Lonely Always

Hello im fifty three yr old father of three,my wife left me 3 yrs ago,iam so lonely and screwed up,i just cant function as a normal person anymore.I loved her so and shes gone but thats not the hardest part,its that i seem to be a social reject ,i just dont know how or where to find friends.Most of the time i feel like im loosing my freaking mind it hurts so bad.I keep praying ill pull out of this someday.I dont know how to have a life.Im desperate.Thanks im Kimball

kimbleisme kimbleisme
51-55, M
3 Responses Mar 2, 2010

kimbleisme,<br />
<br />
I feel for you bro, when my wife left I was crushed. I absolutely adored her. It's been almost 10 years and still I grieve. I'm in a new relationship but I have to tell you that often I find my mind wondering to those bittersweet memories. Time does not heal but it makes it tolerable. <br />
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It is easy to feel estranged from people after something like this. After all how many times could I tell my friends how sad I was about it, and I was not going to make new friends by sulking about it either. So it left me feeling pretty isolated. <br />
<br />
I’m not one of those people that is going to tell you that there is a silver-lining to all this and that you will emerge a stronger and wiser man. No, something in life just suck and it’s ok to say that. I can tell you that you’ll make it through and in time you will learn to be in the skin of the person that emerges from all this. Hang in there.

You are grieving, this is so normal.<br />
Start making yourself go out whether its dinner a movie a library, Large book stores are fun to go to and be approachable. Okay this is crazy but if i were real lonely i'd go to an aa meeting they are such nice people. and of course there is church and match.com? Good luck it wil get better with time. You have your sex going for you I think men are more in demand than women. You might end up in a year or two thanking God above for this, I did,

My hubby filed for a divorce today. We have 3 kiddos. I have never really fit in and don't care to socialize much. Perhaps you spent so much time with your family, you never really got to know yourself and you are just scared? Everyone will fail you. I am not trying to be pessimistic, just honest. You must dig deep inside and find what will make you happy. If you find friends in your desparation, you may end up pleasing them and/or doing what it is that interest them just for the sake of having friends. Be a friend to yourself, and get to know yourself. The confidence will grow you learn to be content being alone, and before you know it you will meet good quality people who are attracted to you and who you are attracted to. (personalities.)