Messed Up Big This Time...

About 6 years ago, I made a friend at college.  We would go to the pub on lunch breaks, play cards, etc... After he left college we kind of lost contact until, a year later, I saw him in the bus station.  I called him over and he introduced me to his new wife.  They'd recently moved to my town and we've been friends ever since.  They now have a 3 year old son and the three of them have been like a family to me.  Their son even calls me 'Uncle Kris'.  They are my best friends and the only real friends I've ever really had.

I've always found her to be a very attractive woman, but I thought nothing of it.  But for the past few months I realised that I was starting to fall in love with her.  At first, I assumed it was just a phase and that I'd get over it, but the feelings just got stronger every day.  Eventually, I confessed to her that I had fallen in love with her while we were talking on msn.  The story could have ended there, except what happened next was somewhat unexpected.  She told me the feeling was mutual.  We talked all night and she told me she wasn't entirely happy in their marriage.  And I could tell, from seeing them on a regular basis, that there were problems.  Her husband had anger issues and they argued every day about really minor and insignificant things.

As a result, she told her husband she wanted a separation.  They remained in the same house though, for their son's benefit.  Me and her eventually  gave in to temptation and started seeing each other in secret.  And all was going well until her husband altered her msn settings so he could read one of our conversations.  The one he read was 100% innocent, but he took it completely the wrong way so I was, from that point on, forbidden from coming anywhere near them.  After this, she decided we should probably call it off, but we were barely apart for a whole day before temptation struck again and we realised we were unable to resist each other's company.

We continued to see each other, taking things slowly until just a couple of days ago when she told me over msn that we need to call it off and that she can't be near me any more because she won't be able to resist.

I was warned by a good friend not to get involved, but I listened to my heart over my head and ruined everything.

I am now completely alone, no job, no girlfriend, no friends.  For these few weeks of happiness, I've lost the only real friends I've ever had and I ahve never before felt as lonely and depressed as I do right now, sitting alone in my room wondering what went wrong.

 

krisDC krisDC
22-25, M
Mar 13, 2010