Its FRiday tommorrow and i want to go out and party like everyonelse my age but i have no friends to do that with. im sick of staying in every weekend i feel like im wasting my life away. its depressing me. i suffer from severe anxiety disorder so i find it hard to make new friends etc so i cant win. i feel so sick inside it hurts. i just want to be like everyonelse and go out with good friends and have a good time im so lonley and isolated right now you dont understand how alienated i feel. i only have confidence when drinking alcohol. whats some suggestions i could do. i dont even watch tv now because im so sick and bored of it thats all there is to do in the house. it dosent help when i log into my social networking sites to see everyone posting pictures with their friends on a weekend at clubs and having a good time. suggestions please? i feel like crying im so depressed im only young and sick of feeling like this wasting my life away day by day draggin in and nothing to wake up to.
pinkglitteress pinkglitteress
26-30, F
2 Responses May 15, 2014

i feel the same way

Gosh, I remember feeling the same way when I was your age. I'd sit at home every weekend and not know what to do. I eventually headed out by myself to see what I could find.
I found lots of trouble! If I could council that young girl again I would tell her to stay home and find healthy things to do. I'd tell her to get involved in groups that were doing something meaningful and positive.I'd tell her to stay away from drinking and partying.

Humans are such incredibly creative creatures. There has to be a healthy way out of this loneliness for you without ruining yourself with drinking and partying.

How about learning a sport or a solitary activity that could evolve into a group activity. I know bike riding was a big passion of mine and there are groups that go out together.

How about volunteering? Its so good for your self esteem and you will really be contributing to your community.

Have you tried going to a charismatic church? Church has some great groups for kids and they are more accommodating of people.

Are you working or going to college? Either one of those things should get you out and about meeting people.

I don't want to make you feel any worse than you already do. You have my sympathy. I so remember being in the same shoes as you. Life is a long journey and our youth is such a short time. I personally found out that I love being alone but I'm unique.

I have a son who just loves people and can't live without them. He just can't. He's in college and he was in such despair when he wasn't really meeting anyone. Now he's involved in a church group and has loads of friends to go to hang out with at meetings and picnics, etc. He's happy and has all the drama of relationships he could want.

I on the other hand have never enjoyed the company of other people as much as the advertising suggests you ought to. I learned to be a part of my community without having to have friends and I'm happiest that way.

You are your own unique person on your own unique journey and I hope you find your own path! Don't give up! If its something you want just keep trying.

Thank you so much. so what helped you then when you was in my position i find it hard going to groups as i suffer from severe anxiety which is also leading me to depression so im not the best person to be around i guess and its very awkward when meeting people as much as i want to though because im lonley because of it all.

i replied to youre other comment but what i didnt add and dont think ive mentioned is that i cant socialize without alcohol because it gives me that confidence to do it without it my anxiety is crippling im unable to socialize with people i becone very awkward my speech is all over the place i shake etc its really uncomfortable feeling i have to get out of so i avoid it no one quite understands unless they have been in my situation i know i should do it overcome it and go to groups but i cant as much as i want to be able to do it without any of the shaking awkwardness etc..

i would also love a boyfriend but i dont have the courage to talk to guys i shake litterally have a bad tremour that takes over my full body its embarrassing but doctor says its my anxiety. no i dont work once again my anxiety has stopped my from doing so its really crippling id love to work.

I remember being so shy that when a guy would talk to me I would freeze and he thought I was being rude. I honestly think that you should see a therapist. You have a legitimate cause. They kind of work with you and give you a support while you try to make your way out. Or you can just do what I did and go out and drink and meet people and find out more about people and yourself while your at it. Maybe you won't become a terrible alcoholic like I did! I have a history of alcoholism in my family. I did meet people and I did learn to talk to people a lot easier, and I was less intimidated by them, but I also got pregnant at 15. That ended any concern I had over whether I could have friends and socialize anymore. Then I was a hermit until I was divorced at 38. After that I had to work and that forced me out of the house. Working gave me a sense of self respect I never really had before. Now I'm really old and I'm glad I'm not shy anymore, but I've lost interest in being social at all.
I hope you find a healthy way out of being so shy. I think its pretty normal at your age to be shy. I know I'm talking way too much but I have to share also about my baby sister. She is one of the most outgoing, friendly people I've ever met but when she lived with me for a few months she got so shy and introverted that when people talked to her she just about died. She finally left because she couldn't stand feeling like that. Being out of situations where you talk to people tends to make you feel very sensitive to talking to people and you become out of practice. Getting in positions where you have to interact with people may be hard at first but it desensitizes you and makes you much more at ease.
The number one thing you shouldn't do is beat up on yourself. One psychiatrist I talked to really helped me by giving me permission to be shy, if that was my nature. It made me stop hating myself and learn to deal with my life while being shy.
So:
1. You can go out and have a drink, and desensitize yourself that way, hopefully avoiding getting pregnant in the process.
2. You can give yourself permission to be shy and work from there.
3. Don't beat yourself up or allow others to do so. In other words be kind to yourself. Thats really important even if you aren't shy.
4. You can talk to a therapist who will walk you through healthy ways to stop being so shy.

Hope that helps!

Thanks for youre advice it means alot because i have no support right now. also ive had therapy both psychiatrists and phsycologist in.which none of them helped me. i do not find it helpful i feel it makes me worse..

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