I don't actually know if I want anything to do with people and life. They cause you so much pain and frustration.
I've found it neccesary to live an extremely isolated life as a result of not wanting to be let down, and also because my low self esteem make it hard for me to relate to people and join in. Maybe I'm self absorbed but I just find most people dull, stupid, selfish, greedy, aggressive, smug and cruel.
The result of all this is to create a very depressed and resentful person. I've come to see the world as an extremely cruel place and myself as the punchline to an elaborate joke. I watch people I know and knew progressing in life (many who certainly were not brighter than me in school) and here is me still stuck here after years and years, having no luck, no happiness and going nowhere. Just not invited to the party.