Sad And Lonely

I know that some of you will probably think this is really callous of my but I am married to a wife with cancer. I am lonely, I moved here from Australia to be with her (She is from the US) about 8 years ago. She developed cancer four and a half years ago and things have been a struggle since. I feel so alone, I really have no friends, acquaintance's at work but other than that nobody.

I miss talking to someone about normal things, day to day life experiences, books etc. I know some of you think I am heartless but I love my wife but I just don't know what to do anymore. I can no longer talk or listen to discussions about medications etc. We don't do anything but sit like bookends on the couch, we go no where. I don't want to seem like I am complaining and I love my wife but I am going out of my mind.

It is not even about the lovemaking anymore that stopped bothering me a few years ago but it is just the simple things  I know many of you are think I am just out for something on the side but it is not that it is I feel like I am, going crazy. I some form I suppose I am being selfish as I would love some attention for me, is this wrong? I would love to feel some ones touch and to feel appreciated.

Anyway thanks for reading if you do

LonelyAussieinUSA LonelyAussieinUSA
41-45, M
3 Responses Feb 9, 2010

There's nothing wrong with you. But I bet you that she is waiting for you to WAKE UP! <br />
<br />
Listen, I'm not going to tell you what to do but she may only have a short time left. You and her have fallen into a pattern of couch potato-ness.<br />
You are not helpless and neither is she. My friend has cancer and he just went thru 7 bouts of chemo, and you know what? He's stronger than ever. Why? Because he fights to live. Both of you are dying, not just her. <br />
<br />
Wanna have some fun?<br />
You say you love her, so put aside your selfishness for a few hours. Bring back some rememberences to share with her- great times you have had-and get her in a good mood.<br />
Then tell her, "we're going out" with a smile on your face. Oh she'll hem and haw but remind her how you used to have fun together and take her out. Have fun together and the touching will come naturally...at least a hug...:)<br />
<br />
Then get her to someone who will help her condition. Have you looked into alternative therapies?<br />
My friend supplements his chemo with vegan diet and meditiation...I call him IRONMAN!

Every human being need appreciation ,and attention,but sometimes time demand something else from us ,but as good time never stay ,bad will also never stay for ever ........have patience.......time is the best healer.God bless..........

I don't really feel right posting here but.... I just wanted to say I know how you feel. I want some attention for me too. My husband doesn't have cancer but he really is the life of the party ALL THE TIME. It gets a little old. He always interrupts me while I am speaking in front of our friends...and I'm like- wow! ya know? He sucks the life force right out of me.<br />
I mean, don't get me wrong I understand our situations are totally different but the longing for our own spotlight is very similar and I just wanted to say that I can relate....<br />
many hugs to YOU.<br />
May you be strengthened each and every day in this journey....<br />
and know that you matter too =)