Lonely Me

I guess like a few of my other stories it started when i was 12 and my mother started her drugs.But now that i think about it, it kinda started when i was younger.Close to 6. My mother, brother and i moved to Washington state because my Grandmother on my mothers side had just passed and my mother got her money.We left my Father behind because he was in the music industry and his label was located in Florida where we were living.My father had promised my mother that as soon as he could he would join us so we could go on living as a big happy family.

 After a year, my father called my mother one day and confessed to her that he had another child on the way.At age 5 i didn't understand why my mother was so hurt by this news.To me it was someone else to play with.My mother broke down in my little arms and i held her for at least 3 hours.It pains me now to look back at that and to know what i know now.Well the mother of my half sister pressed charges on my dad and forbid him from seeing my Lil sis.

My father convinced my mother to move back down south so we could go on living and she of course took him back.I've only met my little sister one time in my life and she was 7 months old when i did.She is now around 14 i believe.Anyways we moved back down and for the first 4 or 5 months everything was fine.My father started drinking....and drinking...and drinking.He became abusive towards me and my brother and made us hide it from my mom.I'd go to school with bruises on my arms and id just tell the teachers that i had a habit of walking into stuff.

Then it happened.My father stayed out all night one night and my mother worried so she called him alot.He had been at my little sisters mothers house.He came in drunk and flipped the coffee table  that i had been sitting on.I flew into a wall across the room as my mother started to scream and dive for me.He grabbed her by her hair and yelled in her face "***** IF I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU I WOULD'VE ANSWERED!!". I remember the cold words to this day.My brother quickly picked me up and ran me to the corner and shielded me from harm as my dad continued to beat my mother.My mom screamed at us to run next door and call the cops.My father screamed at us to stay where we were.Eventually we ran.

We never saw my father after this.Until lately hes tried to come back in our lives.We never stopped him from trying to get in contact with us.We wanted him there but he just never tried.Due to his absence i looked for the love i couldn't get from anyone other then another man....and i know it sounds wrong but i don't know how else to describe it.I didn't have the love from my father so i looked for any kind of love from a man....maybe that's how its supposed to be said.

twinni twinni
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 10, 2010

thanx myth<br />
<br />
the way i look at it is if they had been there we wouldnt be who we are today.not a bad thing in some ways but in others it is.