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Solitude, Peace, Self-reliance...and Lonely But Love It Too!

Hello fellow people!

Well, although I enjoy a lot of alone time; solitude, tranqulity, and silence, it gets to the point of desiring company. I look back in my past and I have always been consistently reserved, and in my own world; or to myself at least. There was a time when I wanted many friends and would have loved to be in a group of good people who were strong, supportive and intelligent. However it has been difficult finding those type of people who I mesh with. I am now 24 turning 25 and have to disconnect from another friend, which leaves me again with a very low support base. This friend I knew for 4 years or so but didn't know significant personality traits about him; because I just moved in with him. What has been revealed to me is his rash snobbiness; his arrogance, his disrespect, degradation, and ego. He has offended me from each of these areas directly, I have addressed them but to no prevail and I will not put up with it anymore. Sometimes I think, is it me? Sometimes it is, becuase I do hold vigorous and rigorous standards for human beings; simultaneously they are practical and should be inherent! Stark honesty, high morale, high integrity, astute, genuine and respect, among many other things. I have tried to go out and meet people and obtain phone numbers but the people I find I enjoy do not keep up their contact. Many have told me I am a good person but expect too much from people; and I am confident to believe the same but how can I just be friends with people who do not have the core aspects of what is important in a friendship? I belive I am just not finding the right people therefore I feel I don't fit in anywhere other than in my own self-reliance.

Ameliorate Ameliorate 26-30, M 7 Responses Jan 6, 2010

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I love your interpretation, every bit kdng!!

Hi there,



Wow, I am utterly shocked that your father said those words to you; and your initial reaction indicates how serious the value was to you. Nevertheless, you know it is disheartening that he is accurate. Earlier today I had to re-assess something about how I usually would respond to a scenario, jobwise, and I acknowlewdged that it's not highly valued to always speak the truth. This is our reality my friend, but like you said I just need to keep my eyes open for the best people to be around. Thank you for the encouragement. Peace!

While it may not seem so in my reply, I deeply appreciate the values you espouse. They were ingrained in me at a very early age, so much so that my father once commented on them by saying, "Perhaps we shouldn't have taught you to be so honest, it doesn't help you in today's business environment." That one statement was perhaps the saddest commentary on modern life I have ever heard. I just wanted to point out a view you might not have considered in my previous post, since I love playing devil's advocate. My real advice to you is as follows...never stop being yourself. Those values make you stand out among your peers because actions truly speak louder than words. There are too many people out there who walk the "road less traveled". Lowering your standards is simply a cop out and rids the world of the richness and quality it severely lacks today.. Keep your head held high and you might start to notice the few people out there who do hold the same values as yourself.

Best of luck to you fellow traveler.

Thanks man I appreciate your message.

You're strike me right off as a deep soul, and I see that as a genuine quality.

Refuse to feel lost and lonesome, look around you, and your true friends will appear.

I believe it, and you can too. There are few in this world that are worthy of friendship,

(from my perspective) but they do exist. Just keep looking around you, you'll see them.

Thank you for commenting. I do prefer new, unique and eccentric people; especially over the 'average' types. My intention in the message above was specific towards the core aspects of human beings; honesty, morale, integrity, understanding, authenticity and respect for people one calls friends. These types of people aren't perfect, but they are good people; they do what is right unto others because this is the way they want to be treated. If these values should be questioned then something is wrong, I am not asking for values that are unreasonable or unheard of. Unfortunately there are too many people in the human population who just don't 'get it' and rashly question true characteristics of quality humanity. We should be more honest, stronger, moral in life; it can lead to much humane richness.

I used to feel the same way. Then I did some soul searching of my own and figured out that most people are going to see you as a judgmental *****. Nothing in life is perfect, not even you. It's important to remember to strive for perfection, but not to punish yourself too badly when you fail to reach it. We are only human after all. Other people may not have had the same life experiences as you. This mindset has taught me to appreciate diversity and it's strengths. It also pointed out to me that any ideal, any concept, becomes perverted if it is taken to an extreme. Your quest for friends who all hold to your set of values denies you the one thing you should be trying to get out of life: the joy of experiencing something new.