26 Years Old

26 years ago I was born and loved conditionally.

21 years ago I called the police to stop my parents from beating each other. Again.

All this time I am being beaten myself. Inside and out.

10 years ago I got pregnant my first time having sex and had an abortion. I will never forgive myself. 

3 years ago I cheated on my fiancee. The only one close to loving me unconditionally. 

I have been an alcoholic for 10 years.

The guy I cheated on my fiancee with recently told me he "met someone".

That night I relapsed after over 100 days of being sober.

That night I fell and broke my ankle in 2 spots.

That night I lay screaming on the street because I could not walk. No one stopped to help me. 

I thought I was going to die and screamed until a policeman showed up and took me home. 

Last week I had surgery on my ankle and when I woke up from recovery, no one was there. No friends. No family. 

Tonight I sit unable to walk for at least another 7 weeks.

Tonight I feel so unbelievably alone and sad that it may just kill me. 

Tonight I will continue to wonder why no one really loves me. 

Tonight I will sit here and think about why I deserve this pain.

 

 Tonight I will still be alone.  

KathyK26 KathyK26
26-30, F
4 Responses Mar 2, 2010

God is always with you. To the Christian he is always with you even though you can not see him. But christ is for everyone who comes to him and seeks him. He is real. Supernatuarally and Physically Real. The Lord sent a Angel to me to prove this. He is real. Seek Jesus in your King James Bible, accept him as your Lord and Savior. Once you do He will never leave you, He loves all creation both humans and animals. He will never leave you or forsake you.<br />
<br />
Peace,<br />
<br />
D

God is always with you. To the Christian he is always with you even though you can not see him. But christ is for everyone who comes to him and seeks him. He is real. Supernatuarally and Physically Real. The Lord sent a Angel to me to prove this. He is real. Seek Jesus in your King James Bible, accept him as your Lord and Savior. Once you do He will never leave you, He loves all creation both humans and animals. He will never leave you or forsake you.<br />
<br />
Peace,<br />
<br />
D

So you were that 16 year old girl going through a tough decision when I was just 12...hard to imagine.<br />
I have heard your story tonight. Feel less lonely now.

Know yourself. Look at why you did what you did and see about making adjustments gradually. I'm sorry that you are alone during these hardships but know and recognize that the sun will rise again and you raise your head and sigh with relief as you recover and move forward.