I Feel Lonely & Unattractive.

My story is very long but to make it short here goes.... I was in a marriage where I started feeling unwanted & ignored. I tried helplessly to work harder , even get a second job besides my part time job & caring for my kids, got a new hair cut , lost losts of weight & tried to be sexy & do whatever HE wanted, tried to not let it hurt when HE slept on the couch, & when he would go out with his friends & not take me out & So on & so on. FInally I realised he didn't want me. He said he wanted a divorce & I begged him to give me a chance & work things out or maybe see a marrigae counseler, but he said no that I would never change. Anyway, needless to say I cried so hard & felt like I couldn't smile, even my kid asked me why I didn't smile anymore & I tried to smile around my kids & cry in private. My heart ached so much. So after 8 months of living with my kids alone & crying & going through the pains & finanlly coming to grips & moving on , then he said "Oh , I'm sorry I made a big mistake & really want to get back with you." I told him I don't know if I can I've moved on & I went through so much hurt. Now he is making it out to seem like I wanted the divorce & blaming me. I cry alone at night & listen to music crying myself to sleep. It's hard to be alone & I worry about growing old & that no man will like me. Especially since single moms have it the hardest to find a man. Also getting older works against me , even though people say I don't even look my age & could pass for a 24 year old , even though I 'm 33.

I think that when your single you worry more about how you look. I 've thought about getting plastic surgery , breast implants & so on & so on. I can barely go out with adults as I can barely afford a babysitter. So I feel so lonely & the internet is my only social outlet. Has anyone been through what I've been through & what did you do to overcome it?

Leilalove Leilalove
31-35, F
3 Responses Feb 22, 2010

Im going through that right now. I feel lonly and lost everyday. He treats me like **** and when he starts noticing im pulling away he treats me better. we are seperated but he doesnt want a divorce. He has girls he tells he loves more than anything in the world and stuff but says he wants time to work out his head so he can work on us. Im over weight and 31 but look 50. Im so scared ill end up alone also. Im tired of crying every night and the head aches and throwing up is horrible. But there are days that its not so bad to wake up. I hold on to the hope that the next day will be better . I know one of these days it will. Hopefully we can overcome it. If you need anything i understand.im here. your not alone

im sorry,it does sound terribly lonely,i wishi could help, theres happiness out there you just gotta go get it. it has to be easier for women though. dress sexy and shop around, there are men that will give you happiness and the moon . flaunt what you got youll find him

im sorry,it does sound terribly lonely,i wishi could help, theres happiness out there you just gotta go get it. it has to be easier for women though. dress sexy and shop around, there are men that will give you happiness and the moon . flaunt what you got youll find him