Scare And Tired Of Feeling Lonely

 

I feel very lonely. I have friends that are not real to me. I have a boyfriend that worries about work 95% of the time and no family. I am trying to get myself busy and focus on myself but this feeling is very present. I am in the process of losing 2 friends for a second time due to, who knows? but I just don't have the energy to solve that anymore. So, it feels as if I am loosing my family again... I've been living in a different country from where I was born. so I dont have my immediate family with me, that amazing feeling of home and comfort is something I miss a lot.

  I know what it is to start all over again. I've done it a couple of times. Once, when I got married young, then when I divorced. I restarted my life after this in a whole different Province people and environment. I feel that just that is a great achievement for me, because I could of be in a very bad place if I would stayed with my ex-husband. But I have to say, I loved him so much, we had so much fun together, I felt I was my true self and lately I miss that feeling a lot.  I felt more alive than I feel now. I feel I am trying to wake up  or to get up but there is a 1ton piece of cement on top of me that is not letting me shake this feeling. I dont feel genuinely happy. I miss feeling alive.

acuadeterra acuadeterra
31-35, F
2 Responses Feb 17, 2010

Acua,<br />
<br />
That sounds familiar about now losing 2 friends and not having the energy. I feel so lonely right now, my friends that I did have seem to have drifted away and now I have my family with a husband that works all of the time. Right now, I cooked supper for him and called to make sure he would be home for dinner (he said he would) and now he is 45 minutes late and from past experience, he could be home up to 5-6 hours late without a phone call. Actually as I am writing this, I am getting angry too. Angry that I have become isolated and waiting on someone. Bah. <br />
<br />
How does one make a new social circle? Build from scratch? It feels odd to try to expand without my husband, but then again, he is not around too much for input. Does anybody have the same situation? I kind of feel guilty about trying to make new friends to hang out with by myself.

I thnk i realy feel for u and would luv to be your comford but im not a married man how about that?