Lonely Me........

friends arent lacking in my life ,they are there and they are nice to me.

i used to a class topper till i passed my 10th grade.

i had this same lonely feeling even then i wanted someone special whom i could share all my stories all my love.

just when i came out of school after 10th grade, that is during the summer vacations, my classmate  proposed to me. he became  my happiness, and he remains.

god knows what went wrong we remained close but we joined different colleges for our eleventh grade.

things went on in fact dragged on with studies again, parents forcing me to study harder , i did study and also wished may i find the real person. at this point , i had forgotten about my classmate who i lost, thinking he wasnt the right choice, may be my mind forced me to accept his proposal because since my mind was desperate for someone special , i accepted that one who came on my way.

and come the 11th grade finals, i was seriously preparing for my exams, i got a call from him. it was a friendly chat. as i kept the phone i wanted to talk to him again. days ran, i couldnt gather the courage . he didnt reply to my texts even. my results came out. it was not that bad. but bad according to my parents.

his memory irritated me, i want to forget him, i wont let my 12th grade this year, a crucial year to let go off my hand . he ignores me , i get more irritated . i want to be a doctor in future and i cant afford a payment seat, i need get myself a best rank and a free seat .

all i want is i want to rememeber him no longer. its a illusion. he got over me because i was fickle minded.

i have to fulfil my dreams, my parents dreams , just brushing aside facts that i feel an intense crave for someone special in my life, an  anger within that why am i suffering so much?

worldly pleasures like cellphones, branded clothes i can get over but how do i get over this stupid mind of mine which keeps thinking of that dont-know -who- someone-special. and how do i convince my idiot mind that if i waste time on this and lose a chance of becoming a doctor and serving people , i would even lose the chance of meeting the destined -to -meet , the real - potential someone -special of my life( whoever it is!). help me someone!! pls suggest sumthing ........