case. I feel compelled to mention it again. It is probably likely that there are a large number of potential partners out there, all of whom are suitable for you. So there is probably not just one person on the planet. I may be a mistake to focus so intensely upon this.<br />
<br />
I would guess that at some point in your life you thought you had found that special person but then later decided you had made a mistake. Well, perhaps you did, (I of course do not know about your life), but perhaps this intense focus of searching for someone else to make you happy is an illusion. Why not try making yourself happy first? Look inside and find where your happiness lies. Then bring this happiness forth into the world and present it as a gift to a potential partner. Idealistic on my part perhaps, but you may just attract the right kind of people like this.

The school teacher is right, live for your daughter, you are lucky to have her. But she may not fill the void in your heart. You know something, dating doesn't make you feel less lonely only truly connecting with another human being will help you fill that void. I wish there was away I could reach out to you than just an anonymous post. But this is the gist of it... I got swindled by a man who claimed to love me. I have lost all my life savings and taken a loan to help him. And now I am too embarrassed and degraded to face my friends. And I am broke.... I would not wish my experience on anyone and it is too painful to talk about. <br />
And take this from me, money is a security,... having money and a home means a lot to most people. I have lost my money but I still have a home, something which I very much appreciate.<br />
The brokenness I feel , I pray that God will put the pieces of my life and myself back again.<br />
Just don't go searching for healing and a cure for loneliness in the wrong places or you'll get hurt even more. (((((HUGS!))))<br />
<br />
I think I may be alone for awhile yet. But still there is a part of me that hopes and longs for love. For friendship and a true connection. Preferably with a man who will love me all the days of his life..... I am hopeful God will fulfil that dream for me yet. I love you with the compassion I feel for you.

*hugs* I understand quite intimately how you feel.

i'm just like you,and right now i need someone to tell me dat he will always be there for me dat im pretty dat im ok im good with wat im doing i need someone to be there for me.

You can be married and lonely too. Its been a long time with the same woman 36 years to be exact. Married in my teens had two kids who are now grown and I live with a stranger. How can that be you ask? Well we fell out of love I guess we sleep in different rooms she with the dogs and me alone. Sometimes I ache so badly for a woman to hold someone to touch me, to hold me and talk softly about our love together. I began looking for someone.<br />
<br />
I found a woman on line who lives across the country in NY to be exact. we've talked and been together at least through email and the phone for three years now , I'm deeply in love with her and I have never even met her in the flesh. <br />
<br />
I am a coward I suppose, she wanted me to come to her but i couldn't leave this stranger I live with. Couldn't leave her alone to fend for herself. Now my love has found a man through her church that can be with her, and she had to leave me, I don't blame her the coward that I am. <br />
<br />
I am a paycheck and a handyman to this stranger of 36years and will be for the rest of my life I can't take the hurt anymore. G-d I love my New York girl I hurt so bad, I know loneliness TooProud it's a cruel beast that claws at your insides, nothing kills the pain no alcohol, no pain meds I've tried them all. Your still young someone is out there for you for me it's to late.... Mark

I also just sat typing random searches into google...and ended up with "I am lonely"....I am also a single mom of the same age, though I have two children 15 & 11. I have had heart break. One still lingers.<br />
<br />
My case is a bit different...I really am starting to realize that my last "love" did not return my feelings. I have found my solice in books. "live vicariously through others"...and I give my life to my children.<br />
<br />
but......When the end of the day comes around....I am lonely. The kids are in the bed. I am watching Ugly Betty, The dog whines...and I am the only one here. No one to lean on or snuggle too. I have resorted to PILLOWS..granted it is no substitue and my family wonders why I have sooooo many pillows....I know I have not given my heartbreak, but I will give you this. Find solace in your self! <br />
Now for the heart break...simple by some and not comparable in the least to most!....sort of boring...I was married for 10 years to the father of my children...long story short.....he wanted to introduce me to the "sharing" side of life....I couldn't do it...hence the divorce.....then I met Scott...he is the one I have and always will hold a flame for....I pushed him away because I had too much baggage. He was 25 never been married....<br />
I had one other relationship after Scott...I decided that I would be better to be "JUST ME". <br />
<br />
I am probably going to end up being the old maid in the family....but I am cool with that!!

i feel bad for you. i really do. and this comment probably doesnt help a bit, but know, you are not the only one who feels like that. i did and still do, even if i do have freinds. gl, and its always good to let someone know, trust me, i would know.

Have a free hug!

How are you doing now tooproud I find myself in as well so lonely at times I do not know what to do.I just came to this forum with my own troubles. All I can say is keep your chin up, and take care of your beautiful daughter.

Wow, what is it with single woman with children typing "im lonely" in google??? I am one as well, single with a 14 year old, I have more friends and family then most, but I am still so lonely, I hope you do realize that ur not alone! We all have had heart breaks, regrets, but know that it seems when we want it the most it doesnt happen but when we are not looking for it, that is when it does. you have to forgive yourself, we were all young and dumb once. Smile

I know the feeling well......talk, write, *****, complain, cry, scream and whine it's all ok......many of us have experienced the exact same thing, we will help you.

