In a State of Emptiness

i feel i will always be alone. perhaps it is my anorexia or asperger's that causes people to shy away from me.  i have so many things in life that i havn't experienced.  things that might seem strange to other people in my age group.  im 23, by the way.  i made a small list of things i have never experienced, or things i am unable to do.  these things i cant do all build up and make me feel sad, like im abnormal.              

1. i have Never had a boyfriend  2. i have not even had my first kiss

3. i have never been on a date  4. i never attended college.

5. i have never been to a party   6. i have never had a job

ashleyray123 ashleyray123
3 Responses Mar 5, 2009

I'm 23 also....and I agree with the statement that zeb made above. But I can see how you want to experience these things and see what the hype is about, because it "seems" normal. But who want's normal anyways? I think it's cool to embrace your abnormality! I know everyone wants to feel like they fit in and belong somewhere. I completely know where your coming from. There are plenty of things I have'nt experienced yet. But it's never to late(though it may feel like it) to experience what you want to....everything has it's right time. hugz 2 ya

boys are stupid and only want sex, kissing is overrated, dates are pretty much just the guy trying to get in your pants, college is pretty much a bunch of pointless work, parties are mostly just drunken stupidity, and jobs suck. trust me, your not missing out on much.

Ashley, You are young an I think have plenty of time to experience all you wish, if you will give yourself permission. When you are ready, just put it into the God Box and say I am ready. The experiences will begin in due time. Many hugs your way...You are not alone.