I Know

i know in my heart, only i can make this darkness go away. i cant n wont rely on others to make it better. the feelings inside of me r  like a black hole, so deep is my pain, n lonliness.. i look at myself in the mirror, i wonder who is that woman staring back at me. she use to smile, she use to laugh, know she was a painted on mask to hide her pain, to hide her tears, somewhere in there am still there.

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26-30
6 Responses Feb 19, 2010

As goggos, darknessofitall and some of the others have said, Its hard to escape the loneliness. I am living in a prison without walls. I too live a lie on the outside, smiling and putting on a front so no one else will see but deep down inside I am in pain and I too am in a relationship but its like she isn't there. She knows nothing of my pain and loneliness and has no idea of how I feel. She is to wrapped up in her life to know whats going on with me. I know one thing that holds true: You cannot truly love and care someone else until you love yourself first.

I have always been a loner, pretty much. I don't make friends easily even though everyone thinks I'm just the nicest person. I guess that doesn't really matter. The truth is that I live a lie and what's more I'm feel completely alone much of the time. I try to be content, but at the heart of it, I can't really escape my loneliness. I'll survive for a while, but eventually I know it will eat away at me. Having friends definitely helps, but I think the only thing that will truly keep me going would be to find someone to share my life with, a significant other. That's the only thing that will heal me. I've had friends and they just don't care or I don't let them in. I need someone that understands me, that wants to be with me most of the time, that can be there for me. A friend or family member really can't because they will always have someone else. It's not that a significant other wouldn't spend time apart from me, but they would be there when I need them. I don't trust that friends or family will be from past experience. Loneliness is interesting because it's inescapable until the gap is filled.

that's so true! if you have yourself that's what counts.

some of my best reflections have been in in front of the mirror. <br />
just one on one with me. i have personal sessions all the time.. lol <br />
ask yourself, mirror, mirror why are u so lonely. <br />
talk to your self and you'll love your self n it will overflow to others. :)<br />
it might be weird, but you'll have fun.

I have been lonely for so long I just think i have gotten use to been a loner. (I am in a relationship) but somehow wonder where to for us... My fiance's Boss told him to leave me... and he left but returned a few days later ... I have been carryng this hurt for so long... (he is still with me today and we got engaged, but will it last and if not who will take the blame? - I have distanced myself from family, friends and even my fiance... I dont believe I should be lonely - If only the people never listened to one side of the story and just give the "other party" a chance to put their cards on the table they would see that the one who is blamed and hides from everyone is in fact the one that is not to blame - I guess that is the first sign of taking a step back and becoming distant even towards those we love. Lonelyness is a lonely road to follow - Its up to us to change that and make friends with people who you can relate to! We dont deserve to be alone with no one to talk to ... So I will wait for YOU to accept me into your circle as i have learned not to push myself into spaces and places I may not be wanted...