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Nothing Like

people think i'm strong and resourceful and independent. well, i have had to be, but that's not the real me. i can be those things because if i want anything done in my life, it's up to me to do it, but there's a scared child somewhere deep down in this old lady's body. a little girl who would love if someone took her hand and said "it's ok ... i'll help you".

lol! wow, that sure sounds like a sob story, and i don't think i said it very well. i just get so tired of people leaving me to my own devices because i have learned how to survive all on my own. well, it was that or either end up in a rubber room or die, and i don't much like either of those options. i just wish i mattered enough to someone that they'd stop and think about how i'm doing instead of assuming everything's just fine and not act all put upon those rare times i ask for help.

it's a good thing i grew up a loner. i'm used to my own company, and i can get by with my own company, but sometimes i feel so alone it's like dying.

sorry to be a downer ...

bluenorthern bluenorthern 51-55, F Feb 15, 2010

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