I Don't Have A Best Friend

I wonder if I have ever had one.

At elementary school I had "best friends", like a group. We wrote our daily experiences in a diary. After we graduated we become apart. We still contact each other, rarely tough.

At junior high school I had to face my first day alone. None of my elementary school friends entered the same junior high school as me. At that time I thought I was doing okay. I made friends. I joined a marching band and got some friends there too. But I didn't have any close friends. They're all divided into anime-lover friends, marching band friends, and so on.

Same goes to high school. I'm more active in high school. Now I'm even the head of my school's jurnalistic club. But still no close friends. I had a deskmate at 10 grade. At 11 grade she moved to the social class, and I'm in the science class. We used to be close. But now she hangs out with my other friends. They love to hang out in cafe, take photographs somewhere. I'm not into those things and soon we were apart. I realized that we were close at 10 grade just because we share a desk.

I never share my feelings to anyone. I just think that there's no way they could understand, so why bother. I guess that's what's keeping me at a distance from my friends. But I just can't trust them.

unguanime unguanime
18-21, F
Mar 13, 2010