Relationship Isn't The Cure All Magic Pill, Not Even Close

Ha, I knew it, I knew it all the way from the beginning! Relationship doesn't really solve any loneliness, in fact, it only makes matter worse assuming one is lonely before starting a relationship, let me tell you what's happening to me:


1. I spent as much time as I could with my gf, yeah it felt great in the beginning... I met her nearly every weekend. Those were some of the best times I've had: carefree and loneliness free...

2. Slowly I didn't even care to spend time with my friends anymore. My gf seems to have solved all my issues... I didn't need anyone else. I'll try everything to be with her, forever, and take care of her as much as I could... yeah right...

3. Then reality settles in: grad school, family, school work...etc. For so long I've focused all my energy in my relationship and gave in my everything... but now my head is clearing up and I realize I've simply reduced my ability to be independent. All the time and energy investment into this relationship may simply yield nothing in the end.

The end result? I feel much worse when my gf isn't around. I miss the old times when lonliness simply means ~10 minutes of unproductivity and lack of motivation. I must learn to be a soloist again. I was naive enough to put all my attention in a relationshp and neglected most of my other aspects in life... now I must pay the price....

Yeah really, if you are thinking: I'm gonna find that special someone and I'll spend every waking second of my life to be completely in love with that one person alone... think again, such person DOES NOT exist. It's a foolish and unrealistic assumption. It only yielded dissapointment in my case. Love works, but reality comes first. Really, reality >>> all, not love.

deleted deleted
1 Response Mar 15, 2010

Sigh.... so sorry. Disappointment is an undoubtably terrible feeling. I've never been in love before, so I really don't know whether my saying anything will mean much. But it was always my impression, that such loneliness cannot be resolved by other people, because it is that original problem that was never solved. And if one looks for the answer within another person one would become dependent or addicted to that person. It seems... maybe just to me anyway... that you were not ready for love, for you were looking for the fix for loneliness and not love. But again, forgive me if I'm wrong, I hath never loved.