Noiseless Is Lonley

I am not always lonley, and most of the time just wish for someone to talk to. I am home all day because I dont work because I have schizophrenia. I justed moved to NH with ym boyfriend. I have no friends here. Most of the time I spend my time alone at his house, we dont go out much. normally he comes home from work and goes on his computer till bed time. Sometimes ill go in his computer room and watch him do stuff on the internet so I dont get to lonley. I like saturdays because we go to amtgard(larping) where he plays his larp with friends, I dont play but I atleast like going out and seeing other people....even if none of them talk to me. But then sometimes I hate it an just wish I never went with him to amtgard because no one talks to me and sometimes im left alone while him and the others go play in the woods. im not trying to complain about my life, or make people feel bad for me. I just want others to talk to and want them to understand why I feel so lonley at times. I think its more of myself then anything else, I shouldnt feel lonley. I live with a boyfriend who loves me, but i cant help feeling alone somtimes. Its no ones fault, maybe i just need to make new friends, even though that is really hard considering I cant drive because of my schizophrenia and I take online college courses instead of going to an actual college to be social. any other lonley people want to be my friend?
noiseless noiseless
18-21, F
2 Responses Sep 7, 2012

im lonley to you can talk to me

You should definately get out more. It sounds weird that when he gets home hes just online that long. I know how it feels to be ignored and isolated it sucks. I struggle with depression sometimes so even if Im around other people sometimes I feel completely alone. But it sounds like you do really good around people so maybe you could volunteer locally like at an animal shelter, homeless shelter, food bank, something like that. I used to do that so I could test out being "normal". Even though I didn't trust anyone, I would force myself to talk to everyone, and they were very friendly and appreciated my help...worked really good since they didn't know I was scared to death of crowds and strangers. Can you catch a bus or subway to go places? that way you could enjoy the ride too LOL

thank you, I would get out more if I could, I do not go anywhere alone, to paranoid and its to dangerous for me. if i had someone to meet somewhere then iprobably would go out more. but I dont. because no one around here to meet.

I know exactly what you mean I am skitsoaffective and it is so hard to have relationships because your scared if people find out your crazy they won't like you or a lot of times I am scared to be in social situations with men because they could easily take advantage. The best thing is to learn conversation openers.

oh ok, dang....i know how it is starting over. I moved from NYC to very bottom of country...big diff, new fam new school...just tuff. hang in there you'll find some friends...don't stop trying!