All Men Suffer In Silence

A good number of years ago I read a quote by a poet whose name I can’t remember, that all mean suffer in silence.   It stuck with me because I suppose at the time it had resonance for me.  But now years later I understand it fully.   Bonds of friendship wither, everlasting love ends, and after a while there is so much that has not been said that now there is nothing to be said anymore.  It is a strange thing to become estranged from everyone.

MtnMig MtnMig
36-40, M
6 Responses Feb 10, 2010

yeah basically, everyone else has said it.. I get lonely, pure and simple. I have friends - but they are all connected by partners / other friends / kids in one way or another. I don't fit into all that. I can understand the thing to be isolated whether I want to or not, it is fact at the end of the day. I don't have a significant other, just broken up..so yeah..

I too empathize with this feeling. I was looking for someplace to go on the internet one day, because I had lost contact with all my real life friends. My family is spread out all over the place. I miss meaningful contact. I searched google with "Find New Friends" and Experience Project came up. I had never heard of it. I came and read some stories, and decided to join. I deplore facebook and twitter and all those silly 'social networking' sites, they have no point really but mostly self aggrandizement. I like EP because it gets down to the nitty gritty in life, instead of sweet pablum and advertisements like myspace etc. <br />
I find that coming here at least links me with people of like minds, and some of them I hope to make into real life friends when we eventually meet later this year. It has been helpful to me, and even though my boyfriend is right here in this room, we both suffer from the compartmentalization of America, and the world, into groups of people who are segregated...<br />
Yesterday we were walking down the street, and a girl who used to be a really close friend of mine, we even lived together, rode by on a bike. She looked right at us, then right through us, I don't know if she recognized us, but she kept on going, and did not stop. I looked back at her, and she did not look back. How could she not have recognized us? She has known me for many years, and I have not changed my hair or face or gained weight or anything. I wonder, did she feel strange when she saw us and did not stop? Why did she keep going? It kind of hurt me, but, what can i do?<br />
I wish it was different, but how to change things?<br />
On a daily basis, I feel more and more separate and alone in the world, where have all the people gone? Are they in their houses feeling the same as I do?

XTHC, yes, you are right. I'm sure that there are a lot of people that feel estranged, many of which, if not most, likely never say much about it. <br />
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Meaningful interactions are so much less common in a superficial society. Substantive conversation is downright rare AND I WORK WITH SCIENTISTS! You would think that they would have something to say more imaginative than collages of clich├ęs.<br />
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I think the question is what do people like ourselves have in common other than feeling lonely or estranged?

Existential much? :)<br />
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very well said. Thanks. But you are not alone.<br />
I know exactly what you are saying, but the fact that I do, makes your statement untrue, doesnt it?<br />
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"If we are all alone within ourselves are we not connected to each other by the same aloneness that keeps us apart"?

What I expressed I think is experienced by many people - surrounded by people but estranged from all of them. <br />
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Everyday I exchange insincere pleasantries with people I know care far less about me than I care about them. I talk on the phone with friends and family with short attention spans and things to do. My significant other is aloof and besides why tell her anything, she freaks out and I just doubled by troubles. <br />
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Before we know it we have become estranged. But yes, it is never too late and who knows what the future may bring.

do you want to be estranged? bonds of friendships can strengthen and endure the test of time, everlasting love doesn't end, it changes...or rather the people in it. it's never too late to make amends or rather speak words that will give you peace.