I Think I'm Losing My Friend...

I think.... but i'm not sure really...

i don't know if it's a "misery loves company" phase that he's going through and so i shudn't take it personally or if he's thinking i-no-longer-want-or-need-you-in-my-life-so-just-disappear-already....

he's one of my best friends... i care about him and so either way it hurts......

 

sometimes it feels as if life is perpetually trying to get me to master the art of letting go... it definitely is not one of my strongest suite, i easily get attached emotionally to people who come into my life....and though i know no one stays forever and some stay more briefly than others, it hurts just the same when they leave....

they say letting go is the hardest but most necessary lesson one has to learn in life... well if it was never supposed to be easy i guess i'm on the right path.... i know that over the years i have gotten better at it...not so much that it hurts less but that i am more efficient at numbing the pain....

still there are moments it hurts acutely.. and at times like these i feel alone...i am on a mission to be more positive about things in my life but i don't know what to do about this dark cloud...today i woke up with a dreadful heavy weight lodged in my chest...  

i dont like burdening others with my sadness and so i just hurt quiet....

nrskjh nrskjh
26-30, F
5 Responses Mar 13, 2010

Kikio, i have considered that it may be that he needs space and i have even asked if that's what he needs but he says no....and he still talks to me, he's just more...reserved.....i dunno, maybe it's just a phase.. we'll see.. for now i just have to deal with missing the friend i used to have i guess.<br />
Thank you for your note :)

did u try asking the person whats up, if its a case where u did and they r still acting this ways then maybe they just need space

Thank you Rebecca. Thing is i'm the go-to girl when people want a listening ear or advice. The few times i have tried to talk to them about any unhappiness i may be experiencing they kinda give me the "erm...now what?" look and go on to tell me that they figure i'm sensible enuff to deal with it accordingly. That or they get alarmed, as if me being unhappy = an unusual unnatural disaster. There is one person i could talk about anything freely with and to whom i always confide in but he's the person i'm writing about in the story...so......i guess that's why i feel the loss even more. <br />
<br />
SpringSnow, it sure does hurt...i just hope i get used to the hurt enough that i don't wake up with a weight in my chest. I hate waking up feeling like that... takes conscious and considerable effort to remain positive despite of it throughout the day. <br />
<br />
Thank you for reading and commenting ladies :)

It hurts. It really does.

if you have other freinds, they wont feel its a burden, ive told my friends after the fact and every time they've said something to the tone of "i would have helped you, you can always tell me, i dont mind at all rebecca." but i never seem to believe them. its hurt me alot, the more you open up to people, the more they will know when you are sad and comfort you. gl.