I Hate Being a Single Mother
I have been alone ever since I found out I was pregnant with my daughter at 35. I have never been married and have no other children. I thought things were going to be ok because I had a good career, a nice home, and my education behind me.
I have experienced rejection like I never thought was possible. I only recently started dating again, and no one wants to go out with me because I have a child. The only guy that was interested is divorced with a daughter, but has a very nasty relationship with his former wife...I don't want that drama in my life or my daughter's.
I never thought that being a single mother would make me that undesirable. I don't need a man for financial support for my daughter, I am ok parenting her alone...but no one wants to go out with me.
If I thought that my life would be destroyed by this, I may have chose adoption..b/c what good am I as a mother if I am miserable all the time? I used to be ok being single, but in my age group, no married mothers want anything to do with me...they associate with other married mothers. I have invited these women to lunch and they always find a reason to decline. My single girlfriends don't call me for anything because I always have to make arrangements for a sitter.
The one guy I have been seeing has made it clear that we can date, but to never expect anything permanent with him because he didn't want to raise someone else's child. I find myself still seeing this person because I am so miserable from being alone all of the time, that it's my only outlet to get out of the house and have an adult conversation or enjoyment.
I never, ever in my wildest dreams believed it could be this bad. It's making me resent my child...and she has done nothing wrong.