I would give you a really big hug :) I know how you feel...

BIG ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) <br />
U DESERVE LOVE ... <br />
BUT LIFE SUCKS .. YOU SHOULD WAIT FOR WHAT U REALLY WANT OR NEED ,, <br />
THATS LIFE ..

Sweetie, I know it has been months since your post, and I hope that you are doing better, but I want you to know that things will get better. You just have to give it time. I know what it's like to be lonely, hell, I know what it's like to be lonely while you're married, but regardless of that I have come out looking good and so will you (TRUST me! If I can, you DEFINITELY can!). All too often we define ourselves and our self-worth by our relationships; specifically, our intimate relationships and whether we're involved in one or not. DON'T DO THAT! You are a worthwhile person no matter what. You're raising a child on your own and making things work, and that's what you need to do. Relationships often come and go, but you are the person that you will be today, tomorrow, and the day after and I have a lot of respect for you. I respect you, not who you are in your relationships, just you, and I'm sure everyone else does too.<br />
<br />
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." <br />
Winston Churchill

that's a very good quote. i like that. im gunna go post that of facebook...

just kno that tomorrow will be a better day...i have had someone very dear to me leave my life nd although it was hard for me to move on, i knew i had to some day. I kno u will find that person who fills in that emptiness u have inside nd im pretty sure whomever it is that has left you will want you to move on nd be a happier nd better person. Although i dont know u. i must say that i will keep u n my prayers nd i wish the best for you....

Your story resonates with how i've felt. My life is full i work seven days a week. I still feel lonely. I provide for myself everything, even nurturing. I decided to let go of my barriers and still i opened up to things that would make me more lonely e.g. friends with benefits. Sometimes i think what would i want when my life is too full and those are things i decide to follow.

I so undestand how ou feel. I am still with my childrens' father yet still feel alone. sometimes even when you are not alone you are! I hurt for you, I can feel your pain. I too, feel like you do. I am sure you will not be alone forever, it takes time,. Me I guess i will wait 14 yrs when my youngest is oldest enough to understand. hang in there, We all deserve someone and will get him someday!!!!!

wow to think that there are more people out there who feel the way that I do I totally understand what ur saying and how you feel how do we get from this feeling I to never thought I would be googling lonely on a friday evening how do we get depression this feeling of being lonely

i think you need to forgive yourself for the past,no one alive ahasnt made some mistakes they wish did not happen,even apologise if that helps you,it can,i have done that a couple of times to people i felt i had hurt,it was not easy but it felt right. Also i may be good to join a group,maybe yoga,something where you can be with nice people and make friennds,i just think people worrying too much about romance can come across as scary and to needy and probably wont attact a good relationship,do some things boost you confidence,let the 'trying to find a person to make you happy" take a backseat for a while,like take the pressure off yourself,you sound nice,but i feel that you are thinking yourself into unhappiness,so please try not to x

BIG HUGS TO YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Never give up!!!!!!!

it will get worse, believe me. u gotta go out more...someone special is waitin for u.

You need Jesus, ma'am.

Wow. Thank you all so much for your comments..it gives me such hope, it really does.. <br />
<br />
And I hope all of you are finding comfort in being here and feeling supported as I have. I wish you all well and am hoping that your own situations work out and we can all have the bit of love/connection in our lives that we all need, want and deserve.<br />
<br />
Love to all<br />
J x (feeling overwhelmed hugely..)

You are not alone.....many of us have been there in one way or another. Keep your chin up and breath. I find venting on here and writing in a juornel helps me, it does not take the place of a real person, but I have faith that a real person will come back into my life, as they will for you too. :)

i can relate in so many ways. its a terrible feeling and its hard to live like this...............................

I know what it is like to lose someone you love, but to lose someone you love when they are still alive is unbareable.

Dear Tooproud J.,<br />
Not too long ago I met with an overwhelming sense of pain from being separated from my wife. This was like a few months ago, I've been separated for almost five years now. I had to ask God if this was punishment for my mistake, or was I simply missing something else that He wanted me to see. The latter was the case. I was so lonely that I felt like taking on a meaningless relationship just to fill the deep void I had. I didn't do that (thank God), I placed all my pain and confusion on God, and in return He gave me a purpose to fulfill. I don't feel so bad about not having someone to hold and to love as I did. I still want that experience, but now I trust God to provide me with it in His good time. I can only hope that you have such a trusting relationship with God J. otherwise I can't see how what I've shared here could be useful to you. I hope you do, because I believe your answer lies there in your heart, and it's not all about what you want, it's all about what God wants for you.<br />
Live In Love,<br />
Spiritedleo

I feel so drawn to your situation the rears fall and i cannot stop them. lonliness is so harsh and just to know others are there to talk to and identify with means so much .