My Life Is My Punishment
I feel as if my loneliness is a punishment of some kind. I live alone in a little apartment, with no roommates and few visitors. I work alot, in fact, I only got home an hour ago after working a day I'm supposed to be off.
I don't drive because I suffer severe vertigo and am at the whim of how far I can walk or how much money I have for public transit. All of my friends have moved away or to farther distances than I can usually travel.
I am not a good looking person. I acknowledge and accept that true love and companionship is beyond my grasp. It has been since I had hit puberty some eight or nine years ago. When they do see the inner me, they only want a friend, because the outer me is no prize. This I have recently learned to accept.
My schedule is hectic, yes... But is it too much to ask for one person to talk to on a daily basis? What have I done to **** off whomever? It wasn't until I recieved medication a few months ago that for the past year I had exhibeted suicidal thoughts.
All I can do is basically learn to take it like a man.